OK to cut story short.

First, I am a guy that has been looking for a partner through multiple platforms whether dating apps or real life meeting people etc.

This is a very common occurrence for me (it happened like 5-6 times out of the 8 girls that peeked my interest) where at first when we know each other, the conversation, the texting is very smooth, we both were very participative in our communication where I will ask her preferences, she will ask me back etc.

This could last like maybe days or a week or two.

Then suddenly the momentum changed, she started to not read / reply (not sure if she read cause she has blue tick off) and for the first 1 or 2, I did try and double text and the reply that came are very dry. Those after that which I did not push on never replied me after, even those that we actually bump to each other for real made it like nothing happened.

What the heck actually happened here though? I feel quite frustrated with this kind of behaviour like, if you didn't intend to like even be friends, why string me along?

Also, I think even at my age and my so many failed experiences atm, I do not know if the girl is really vibing with me or she just being friendly. Though, it doesn't make much sense for both to suddenly ghost me like this, so I wonder what went wrong.

NOTE: I was just playing along the conversation and did not show any signs of desperation or aggression before they ghosted me and the conversations were very smooth.

Why This Happens:
-Early Excitement Drops: Initial interest can fade once they realize they’re not fully compatible or ready for a deeper connection.
-Parallel Conversations: Many people chat with multiple matches and may shift focus if someone else stands out more.
-Avoiding Direct Rejection: Ghosting often feels easier for them than explaining a loss of interest.
-Quick Compatibility Checks: Some people dive in fast, but back off once they realize the fit isn’t there.
-Friendliness vs. Romantic Interest: It’s tough to tell if someone’s just polite or genuinely interested at first.

How to Move Forward:
-Don’t Take Ghosting Personally: It’s usually more about them than it is about you.
-Look for Patterns: Consistent interest and engagement over time is a better sign of genuine interest.
-Ask Directly if the Momentum Shifts: A light question like, “Are you still interested in chatting?” can clear things up without adding pressure.
-Prioritize In-Person Connections: Meeting face-to-face can clarify chemistry better than texting.

Figuring Out If They’re Vibing or Just Friendly
This is tricky! Look for signs like:
-Consistent communication over time
-Asking personal or thoughtful questions about your life, not just surface-level chatting
-Showing genuine excitement to meet up or take things off the app
-Making an effort to connect emotionally, not just on common interests but deeper values and goals

It's natural to feel frustrated, but remember, this is part of the process. The right connection often builds at a sustainable pace, without these hot-and-cold patterns. It sounds like you're being thoughtful about how you approach people, so hang in there! This experience is building a good foundation for when you meet someone who truly matches your energy.

-ChatGPT-

Seems like TS need to subscribe to ChatGPT also after this.

Use instagram la. comment on their updates instead. texting can go boring after awhile.

Tough to get partner from dating apps. All they want is to swipe 100 dudes and narrow down to the best candidate. Hence they ghosted you after ahwile of texting when they found a better one. Better join those socials community to get one

most men are undesirable when it comes to initial stage of meeting them. Hence, they're the one who screens very hard, work on your value as a man.

bcos u ask too many questions, ppl get bored lo

Did you ask these girls out?

Dont drag the texting too long. Get a first date. Thats the reason for the text. Its not to "get to know" one another.

After the first date, then the second date if there is chemistry, then you score.

It's just the first few days, so fast ask them out? I dunno if it will be too fast or not?

1st... Recently I came across something about the key between an individual's financial habits and status vs. their relationship and marriage, from energies and metaphics point of view....

Believe it or not, it's totally up to personal.

That is to review one's own financial, are there any long pending and lots of unpaid debts whereby one could had made more efforts to repay it consistently until closer to clear.

How is one's financial spending habits and planning... Are there any points that's "stuck" in one's financial...

When stuck points in financial are clear one by one, then one's relationship and married would see lights and greatly improved.

.
2... The inner "vibes " dictates what kinds of potential partner and how they react and interact with the person..

What are the underlying true intentions and thoughts a person have towards the potential match...

Are there enough true respect to the potential match...

Do one put own benefits above all, or would balance the benefits between two persons ...

How does one translate the respect in words and lines to the match...

Etc...

Just my 2 cents.

If your failure rate is so high and consistent, you have no choice but to admit that its something wrong with you.

Based on the way you post here, I'm not surprised your conversations die quickly.

People don’t always know how to end things directly, so they start fading out instead.

Faster is always better. As i said, the purpose of texting at this stage is to get her to go out with you on a date. All these idle chit chats are a waste of time and probably boring to the girl too.

Some girls will not want to go, thats fine and kiv them. Some just want to see if they can get guys to respond to them but are not seriously looking to go out. So its already a good screening. At the very least, you should get her to agree in principle to go out. U can then fix the date later.

