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 My clingy long-distance girlfriend asks if I talk, to others when I'm busy

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pillage2001
post Oct 3 2025, 02:22 PM

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QUOTE(plouffle0789 @ Oct 3 2025, 12:34 PM)
My one more than 12 years wor
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Hope things are better now. Else I cannot see how you guys are going to survive each other. Especially when yoiu enter your 40s and 50s.
Chastain
post Oct 3 2025, 02:45 PM

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QUOTE(calvinteh @ Oct 3 2025, 09:35 AM)
how old are u TS?
understand that your girlfriend is underage, which checks out with her behavior of clingy-ness or requires constant reassurance and emotional security.

it's hard to maintain a LDR, i know. i speak from my own experience, but the difference is, i got sick and tired of the LDR and end up marrying her lol.

i believe you heard of the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder"? Age does not apply to this. it's human nature to want to be close to our loved ones.

since the circumstance is where u both have to be apart due to ur career, both of u need to have a heart to heart talk about the matter, come up with a long term game plan and share with her. u're the man, so come up with the plan. communication is key to any successful relationship be it from aquaintences to spouse.

u mentioned u spend about 1 hour ish daily to play with your phone? why not use that time just to catch up with her on her daily life and and share with her about your day as well? just simple communication. i believe all she wants is to be part of your life, knowing what happened to u today, what u ate today? whom have you met and any problems with your work today..... just keep her posted and share with her, that would make her feel she is there even though she's not , u get what i'm saying?

to be in a relationship, it means sacrifices and compromises. if u are not ready for that, then my friend, u're not ready for a relationship
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Congratz man thumbup.gif

I would do that too

It shows that we are serious with her


TS needs to work on that

I used to chat with my gf as early as dawn till 11 pm

Yup.
Lots of sacrifices
Particularly time.
Always chatting with her
Either text or calls.


This post has been edited by Chastain: Oct 3 2025, 02:49 PM
TSplouffle0789
post Oct 3 2025, 02:46 PM

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QUOTE(pillage2001 @ Oct 3 2025, 02:22 PM)
Hope things are better now. Else I cannot see how you guys are going to survive each other. Especially when yoiu enter your 40s and 50s.
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I am also not sure


Hope 3 more years come faster


And i plan no children better


Difficult if got children
calvinteh
post Oct 3 2025, 03:18 PM

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QUOTE(plouffle0789 @ Oct 3 2025, 02:46 PM)
I am also not sure
Hope 3 more years come faster
And i plan no children better
Difficult if got children
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enjoy this time man. it's really different from girlfriend to spouse. a lot of changes in expectations. and girlfriend/boyfriend stage is where u lay the foundation of trust and ground for each other....

rushing into it just simply means when u guys are in the next level together, u will bump into more unpleasant surprises later on
kawa_e
post Oct 7 2025, 01:16 PM

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Your gf might have anxious attachment. Please look this up.

I was extremely anxious and clingy for the first 6 - 8 months in our LDR. At that time I failed to communicate my needs to him. Then I became more passive aggressive because my needs weren't met. At one point he said we might be not compatible with each other, etc etc because of my communication style so I did some reading on my attachment and try to self soothe. It worked eventually (took some time) and I no longer felt the need to get reassurance from him from time to time.

We broke up anyway but that was another story. I just feel that we have to self soothe ourselves. We cannot rely on our partner to get better. For example, if you are depressed please go to therapist rather than emotionally dumping on your partner.
Redshelf411
post Oct 18 2025, 09:47 AM

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This is the issue with LDR - you guys need constant communication. The moment communication slows down or changes, either one of the parties will suspect the other is seeing someone else. Because you guys are not together in person like that, hence having that line of thought. I've been there before in a similar situation and it certainly didn't feel good. It did put me off social media for a few months because I kept getting anxiety from the entire situation.

Best find a relationship that isn't LDR. One where you guys can meet at least 1-2x a week.
cactus_
post Oct 18 2025, 05:36 PM

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She feels insecure and has no trust. From an outsider’s perspective, it seems better to just break up and move on, but in reality it’s not that easy, especially when so many things are affected.

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