Title: My clingy long-distance girlfriend asks if I talk to others when I'm busy —



what should I do?

Hey everyone, I’m in a long-distance relationship with a girlfriend who’s emotionally dependent.



She needs constant communication and attention. I’ve been trying my best to chat with her every day, even during off work hours when I’m really busy.





I actually need to sleep at 8:00 PM every day because I have to wake up at 4:50 AM.

But sometimes I end up sleeping at 11:00 PM after chit-chatting with her, so I only get 6 hours of sleep or less.






But sometimes, when I don’t reply quickly or miss a day, she’ll ask me things like, “Did you go chat with someone else?”


I often change the passwords for the social apps we use to avoid chatting with her, but sometimes I can’t control myself.


I end up pressing “forgot password” and then use my reset password to log in again so I can keep chatting.


I know she’s insecure and just wants reassurance, but it adds pressure on me emotionally.

I’m wondering — would it be okay if I only message her every 2 or 3 days during busy workweeks, as long as I still show I care?



Or would that make things worse between us?

I care about her, but I also don’t want to feel guilty for focusing on work. She says she loves me, but sometimes I feel like the trust isn’t solid.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?


How do you manage a clingy partner in a long-distance relationship when your schedule is tight?

Any advice would really help. Thanks.

This post has been edited by plouffle0789: Jun 24 2025, 06:06 AM

No need complicated from my experience doesn't matter got work to do or not if you really into it just take annual leave and company can't say no to u .

Go fly/ visit her, convince her parents you love her, piap and happy ending and journey continue

If parents and daughter you failed to convince end the relationship and move on .

Last time you success?

If you never meet her in real life.
I mean see her in person not stupid video call. lame voice talk.

100% your "gf" is a scammer somewhere.

Just a friendly reminder.

I experienced a somewhat similar situation. But mine is physically meet up every night. Meet until 12-1am. Wake up the next day at 6:30am. So still ok.

Your gf feel insecure due to her character? or due to some current situation? or some past trauma? These situations cannot be looked at in isolation.

LDRs only work when there's constant communication between both parties. Having a clingy gf who needs to hear from u 24/7 won't make this rship any easier. It also seems like she has anxious attachment style. The more u push her away, the more clingy she can be.

If u have sat her down n had an honest discussion with her abt the importance of yr job n that u're still into her even though u seldom text her but she still doesn't understand, then I don't see this rship going anywhere. It' only works if she stops being clingy by making herself busy like getting new hobbies or u find another job.

Without understanding more context and some background of your LDR/GF, it is reckless to provide input here.

For now, I would say if it is like this now, you can expect it to get worse later.

success and also with fail nothing wrong or right at the end.

Try liao better than doing nothing.

have you met her in person before?

For LDR to work you need to know her at least 1 year before you guys go for LDR

Also you need a long term plan, what is the end game?

are any of you planning to link up after some time ?

So who is the one in overseas? you or her ?

If there are no plans to link up in future, to live together, please forget about LDR

its too much hassle lah.

Change gf la

This relationship won't last

expect she will initiate break up from you , at the end you gave up.

if don't have future plan, just let it go and get new gf.

I at overseas.

But distance just 100km

Just let her know you are not year year 18 yo, but outside full of 18 yo girl!

Boss, work hard!

Money = Freedom

singapore?

Yes

you can't change a partner who is prone to anxious
It gets tiring at some point
I would say build your own value
move up yourself so that you can attract a better partner

It's like same with family members
If you can't discard them, stay with them while moving up your capability. When they saw your value, hopefully some day they may change

rely on yourself, don't hope someone would change for you completely

🏗️ CIQ/RTS Area Property Outlook (mystery Personal Evaluation)

No.	**Aspect**	**Details**
-----	------------------	-------------
1	**Supply**	1. Estimated **20k–30k units** coming to market near JB CIQ/RTS by **2026–2028**. <br>2. Does **not include** projects in wider JB metro and Second Link custom areas.
2	**Demand**	1. Need **additional tenants** to absorb incoming supply. <br>2. Possible sources:<br>;• **New jobs** created in SG<br>• **SG-based renters** relocating to JB
3	**Rental Upside**	1. Most tenants are **blue-collar, retail, F&B, service sector** workers. <br>2. **Rental ceiling** due to affordability. <br>3. **Higher-income workers/families** prefer landed homes further from JB CIQ. <br>4. CIQ not ideal for **family living**. <br>5. **Unclear** if higher-income group will shift to JB CIQ. <br>6. If rent too high, **singles might prefer to stay in SG**.
4	**Other Factors**	1. Influenced by **SG rental market trends**. <br>2. Impact from **SGD/MYR exchange rate**. <br>3. **RTS capacity** of 10,000 passengers/hour is helpful but **not a full game changer**. <br>4. Needs strong **transport & infrastructure support** to truly drive relocation to JB custom area.

