Today a friend talked about forgiveness. He said if his partner cheated on him once, he will forgive her but he will leave. He feels that leaving the toxic relationship is a way to forgive a person.

In my argument, it's more to just finding an easy way out of things.

What do you all think? Can you all totally forgive a cheater?

Yes I would, but find it hard to forget.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you love your gf, but you cheated on a hot colleague, can you be forgiven or trusted not to repeat that again? Personally I won’t forgive myself as if I’ve cheated, meaning I didn’t value my girl enough. Vice versa.

Life is short to be calculating so much. Can then move on, Kenot then leave. Less drama more action. U won’t know when is your last day.

Leave is the best solution. Because if you stay in this relationship there will always be this baggage. Eventually this burden will get too heavy to bare.

Each goes their way, next time meet again can still be friends.

This post has been edited by darksideofthemoon: Jul 24 2023, 01:21 AM

if you are a high sex drive person, just have an open serious relationship or marriage. If you have talk out your needs before marriage it will save you a lot of problem future, ie potential sexual dissatisfaction, lack of sex because frequently seeing each other

The main problem most guys cannot accept their girlfriend or wife cheating (emotionally flirting, but mostly physical) because we have fear of potential raising unknown guy's kids. What if your serious gf flirt with guys obviously in front of you? Then you should question why you picked her as main chick.

Cheater also need backup love boy

Just maintain few gf, main gf, backup gf and spare gf.

If they are all turn out just as good, how? How do you decide who to let go? Somebody bound to get hurt . I can't bare to see ladies cry. The guilt will eat you up if you have a conscience.

One at a time....bah.

Forgive then leave the relationship. I am sure its hard to build the trust and will be walking on eggshells later on.

But how you forgive when you already left? It's like you say forgive but you still feel the hurt from the cheating. That's not forgiving.

You have to forgive the person. The forgiveness can come instant or later on. But staying in the relationship is fool hardy. The hurt will always be there, regardless if you have a new gf or partner.

Forgiving is making a mental stand to say this will have minimum impact to your life. If you dont forgive, it will manifest to hate then other issues. Forgive her, forgive yourself, leave the relationship and give space to heal.

Everyone heals differently but will heal in the end. Forgiveness is the first step.

Typical human behaviour, when people hurt you, you wanna hurt back. Sometimes to extremes. And sometimes with regrettable actions. Im sure you dont want that.

The issue is there are lot of people are not equipped to be monogamous either they forced themselves to quickly find a partner ended up cheating (cause they settled for minimum)

they dont know what they want inherently
thats why being a player is crucial. If you dont play the field you will not know who's truly compatible with you. There are also guys who just married their high school (very rare) or college gf after being together for many years, ended up divorce as well. Life is unpredictable

Its bad to follow social conditionings
But if they want to be a sheep, that's fine

I never had a cheater in my life and I never wish I would, if me then I would definitely leave the cheater and no forgiveness for her. I love you for who you are, yet you go messing around with some other dude then expect me to forgive you?

They said forgive but not forget, well I won't give neither to a cheater.

Depends on the reason of the cheat... If it was because he/she have a sex drive that I couldn't satisfy, I think I can forgive. But if it's more emotional (he/she fell in love with the other person), then I'd just have a clean break.

agree, women tie sex with love a lot. If she decides to give herself mentally to someone its about time to hook up, she already chose to leave the bf or husband long time ago (disrespect), but its just an explanation from a traditionalist standpoint.

What if she is lieing about emotions part but actually got? How can you tell?

thats you vet a woman or guy when you want to do anything serious or business with them

Make them all happy, at least sponsor their life.

Living cost not cheap these day.

Wouldn't, couldn't and shouldn't. Speaking of personal experience and its very different for men and women.

Please don't misunderstood a toxic relationship with a cheat. These 2 are not inclusive of each another.

My friend said that once one side cheats, the relationship becomes toxic. Is it true?

Toxic is different and have many forms:
1) 1 side abuse the other side (verbally or physically)
2) Both side kept fighting and instead of motivate each other they demotivate each other

Relationship with cheating but not toxic:
1) Both side cheats but still stay together for various reasons.
2) 1 side cheat (normally guy side) but the other side do not mind (the one that's really ok with it).

These are just SOME examples, there may be more

U forgive but never forget

Forgiving is always easy. How long it takes to trust again remains for another topic. You may be the cause of why it happened, but never allow that to be the reason why cheating is ok because it isn't. If you weren't good enough, the cheater should call it quits instead of justifying reasons why he/she cheated. He/she took the easy way out to seek physical and/or emotional relief.

You may reflect on yourself, for improvements, but don't take the blame for it.

How to continue to love when there is no more trust!?

i screen and communicate properly before going into a ltr, via this way i dont need to be always cautious seeking for signs of danger. Not only you discover about yourself, you are also looking for a better quality partner that can stand the test of time

Regardless becomes toxic or not, its being responsible and accountable for each choice we made.

because it hurt a lot , not easy to forget , hard to move on but we need to move on

as i said we never forget because a wolf will never change its skin.

If He/She did it once, means they can do it twice. People like these already have that mindset where cheating is a "normal" thing to do.

Best he leave and stay out of contact.

easy way out?

if the person cheats once, whats to prevent them from cheating a second time?

toxic relationship people can try and mend (not easy but can try)

cheat? how to mend? let your partner check your phone? always ask permission before go out? need to have video call?

depends, some said forgive n forget, but most people can hardly forget, to forgive is to face the reality and move on, no point holding on something in the past

i personally will not forgive, but soon i will forget, of course it will hurt in the beginning, but life has so much bullshit going on, you're going to forget it in a year and seeking new goals

move forward bros, it will be better

Always be willing to walk away…

She cheated and you dont drop her ts?

Your a dead man walking my friend…

Woman hypergamy is vicious.

Their constant mindfuk shit test thrown at you game is to seek the highest value men with toughest and almost heartless emotion stoic guy.



Guys with many dating exp, many ex gfs, wife….

Checkout minute 23 onwards…

Tell me from your own experience is he BS or spitting facts? 😅😏😏

This post has been edited by max_cavalera: Sep 27 2023, 04:08 PM

definitely dropping that cheating bitch, but to forgive, that depends, i will forget sooner or later but no way im gonna reconcile with her

yes it's hard to forget cause it will be there forever in your mind

no because people don't change.

if a close relative love to borrow money from you and don't return.

You would be angry right?

U forgive but u don't forget because u won't want to lent money to that relative, right?

right

To stay on with her may invite more misery .

Totally NO for me coz when you know she cheated on you, the trust between you guys is no longer available. Real life example for myself, my ex is a host on a platform call sugarbook , but one day i found that she having a sugar daddy and the guy bought her many luxury things, when i realise this issue, she told me she really cheating on me and ask for forgiveness, but once trust broken, you can't go back anymore.

Never forgive... cheating is a choice

I can forgive even if she the give me std as long not HIV and she doesnt know about it(asymptomatic) and it happen long ago. Everyone make mistake before.

If both parties are cheating on each other, then forgiving is easier lar....

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Also, sticking with him / her when you have no other reliable choice, isn't loyal.

Loyal is when you stuck on with him / her even when there are significantly better chances at 'better' partners, that is loyal.

Loyalty shouldn't come from situations where lack of choice is clear; it should come during an abundance of choice.

This post has been edited by sadukarzz: Feb 5 2024, 11:29 AM

yes forgive the cheater

but that does not mean you must still be in a relationship with the cheater

once a cheater, always a cheater