Sorry to hear that she badmouthed you, that makes the post breakup even more sour than it should be. If you find your workplace too toxic with her around then consider changing job to leave that toxicity behind. That said, it's also a good lesson for you not to shit where you eat next time.

I think there are some takeaways to her points:
1. Support
Asian culture as I know it has a bad habit of "holding back", and I think it's much more prevalent in women, hence the Chinese proverb "mouth yes, heart no". It's possible she didn't want to trouble you for coming all the way to care for her so she initially refuses, but secretly wished for you to insist and surprise her. I have heard some people who would say, "you should always hold back the first time one asks, and accept only when they ask a second time. If they don't ask twice then they weren't keen in the first place!"
Personally, I hold back too but my bf often insisted, and that made me happy. Otherwise, I also tell myself that it is not his fault if he doesn't insist because I'm the one who said so, so my disappointment is self inflicted. Everyone will have days they want their own time, days they want someone to pamper/care for them, so as a couple, it's a learning curve to understand when those days are.

2. Learn to argue
Misunderstanding your partner's emotion is common and that's where argument ensues... If you never argued about it before then something's wrong. If you argued before but didn't understand each other better after, then something's wrong too.

3. Talk
This is very closely related to 2, but yeah, problems should not be swept under the rug. Since she's the one who initiated the breakup, I think she had more she kept to herself. It's too late for you to understand what they were, but this can be a lesson for you to perhaps check in with your future partner in how "we" are doing so far, typically a private conversation e.g. while you 2 are driving somewhere.

"mouth no, heart yes" i kena roll until upside down many times liao.  
working in computer field, my mind able to process quickly yes and no, yes or no, yes nor no. options.
maybe need to upgrade a.i. deekseek level.

another thing about argue is, various invalid excuses.
dont argue, in return blaming for "cold violence"

i think the advise is great, especially coming from a girl.

for #1, normally i will insist but she will insist even further. i remember there was a time when she was pretty sick, i wanted to take her to doctor but she said no... then i said maybe i send meds to you, she said no because she said she is too weak to come down. then i used grab to send the meds over and left it at the lobby so she can pick up when she feels better. but she gets upset, saying i dont respect her and only insist doing what i want. i felt pretty sad.

#2 & #3, i admit i really lack of communication and understanding towards her feelings and thoughts. i dont realize them until after break up where i recollected back everything then i realized i have a lot more to improve but like you said, it is too late. it really sadden me when we broke up and only that time i realized how much i have left her alone in her thoughts... when we first together, i promised to treat her better but it seems i have failed on that part. if there is a take 2, i wont leave her alone in her own thoughts and would try to understand her more instead and be in her shoes.

Why my ex still can laugh so loud in front of people after break up with me? And im the one sitting there quiet and sad. I feel im useless as a guy. Or she never love me before and treated like i never exist?

Coz she is the one that break up with u, thats why.

I remember my first love..We were a couple.in college. We planned to go to same uni and both of us got in. But b4 we started uni, she asked for breakup. I was heartbroken.

First year uni was especially hard, as I saw her nearly everyday. We had the same classes mostly.. She was a very popular girl with many friends. Later in first year, she got a BF. That made life even more miserable.

It was only in second year that I started recovery and only in my third started dating again, but even then didnt find anyone that can compare to her. But slowly slowly I was able to love again.

I experienced a few more heartbreaks since then, but none were as painful as the first and I was able to bounce back pretty fast.

I also broke some hearts, and I do feel shitty about it but thats life.

No grudges and no regrets. All part of living.

i guess some of you here are correct - i suspect she could have been emotionally cheating on me even we were still together.

i guess some of you here are correct - i suspect she could have been emotionally cheating on me even we were still together.

Sounds like you heard some news. Suppose it's true, then it makes it easier for you to move on because she was simply not the one for you. Congratulations you don't have to suffer for 13 years lol.

I see this kinda of things happen to quiet guys like me. I don't know if it happens to extrovert guys. May introverted guys are sensitive like you and me