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 To stay or to go?

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nihility
post May 30 2025, 05:55 PM

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The past? It’s done. Nothing you can do about it.

Now look at the present — is she sincere?

If you’re putting in 100%, gauge how much she’s actually investing in this relationship.

Is it 33% to her ex?
33% to her abang angkat?
And whatever scraps are left — that’s for you?

You only need to send one clear signal — and it’s not through words, it’s through action.

If she can’t cut the others off, she’s not choosing you — she’s just managing options.
No one serious about you keeps backup plans.

She says she talked to her mother about marriage — and just like that, you’re controlled?
Marriage isn’t her call alone. If she hasn’t shown real reform, stability, or the mindset to be a wife — why would you marry her?

Set an internal deadline.
Once it’s due — and she’s still not fully committed — walk away.

Sometimes, when people are making bad life decisions, cutting them off ruthlessly is the kindest thing you can do.
Otherwise, they’ll never learn their lesson.
nihility
post May 31 2025, 11:02 AM

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QUOTE(R0ADTAX @ May 31 2025, 08:10 AM)
There was no blackmail involved (probably), as it was only one time and the only time it happened

As for the abang angkat, I did ask her to bring me as well, but the abang angkat does not allow (lol), the meeting taking place at night as well (tf)

She did cut off all ties with guys completely but for the future I am not so certain what will happen, hence the big question mark, will anyone threaten her to leak stuff about her? And if so and so happened, should I break away or should I stay with my face on the mud?
Noted with thanks...
I do believe I can say that she's a changed person after all those 3 instances happened as she cut off ties with guys, I did set my boundaries about guys, but for the future is unknown as in the next 3 months we will be on long-distance-relationship

It';s true that the past is done, nothing I can do about it but her past kept lurking in like a pack of snakes, not fun and mentally challenging as well to confront

but I'll do take note on your advice, thanks
I do feel like your response is kinda AI-generated, sorry but

1 guy she said she had forgotten she had offered her help (kinda BS reason actually)
2 guy bcos she wanted to meet for the first time as they only chat online be4
3 bcos she wanna hang out with many friends

there was no sign of blackmail, but I am not yet prepared when that day come, what can I do? Break away or help her as my face goes into the mud for dating a girl with high BC?
*
The Chinese idiom - “If ‘what if’ could change fate, the streets would be empty of beggars.”. If there were a way to change the past, I believe all the sorrow and sadness in this world could be erased.

The change -is it born from genuine inner reform?

Or is it merely driven by fear?

Fear of hurting you?
Fear of your scolding?
Fear of you walking away?

Or perhaps it's motivated by reward - the benefit of staying on your good side?

Each of these comes from a different quality of love. And each carries a different weight of sincerity. No one else can answer this for you. This is where your own discernment matters - to see what cannot be seen with the eye.

If that feels too difficult, then just follow the trail of the outcome. Actions never lie. That will reveal the person’s true intention.
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