if you've already a retirement number to achieve and lowering down that number would cause lower quality of lifestyle, then can try show it to her and let her know that you guys are living on future money..

Personally if you have a solid plan for financial freedom or comfortable living, good to just stick to it if you can and dont let that go. Wife's who does not understand you or crave for excitement always at the expense of future, nothing is tying them up with you as they can leave you for someone else with the reason that you don't make enough to support their lifestyle + cant make them happy.

You might end up losing her and your future retirement.

Again no harm trying to talk sense with your wife first... show some calculations in figures...

1st rule is never tell people your actual salary... always report less... to everyone else around you even your close ones... at least the differences can be saved for your ownself for use or silent investments..