Minimum 50% savings rate.
Using phones until they are obsolete (banking app no longer support) or dead or too slow
Able to shop second hand, buy pre loved clothing, buy reduce to clear fruits and veges.
Wait for discount to buy things.
Know what is expensive.
No fancy facial, aesthetic treatment or fancy makeup.
No branded items.
Able to choose a RM500 rental Vs a RM1500 rental. This one shows me that she is being frugal even though she damn well can afford the RM1500 place.
Appreciate just walking in parks
Able to eat at kopitiam or economy rice stall.
Able to say no to overseas holiday to save up for the future.
No Starbucks, mixue, chatime, no netflix.

If one choose to live a FIRE lifestyle then the partner must also want the same. Otherwise going to.be problems. Like TOS2 there.

If your partner not frugal person, then yes problematic. If partner frugal then no problem.

I exclude EPF cause it's kind of useless as it's not liquid and cannot really use it.

Sounds to me like that couple are not sharing and planning their finances together. When both sides keeping their own money and have to contribute for shared expenses, then will feel like money being taken away from them.. especially hard for frugal people.

If all money earned as a couple goes into one account first,  then that gets divided into what needs to be paid. Most of this arguments won't happen because the money allocation has been discussed and planned for.

Its ok to have different thoughts of frugality, our brother Ramjade for example; is quite extreme. Even between me and my wife, I'm the more frugal person even though I spend on selected things.

What is important is that the financial distribution and allocation is discussed as a single unit. Ensuring the priorities of everyone involved is met, including no-questions-asked spendings.

Your method works because you and your wife came to an understanding, but it still leaves you open to some problems because both sides still prioritize themselves first and then only share the remainder.

In a marriage, it should no longer be "you" and "me". It is "us".

Financial planning should reflect that. If you can move your planning into that direction, I would strongly recommend it.

Its not like you can't have independant spending, my wife and I give ourselves an amount for personal spending; whatever we buy in that allocation is up to us and cannot be disputed by either side because all the commitments and responsibilities already accounted for.

1. Somehow they say you weed them out early and yeah. I know from the get go they are frugal or not with how they dress up also.

2. Agreed to that though there was an example of a frugal person but was misguided. I know of a friend, he dated a girl and wanted and hoped the girl to be frugal so he brought her to Suki-Ya for first date. The girl was ok and all at first but few days after the date, the replies were slower. He asked her why. She told him that she felt ok at first but her circle of friends told her that he was being cheap. She felt it was ok but was eaten up by the words that "If a guy can't show you sincerity at first, he won't show you anything after". So she ended up distancing herself from him.

3. If the girl really loves / likes the guy yes and maybe. But if both also dunno each other, coming out on 1st 2nd meet then probably the girl might think the guy is cheap haha. I tried that a few times suggesting cheap cafes for first second dates. End up, most don't wanna go.

4. I think how the parents perceive plays important part. Most of the time, parents got the big say on things related to marriage and they will go excuses like "If a proper wedding also cannot afford, how will you take care of my daughter in the future?".