I think better to make a topic and reply to you guys here. Lol.

I just move on if they are not frugal. It's my main non negotiable.

One thing I have learnt is is show them the truth how your life going to be. Tell them what to expect from the first or second meeting. So you don't waste other people time.

Don't be rocked by looks, beauty or hot body even though we are guys. Just stay to what you want in the girl.

It's not wrong if you can afford it. If you can't then just do what you can.

I was surprised the one I was seeing was totally ok with the way I am living.

Good for you 👍🏻
I am getting married soon too. Hahaha... Found one after so long of looking. 2years +. Lol.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 21 2025, 02:49 PM

I think better I post my reply here as it is relevant. You need to sit down and talk to her about finance. Don't push it to the side.

She as your partner should be understanding and acceptable.

If you cannot accept her way of living do not marry her. You will suffer if you marry her.

I wouldn't blame her or you as not many people are willing to do this thing called delayed gratification or they prefer live in the moment (YOLO). Financial stuff is a bitter pill to swallow. Need to face it head on.

A wife can make or break her husband. Something you need to know. Also finance problem is the main issue in most relationship.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 22 2025, 12:26 AM

He go date a china national. Chinese national is very materialistic. Lol. Not to be prejudice but yeah.

Most important is my checklist to be honest. Not easy to score highly on my checklist to be honest.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 22 2025, 12:24 AM

-deleted-

Damn that's long. Later I reply you nicely on the computer. I will reply what I can here on my phone or see la if I manage to reply completely. Hahaha

The first bolded part for me I would consider.

My meeting usually cost like max RM50 for 2 people. Never RM50/person. I don't know what is your criteria that she seems to tick the boxes.

If girls reject me I just move on. When you have been rejected countless time for being boring, not spending, it feels normal. It would surprise me if a girl was ok with the way I lived. That's why I always tell the girls upfront my way of lviing. No overseas holiday, no speding. I am saving and investing aggressively. You cannot have your cake and eat it. I hold on my non negotiable being frugal to utmost priority. If you are not frugal, next. The bolded words need to spend hundreds on makeup and clothing is a big red flag to me. Totally no no for me. I like girls without makeup. The word frugal here as someone told me helps to filter out 90% of girls. It works very well.

Each date/meeting like I said cost me around RM50 each time. As I would try to meet like every 2 weeks. So my expanses didn't suddenly sky rocket. That was when I was also seeing other girls. I never track my expenses as I know roughly I spend as I practice paying myself first and live off whatever money I have after putting them for investment.

People will accuse you of being kimsiap, not living life. So be it. Be thick face as you know you are doing better than those people who are living life. It's ok. Yes girls said they cannot tahan my way of living. I need a girl who can be at my level of living or close to and I am ok to wait.

No need buy new laptop. If you have your research you should have known that Lenovo business laptop the ThinkPad T, P, X1 series is a tank and used laptop will outlive any consumer grade laptop and they are very repairable. That's why nowadays I don't look at those new laptops. I focus on getting second hand Lenovo ThinkPad for my family members if they need a new laptop.

The bolded victoria secret is another red flag. A girl who spends that much on nonsense stuff already automatically don't fit my first non negotiable.criteria of being frugal. Both me and my girl agree valentine day is like commercialise. Lol..We rather spend it on birthday. So we don't celebrate valentine.

Do not buy any ring. Only buy rings if you are getting married. This is what I told my girl. No jewellery and the jewellery we are buying is just our wedding rings.

I told my girl don't spend too much on wedding. Take the money and invest it or go for honeymoon. To which she agree. We wanted to keep the cost as low as possible. No fancy makan. We are taking Indian buffet at RM35-70/person depending on which restaurant we choose.

I don't bother with those soap. I use Nubian heritage and now using Aleppo soap. Natural, nothing in them, a little goes a long way and not very expensive and last very long. Will never use overpriced stuff like body shop as my Nubian heritage and Aleppo soap is in higher quality. No additional chemicals.
https://www.alepposoap.uk/product/aleppo-soap-50-laurel-oil/
This is being frugal. Willing to buy quality stuff.

We talked about her financial situation and she agreed to pay her housing loan with minimum 40%, invest 40% and live off the 20% of her salary. Also only buy when you really need it not because you want it and we agree to invest together with me helping her as I have inspired her to start FIRING.I told her about delayed gratification which she agrees to. Of course once a while have cheat days like makan out at places she likes.

That girl you are seeing she learn that showering gifts mean showing love. So she expect the same. Never blame yourself for being too open and transparent. I am always open a transparent to my girl. I told her if you got problem, let seat down and talk about it figure a way for it. I am 100% open and transparent to my girl. From the first time she meet me, she knows how I live, how I spend, how poor my family is, my future goal, my financial strategies. If she cannot

I always say this a woman and make or break a man. Ask yourself do you see her making your life easier or making it a burden. Then you have your answer. Don't change people. Don't expect them to change. In terms of finance, I think you want to open her eyes by using this calculator.
https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-ca...rest-calculator
Key in how much she spend in every month, put interest rate at 5%p.a (EPF rate) or 10%p.a for S&P500 and put 20 years. Lots of people will be shocked at how much they are losing out. This was how I helped some of my colelgaues. They told me damn painful wei to know that if they just invest that money that is how much they have after 20 years Vs spending it.

I am not you and you are not me. You need to have a firm non negotiable that cannot be shaken. They are called non negotiable for a reason. A girl or guy must check the checklist before you decide if they are your future partner. Also you cannot make it too long.

It's ok if ia girl says no. It's ok if the girl thinks you are ugly.

You really need to start listening to relationship podcast and read some books.

