You sound like you’re being emotionally manipulated and gaslighted by someone who knows exactly how to play the “sweet, misunderstood victim” card.

Let’s break it down:

She pursued you, came off as the “perfect girlfriend”, made you feel safe, wanted, and chosen. She talked about settling down and marriage although you didn't have such thoughts yet. Then, it was only after you asked about her past that she slowly started revealing parts of it. She didn’t come clean voluntarily. She trickled the truth, revealing only what she had to when you questioned her.

Then came the real problem. She kept doing things behind your back with other men, testing your trust again and again. And every time she crossed a line, she either minimised it, lied, or begged for your understanding.

That’s not accountability.
That’s damage control.

You're an easy catch for her because you want to believe the best. You’ve created this image of her as the “ideal girlfriend” or “future wife”, and now you're fighting against reality to protect that fantasy. But deep down, you feel something’s off, and it’s eating at you.

She knows this. She knows you’ll keep giving her chances. So she gives you just enough sincerity to reel you back in, while never truly respecting your boundaries. This isn’t growth. It’s manipulation with a smile.

If she were serious about change, you wouldn’t be discovering truths months later. You wouldn’t feel confused, conflicted, or like the villain every time you react to being lied to.

This isn’t love. It’s a loop of guilt, hope, and control, dressed up in “good girl” behaviour. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, slowly eroding your peace of mind.

So here’s the hard question:
Do you want to spend your future constantly questioning the woman beside you?
Or do you want a relationship where you don’t have to play detective, therapist, or emotional bodyguard just to keep things stable?

Now think long-term:
If your family (and especially your future children) found out what kind of woman you chose as your wife/their mother… would you feel proud?
Or would you regret letting your standards bend this far?

It’s not that people don’t deserve second chances. But she hasn’t shown she’s earned one yet. She's just using you.

You deserve honesty. You deserve trust. And you deserve a truly loyal partner.
You want a woman who’s honest with you, respects your boundaries, and considers your feelings without needing to be reminded.

Right now, she isn’t that woman—and she may never be.
She’s still too entangled in her past and her connections with other men to offer you the kind of pure, intentional love you deserve.