I'm also like you on the points above but i've made some changes in my life. During the chats before the first meet up, see if you can align the major life values and what both are looking from the chat.

Like many pointed out on the first date, he could be nervous (and you may be), so if there is something unique you see in him, give it 1-3 dates to gauge.

On the point that he is chatting with another girl, nothing is wrong until the exclusivity topic is brought up (a few dates later). Both are still strangers on the first date.

Asking him to be friends, is a clear sign you're not interested, so naturally he will just agree and it ends there.