This one taught me a lot.
https://m.soundcloud.com/howtotalktogirls/s...iend-series-1-8

You can see his other podcast here
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-t...ast/id952917216
His podcast mostly for western people but some of it is still applicable.
I followed some of what he said.
Go out meet lots of girls, get rejected lots of time, it's ok, stand firm on your non negotiables.

Also read this book.
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essentia...e/dp/1523504463

Lastly take your time and decide if your future girl is suitable for you based off what I said. Don't make yourself miserable.

Correction I thought still together. Search carefully next time.

My girl told me I am everything she wants. Lol. Someone who don't spend money, can save, think of the future. I was whaaat???? Lol.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 24 2025, 01:22 PM

Minimum 50% savings rate.
Using phones until they are obsolete (banking app no longer support) or dead or too slow
Able to shop second hand, buy pre loved clothing, buy reduce to clear fruits and veges.
Wait for discount to buy things.
Know what is expensive.
No fancy facial, aesthetic treatment or fancy makeup.
No branded items.
Able to choose a RM500 rental Vs a RM1500 rental. This one shows me that she is being frugal even though she damn well can afford the RM1500 place.
Appreciate just walking in parks
Able to eat at kopitiam or economy rice stall.
Able to say no to overseas holiday to save up for the future.
No Starbucks, mixue, chatime, no netflix.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 22 2025, 04:39 PM

We always walk after meal. Yes we walk in Aircon, we walk outdoor but underneath trees. So yes we did walk at 37C lol.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 22 2025, 08:15 PM

Go out talk to girls and guys, you will see all kind of people.

There is a fine line between frugal and stingy. Being frugal means you are able to pay more for quality items. I don't know how to differentiate stingy and fungal until one girl pointed out to me.

I don't want Chinese educated girls as my furure wife. I want they are like in their own world. Men must be provider. If you cannot be the provider you fail already lo. That is my believe.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 23 2025, 07:05 AM

Like I said have a list of non negotiable. Abide by those list. Do not accept her if she didn't fulfil your non negotiable.

That's what I did. I make sure the girl fulfilled my checklist. Being fungal is my number one priority.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 23 2025, 02:39 PM

I have deleted your post as per request. Won't delete my replies

Do test. Tell the girl no overseas trip, no high class meal, if she can buy reduce to clear fruits and vege or second hand item. That's how know you know you got a good girl.

Do simple dates like walking in parks. Don't to very extravagant dates. Girls which dump you because no expensive dates or expensive gift are a blessing.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 25 2025, 06:21 PM

Exception maybe honeymoon use wedding expenses to earn miles. After that likely no overseas trip until FIRE. We both agreed for delayed gratification. Being FIRE is more important to use than spending money.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 26 2025, 06:02 PM

I am LEAN FIRE. We aim for FAT FIRE.

By 45 by calculation. But if lucky by 40.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 26 2025, 09:47 PM

That's why I am doing anti aging things as well. Don't depend on private sector. Malaysian health care is not geared for preventive.

Simple stuff like fasting, strength training, infra red radiation, proper supplement (vitamin D3 with K2, magnesium, fish oil, astaxanthin, broccoli extract, high dose nattokinase etc), good sleep, high temp shower (mimic sauna), minimum carbs, take lots of berries and purple food, high vege and fiber diet (min 70% per meal) high polyphenol extra virgin olive oil are what I am doing currently.

If you have the money spend it on health. Do not compromise your health over money.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 28 2025, 05:06 PM

If your partner not frugal person, then yes problematic. If partner frugal then no problem.

I exclude EPF cause it's kind of useless as it's not liquid and cannot really use it.

Very true. That's why I filter out girls based off frugality and if girls reject me for my stand, so be it.

I cannot compromise on girls who are not frugal. Luckily my girl is very supportive and want to join my journey.

Can depends on your pay, commitment and spending. How I know, I count my girl finance. Even with her housing loan which I am telling her to pay 40% of her takehome pay (pay more of the loan than mine payment) to it and she agreed, she still got like at least 30% savings.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 30 2025, 07:09 AM

I don't do properties or intend to own properties as
1. You pay lots of tax. I prefer to be tax free or pay as much minimum tax as possible. I tend to pay zero tax except for maybe car tax and tax for my parents. That's all. Zero income tax.
2. Having a property means you are locking substantial amount of your money in ringgit which is a bad idea as it is a depreciation currency.

Never sacrifice your health. For me, I buy and shipped lots of wild blue berries and other black/purple berries and high quality Japanese green tea from overseas as buying form Malaysia means paying extra 200-500% more. This is willing to pay for your health.

I am not interested in being in a WhatsApp group. Sorry.

Few way I can think of are
1. Pay only RM40 for phone bill Vs paying few hundred for phone bill
2. Buying reduce to clear stuff as majority of them are still in very good.
3. Buying the same food when they are offering 50% discount as it is the end of the day.
4. Using a RM10 ugly shoes that last for like 1y+ Vs fancy shoes paying few hundred.
5. Using budget airline vs normal economy, business or first class even though can afford economy.
6. Know when is something is expensive
7. Buying bulk to save cost.

I only know LEAN and FAT FIRE.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 31 2025, 10:04 PM

Why would you want to retain wealth in ringgit when you can do it with other better currencies?

You buy say RM500k of property in Malaysia will not retain your wealth as much as RM500k in Singapore banks. When you invest in properties especially for rental you have to income tax, all kind of taxes. I don't get that with overseas stocks

Yes she agreed. Continue staying parents house.

That's why be healthy. That is why I focus a lot on healthcare prevention.There are ways to be healthy and continue to enjoy life Vs enjoying health and eat so call "atas food".