Yes definitely red flag

Firstly, she will say “ala nothing la dont be so overly sensitive”

But then she will be comparing you (husband/bf) with other guys in her circle of friends

U will not be good enough for her because she is comparing the good qualities of 10 men against your weaknesses. But she doesnt look at the others’ weaknesses, because those are not visible to her, she doesnt know what the others are hiding.



This post has been edited by amboi_asamboi: Aug 24 2025, 06:24 PM

Story of my friend:

His ex was very popular among the guys. She was pretty, funny, independent, intelligent, smart, outgoing, good with her words and an extrovert. She used to go for a lot of outings, active in school activities, school debate team, and president of a couple of clubs.

All men drool over her because she was like a trophy wife everyone would loved to have.

My friend, on the other hand, was the total opposite. He was an introvert, dont know how to sweet talk girls and can’t even make MLM people sell him their membership. He hate outdoor and he dont like to meet new people.

But the law of attraction says opposites attract right? Thats how my friend and his ex ended up together. It was not easy at first, but they persevered. I think she put in a lot of effort to accommodate his personality. They dont go to expensive dating places and she knows i dont like crowds. They always go to small little tiny cafes which people wont go, and they spent a lot of time at home, cooking and watching NatGeo documentaries.

When her career started to take off, their paths started to diverge more and more.

She is CEO material, high flyer, but he is just a simple copywriter, eking a living out of his laptop on his dining table. He let her use their study room because she has more important meetings to attend in privacy.

Ok back to the story how their path started to go from a single point to two gaping lines.

She has a promotion dangled in front of her, and she kept chasing it, knowing she would land it within 2 years. She worked late, networking, travel, checking all her reports 10times and reworked them again and again, and worked 12 - 15 hours a day, 6 days a week. Sunday she would be going for company events, barely got any time for my friend.

She thought he would be ok with it because he worked from home and he didn’t like social events. She thought he understood and she thought he supported her ambition and her promotion.

Sex was non existent by then. From previous once a week to once every 3 months to 6 months and as sporadic as rain in the desert.

My friend was left high and dry.

Mana boleh mcm tu… syurga kat bawah tapak kaki suami ko tau tak? Suami ada keperluan, siapa nak bagi nafkah batin?

Then my friend found out

She had affairs with other men in her circle of friends, including office.

Not 1, not 2, but 3.

I malas wanna go into detail. My friend asked for divorce and turun talak 3.

Depends.
But not really.

The judge will decide what is the best for the child, and who has the ability to take care of the child: education, environment, living conditions (ie one of the parents is abusive, dont have time for the kids because of work etc)

The parent who wants the custody must demonstrate that he/she can do it. But then again not everything is black n white. Really depends.

I have a friend, 2 kids. Each husband & wife take one, which is terrible for the kids because the siblings get separated. That is very very sad.

Back to ur question again. Adultery or cheating wont automatically decide the custody to be granted to the other party.

What are the advice?

Example?

Quite mild
Maybe she felt attacked and guilty?