QUOTE(MCBFUHO @ Oct 8 2024, 02:29 PM)
Love your sharing, and your courage to share everything.
Question: you mention you only date the top 10% of the good men, I agree and respect your decision. My question is what quality and characteristic one should have to be deemed a good men. I know is a lot but what is the critical ones.
If you asked me the same question when I was in my twenties, I'd define the top 10% of men by their social status, profession, wealth, appearance, personality.
Now... especially after having studied philosophy, my perspectives about men changed in my thirties.
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In Stoicism, there are 4 core pillars, also known as Virtues... that a man should achieve in his whole life:
1. Wisdom: The ability to discern what is good, bad, and indifferent, leading to sound judgment and rational decision-making.
2. Courage: Facing challenges, pain, or fear with strength and perseverance.
3. Justice: Treating others fairly and ensuring that one's actions contribute to the common good.
4. Temperance: Practicing self-discipline and moderation, controlling desires, and maintaining balance in life.
These virtues guide Stoics toward living a virtuous, rational, and content life.
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The purpose for man to practise virtues is... to reach his highest state of mind, heart and body:
areté refers to "virtue" or "excellence," representing the highest moral quality a person can achieve. It's about living in alignment with reason and nature, cultivating wisdom, courage, justice, and self-discipline.
eudaimonia, often translated as "flourishing" or "happiness," is the ultimate goal of life in Stoicism. It is achieved by living a life of virtue (areté), in harmony with reason, and by accepting what we cannot control. Eudaimonia is about inner tranquility and fulfillment rather than external success or pleasure.
logos, which is the rational order of the universe, which Stoics believe should guide human behavior.
dichotomy of control, i.e. focusing only on what we can control (thoughts, actions) and accepting what we cannot.
apatheia, which is freedom from destructive emotions, achieved through rational thinking and virtue.
Based on how Stoics define, I now look at men this way:
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A modern man who embodies Stoic principles like areté and eudaimonia would have a calm, disciplined, and balanced personality. He would focus on personal growth, wisdom, and justice, making rational decisions even in challenging situations. In his career, he would prioritize ethical behavior, fairness, and contributing to the greater good, all while maintaining emotional control and resilience. His success wouldn’t be defined by external achievements, but by living in accordance with virtue and focusing on what he can control, leading to inner contentment and fulfillment.
To me, such a man is among the top 10%. When a man pursues excellence in all aspects of his life, from career to health to studies to relationship to business etc, yet still maintain balance, harmony and humility, he is definitely a successful man to me--- not by worldly definitions, but by the standards of ancient Greek philosophers who lived with much wisdom in their times.
Stoicism began in the early 3rd century BCE, and has left a legacy for thousands of years. It is, indeed, a timeless treasure for humanity... for man to achieve his best and conquer all areas of his life:
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Marcus Aurelius (121–180 CE) was a Roman Emperor and a prominent Stoic philosopher. He ruled from 161 to 180 CE and is best known for his Meditations, a personal journal reflecting his Stoic beliefs and leadership principles.
His reign was marked by military campaigns defending the Roman Empire, particularly against Germanic tribes. As an emperor, he sought to maintain stability and uphold Roman values. He is also remembered for his profound philosophical work, Meditations, which reflects his Stoic beliefs.
His efforts in balancing leadership with personal virtue and wisdom earned him lasting recognition as one of Rome's "Five Good Emperors."
The present generations of men are lost, because they do not seek enough wisdom nor are they properly guided by their male role models and predecessors. Younger men are often emasculated or softened by p*rn, addictions, substance abuse, media and other influences.
I think, if ancient Stoics were alive today, they'd probably scoff at how soft the modern men had become... compared to their times. Advancement in technology, but regression in humanity.
As a woman, we are still biologically programmed to admire and respect men who take charge of their own lives and lead/inspire us to become better versions of ourselves too. Sadly, not many men can do so... which is why most women choose to stay single nowadays.
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& this is why the new guy is so attractive to me.
He's into another religion, and from years ago, he posted about virtues, kindness, compassion, serve others, do good, conquer self, etc... and he succeeds in a low-profile way with some international fame... and so 'good boy' around women.
Haih. How to find such a man out there? especially when he pursued me first...
I think he's equally attracted to me because our vibes match somehow... I also posted about similar topics + my life stories + some pretty pics, and that probably caught his interest early on.
p.s. Sharing this so that men know how attractive good qualities are to women. I usually don't put so much effort on a man, but... for him, I'm doing extra... and I hope my efforts will be reciprocated...
Oct 8 2024, 04:53 PM
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