TOS2 wow time flew, you already got gf and already broke up story leh?

Well, as much as I want to support the frugal ladies, I think it's the same concept as with men: balance is key. Extreme frugality, bordering stinginess or unhealthy habits, will do you no good and it can backfire on you and the relationship. Know when to spend to buy the happiness you seek.

On the other hand, don't lie to yourself if you're not romantically attracted to a 💯-scored person in your checklist. You may not have some items in your checklist, such as looks, but you'll know it when you meet a person long enough whether you will be attracted or not.

Win liao boss, I stopped writing long essays for some time as I can't be bothered In your case, I have much to say but maybe I'll highlight a few important points...
- your family sounds like reasonable people, they're your greatest allies so keep them close to you especially if you agree 💯 with their reasonings whenever you seek their advice/perspective.
- it's over with her and there's a mountain of reasons. I met you so I know what they mean when you described your facial and body figure... But to call you ugly and have the audacity to say nobody will want you, that's downright condescending. You need to stop putting up with such toxic gaslighting, and they need to get a mirror for their fat conceited daughter. Sorry, I don't hold back against a toxic stranger.
- she was milking you dry as fast as she could. Please don't be surprised if she doesn't shed a tear, I am not convinced she likes you much, ...if... at all. Too much shit talking from her and family. All those demands sound very excessive, nevermind your frugality -- it's not normal to buy that much cosmetics and skincare every month! What, yo mamma so fat she uses the whole bottle every week?

Granted, she sounds like someone from another world -- the rich elites. Her parents pamper and fund her extravagant spending, and may them continue for her life because her income clearly doesn't match her habits. You and I are from the normal middle class, it's a world difficult for us to understand, much less tread on. The next time you want to go back crawling to her, just imagine greeting her every hour for the rest of your life.

Now for you to move forward, usually I'd say identify and change what your don't like... in your case, I'd suggest getting a makeover just to make your dating life easier. Unfortunately in dating apps, wnning the initial first impression is important compared to developing romance from a friendship.

Let your hair grow out a bit then go to a professional salon of your (sister's?) choice to get you a new hairstyle. Not sure what can be done with your teeth, but I guess the most basic is to do consistent scaling to keep them clean (I recently learned from my dentist, my habit of picking up black coffee for health reasons is backfiring on my teeth as they stained).

This post has been edited by Takudan: Jul 24 2025, 04:51 PM

You both really lucky to find each other, congratulations! I kenot tahan your level of frugality, my bf and I want our Japan travels and walk 20km a day as we wish... can't wait until we're 50yo or touch wood got disease

Thank you for articulating this better. Getting advices is good, if and only if you resonate with it i.e. it aligns with your core values. It also means you'll take this to heart and apply this for future similar situations -- you learn.

For TOS case, he is new to relationship so I think it's ok to take advices, but be careful not to use the words, "this is wrong because my dad/mom/sis/friend said so", to which an easy retort to that: "am I dating your dad/mom/sis then?" The point is to convey the logical reasoning behind, not who said what.

TOS2 I guess it's TMI when you mentioned their family background involving certain businesses.

If your ex is still reading, then this is my message for you:
Please be assured that I never had any intention from the beginning until now and ever to harm you or anyone in reality. If you felt that you could be identifiable from the divulged information, I did not, will not, share them to anyone else in the future. I hope to be respected the same way so that we can both feel safe in our private lives.

IF you ever want to talk privately, then I'm available on this forum. I will not take back what I say but I'll listen to your side of the stories. I don't think it's fair for what you've said to TOS, just as how you don't find it fair I'm calling you fat. Not nice to be judged by looks, right?