If you know her via dating app, then the question should pop up after you get her whatsapp.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 9 2024, 09:05 AM

You're the common denominator here

no kidding since i started reading about your post here i've already been in and out of 2 relationships weh, still struggling ke. not flexing but you need to really look at yourself in the mirror.

at your age, you're very likely low income or very short (older women who want to settle down and have kids see no future with you).

also if youre going after younger girls, you might also be ugly.

how is your hairline, is it straight or what. all white hair or what, have you done braces? straight teeth or smoker black and yellow teeth.

income how much? height?

at this age, cannot blame and keep asking and saying women confusing already. no they aren't. they just want a richer/taller/better looking man. you must also compete, having a job is no longer a sure win ticket to get a wife.
btw texting for 2 weeks is insane weh, by that time she already matched with 20+ guys already, ofc la lose interest.

This post has been edited by YUNG_NIGGA_DRACO: Nov 9 2024, 09:08 AM

low charisma

Not an attractive/ interesting person

Girl can attract guys by her look
Man = personality

Girls are also swayed by looks.

If u are tall, hv good features, nice body..its much easier to date girls.

When you know the girl really isn't responding positively to your "going out" invites, is it time for NEXT? Cause some people told me, if the girl within first few days we chat doesn't agree to go out with you, then I can just find NEXT, she isn't interested.

When u got nothing as a man, you go by looks.

Show your conversation for accurate opinion

A top-tier man will have both. And also the resources to back-up.

thats girl nature

People choose. you were only shortlisted but did not qualified for the job in the end


You choose people, people choose you.
don't tell me you swipe right on land whale.


man up and accept defeat.

Dating app. You might be texting to her while she is texting to multiple men. Among all you fall under the boring one. Imagine 10 people texting you, all asking same questions until one seem to be out of the ordinary. So stop texting with the other 9.

This.

We want the perfect partner, but conveniently think our crush wouldn't do the same.

Einstein said Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

So TS, you got to think to do something different.

It’s frustrating, but it’s likely they just lost interest but didn’t want to be upfront about it.

A lot of good points were made to you TS.

Could be you, could be them getting bored as the conversation is going nowhere.

Listen to some of the advice here and reflect on it.

Judging by the questions you ask, how you ask them and the types of responses you give, I can only deduce that you may not have had a lot of socialising throughout secondary school to uni. That's my guess as to why there are many things about women behaviour that you dont understand.

I think a lot of the women who do that to you "string along" as you see it etc, may have just plainly found you uninteresting after a while.

The solution here is honestly quite simple. Just get more interesting. how do you do that? work on improving yourself, find a new personality. People like to think "i am born this way" and all that nonsense. it's a whole lot of bullcrap. If u dont like who u are today, change it. if u think who u are is not interesting to the types of girls u want, then change urself. grow. learn to find a new character and personality to be.

If u cant do that, then change the types of girls u want.

I cant even chat for the first few hours.

When i match with someone i like, I always start off by complimenting their smile/figure and ask them some general ques, and then lead the topics to drinks, ask them what kind of drinks they like, and then talk about meeting up for dinner and drinks.

Get their whatsapp, pick them up and work from there.

Good luck

This post has been edited by macaionly: Jan 7 2025, 03:10 PM

Bro, you only need this 钞能力.

Its doesn't mean you are ATM! Work hard, play smart!

Example: You need a flash car n home + look smart.

I know few playboy who are staying around KLCC or Mont Kiara area luxury condo + nice car. He never miss girl in life. Changing GF like changing clothes. Basically all free game. Beside that, they know girl. Even, they give me some tips.

No 1. Flash car is very important. Girl always say they rather cry inside a flash car. Serious, this is your car. You dont waste a single cent on her.

No 2. Flash house is very important. Which with sky pool n CBD. Serious, this is your property. Again, you dont waste a single cent on her.

No 3. Flower + Candle Light Dinner + Sweet talk + Join her. Serious, just a bit of investment but not much. Serious, you need food right. How about after food!?

No 4. Girl 101% is dumb.

All tips is from few famous playboy in Klang Valley. One is Petronas staff, Second is chinese herbal medicine chain business owner, Third is Sales Manager from berhad, Forth is Malaysia famous sportman + gangster, Fifth is success business owner (Gangster, Money Game, Drug, Golden Finger++), Sixth is Malaysia Golden Finger++, Seventh is Malaysia local audit firm owner + Berhad MD, Eighth is bank SVP. Fifth n Sixth just recently forget wake up already.

Last, what ever you do please remember what goes around comes around.

This post has been edited by w19: Jan 8 2025, 08:54 AM