👏 Very sharp observations — well structured and practical.
🙏 Thanks a lot for sharing this excellent market insight!

**Group**	**Living in SG HDB**	**Living in JB Condo**
**Singles Malaysian**	1. Close to workplace – saves time and energy<br>2. No daily immigration hassle<br>3. Easier social life and convenience	1. Much cheaper rent<br>2. Willing to endure long commute for savings<br>3. May benefit from RTS link once ready
**Families (Malaysian) *	1. Kids’ schools, healthcare, and daily routines are in SG<br>2. Avoid long travel with children<br>3. But cost of living is high	1. Larger space for kids at lower cost<br>2. Better quality of life if working parents can manage the travel<br>3. Usually prefer landed homes over condos

This post has been edited by plouffle0789: Jun 25 2025, 05:49 AM

what is your long term plan with her?

is she moving to singapore to be with you?

Need to wait 3 years at least


Wait until Jan 2029

so long.

must be torture for her to wait so long for you

No choice

She still studying

do u plan to have kids? sperm health might be an issue when u approach 45-50. not as bad as middle-aged woman but it's there

why i bring this up is, time is on her side (to wait). yours might run out a bit faster

This post has been edited by Medufsaid: Jun 25 2025, 05:26 PM

No plan

I am not a relationship expert... but it sounds like she is really pretty... And pretty girls tend to see the worst of emotions and character from men (which is why they are crazy)...

So, when you tend to go out or go missing for a period, her vibes would instantaneously assume that you are talking to some other girls...

This post has been edited by Hastebreak: Jun 26 2025, 12:40 AM

This is your inner voice?

No so terrible

This one is jail and police

her studies will be affected.

Now she sleep at 1am

Last time she sleep at 5am


Sure result will be better

5pm-8pm u take 3 hours to eat dinner and bath?

Normally play phone 1 hour - 1 hours 30 minutes....

But now I have more dicipline

you clearly unable to provide her the emotional security and needs which she needs
better u let other man fulfill her emotionally, spiritually and physically

Now it is ok...

I offline at 8.30pm


Said goodnight to her..she happy

Both of you macam still in high school. LDR requires communication. From the sound of it, you guys are not meeting at the middle ground. She seems like need to talk to you for 2-3 hours straight while you only wanna talk to her for 2-3 days once. Either way it's not gonna work. I would suggest keeping the communication constant but can be more sparse. She has to adjust to not getting constant attention while you have to figure out what's priority to you to squeeze that few minutes t oreply every now and then. You can play phone for 1 to 2hours but cannot reply her, this shows as much though.

**Point**	**Original Meaning**	**Simplified English Version**	✅ Included?
---------------------------------------	--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------	----------------------------------------------------------------------	-------------
Legal Reference	Section 375(g) of the Penal Code	Section 375(g) of the Penal Code	✅
Definition of Statutory Rape	Sex with girl under 16 is rape, even with consent	If a man has sex with a girl under 16, even if she agrees, it's rape	✅
Reason Behind the Law	Girls under 16 lack mental maturity to consent	Girls under 16 are not mature enough to give real consent	✅
Purpose of the Law	To protect children from sexual abuse and exploitation	The law is to protect them from abuse	✅
Consent is Not Valid Below 16	Her agreement is legally invalid	Even if she says yes, it doesn’t count	✅
Adult Bears Legal Responsibility	The adult is responsible for not engaging in sex with a minor	The adult is responsible, not the child	✅

# Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 (Malaysia)

**Section**	**Content**	**Key Points / Punishment**
-------------	----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------	---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Section 2	Definition of "child"	A child is anyone **under 18 years old**
Section 20	No defense based on believing victim is over 18	❌ Cannot use "I thought the victim was 18" as an excuse, unless all reasonable checks done
—	General provision	**Luring** anyone under 18 with sexual intent is a **criminal offence**
Section 11	Sexual communication with a child	❌ Up to **3 years jail**<br>✅ Excludes valid **sex ed / science / medical** communication
Section 12(1)	Grooming a child for the purpose of committing an offence	❌ Up to **5 years jail** and **whipping**
Section 13	Arranging to meet a child after sexual communication for criminal purpose	❌ Up to **10 years jail** and **whipping**

**What is happening**	**Under 16**	**16–17 years old**	**18 and above**
----------------------------------------	-----------------------------	----------------------------------	-------------------------------
✅ Sex with agreement	❌ Not allowed (rape)	✅ Allowed if both agree	✅ Allowed
💬 Talking about sex (messages, chat)	❌ Not allowed	❌ Not allowed	✅ Allowed (if not abusive)
🎣 Luring or grooming for sex	❌ Not allowed	❌ Not allowed	✅ Allowed (if both agree)
🤝 Meet after sexual messages	❌ Not allowed	❌ Not allowed	✅ Allowed (if both agree)
👶 Is this person a “child” in law?	✅ Yes (under 18)	✅ Yes (still under 18)	❌ No
⚖️ Can they agree to sex by law?	❌ No (too young)	✅ Yes (age of consent is 16)	✅ Yes

Do Section 375 of the Penal Code (statutory rape) and
the Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 conflict?




No, they do not conflict; instead, they complement each other.

Section 375 (g) of the Penal Code specifically addresses statutory rape, meaning:

— A man who has sexual intercourse with a girl under 16 commits statutory rape, regardless of consent.

The Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 is broader and covers:

— Sexual communication, grooming, luring, and arranging meetings with anyone under 18 for sexual purposes.

— It criminalizes many behaviors that are not limited to intercourse, and it covers victims up to 18 years old.



---

Summary:

Law Focus Age Limit Main Coverage

Section 375(g), Penal Code Statutory rape (sexual intercourse) Under 16 years Sex with girl under 16, consent irrelevant


Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 Child sexual offences (broader) Under 18 years Grooming, communication, luring, meeting, etc.


They work together to protect minors from different types of sexual exploitation:

Penal Code sets the minimum age for legal sexual consent at 16.

The 2017 Act extends protections up to age 18 for other sexual offences beyond intercourse.

This post has been edited by plouffle0789: Jul 10 2025, 08:09 AM

So insecure

I worry she's the one doing that

how old of you?

how old are u TS?
understand that your girlfriend is underage, which checks out with her behavior of clingy-ness or requires constant reassurance and emotional security.

it's hard to maintain a LDR, i know. i speak from my own experience, but the difference is, i got sick and tired of the LDR and end up marrying her lol.

i believe you heard of the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder"? Age does not apply to this. it's human nature to want to be close to our loved ones.

since the circumstance is where u both have to be apart due to ur career, both of u need to have a heart to heart talk about the matter, come up with a long term game plan and share with her. u're the man, so come up with the plan. communication is key to any successful relationship be it from aquaintences to spouse.

u mentioned u spend about 1 hour ish daily to play with your phone? why not use that time just to catch up with her on her daily life and and share with her about your day as well? just simple communication. i believe all she wants is to be part of your life, knowing what happened to u today, what u ate today? whom have you met and any problems with your work today..... just keep her posted and share with her, that would make her feel she is there even though she's not , u get what i'm saying?

to be in a relationship, it means sacrifices and compromises. if u are not ready for that, then my friend, u're not ready for a relationship

How many years difference between you and your wife?

7 years difference. but that was in the past. we're divorced now

My one more than 12 years wor

Hope things are better now. Else I cannot see how you guys are going to survive each other. Especially when yoiu enter your 40s and 50s.

Congratz man

I would do that too

It shows that we are serious with her


TS needs to work on that

I used to chat with my gf as early as dawn till 11 pm

Yup.
Lots of sacrifices
Particularly time.
Always chatting with her
Either text or calls.


This post has been edited by Chastain: Oct 3 2025, 02:49 PM

I am also not sure


Hope 3 more years come faster


And i plan no children better


Difficult if got children

enjoy this time man. it's really different from girlfriend to spouse. a lot of changes in expectations. and girlfriend/boyfriend stage is where u lay the foundation of trust and ground for each other....

rushing into it just simply means when u guys are in the next level together, u will bump into more unpleasant surprises later on

Your gf might have anxious attachment. Please look this up.

I was extremely anxious and clingy for the first 6 - 8 months in our LDR. At that time I failed to communicate my needs to him. Then I became more passive aggressive because my needs weren't met. At one point he said we might be not compatible with each other, etc etc because of my communication style so I did some reading on my attachment and try to self soothe. It worked eventually (took some time) and I no longer felt the need to get reassurance from him from time to time.

We broke up anyway but that was another story. I just feel that we have to self soothe ourselves. We cannot rely on our partner to get better. For example, if you are depressed please go to therapist rather than emotionally dumping on your partner.

This is the issue with LDR - you guys need constant communication. The moment communication slows down or changes, either one of the parties will suspect the other is seeing someone else. Because you guys are not together in person like that, hence having that line of thought. I've been there before in a similar situation and it certainly didn't feel good. It did put me off social media for a few months because I kept getting anxiety from the entire situation.

Best find a relationship that isn't LDR. One where you guys can meet at least 1-2x a week.

She feels insecure and has no trust. From an outsider’s perspective, it seems better to just break up and move on, but in reality it’s not that easy, especially when so many things are affected.