is there any formula to it?
easy forget then sometime the memory creep back again

Easier to be said than done, but tips look for a hobby that you like, such as Tech (games PS5), outdoor activity (futsal), or anything that requires you to spend a lot of time thinking about that particular hobby.

In short keep your self busy eventually you will get over it.

The Idea is not to forget but to get over it.

thank you, i think youre right, cant never forget
is only can plug usb cable then manually delete from pc all those undesired memories.

It takes time to identify, acknowledge let the negative feelings or memory sink within your body and finally letting go.

It can be a long process, when your mind is trigger and body stiffens up, don't try to resist the matter instead accept it, it can be hard to do it yourself repetitively

until you realize it will go away slowly

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Mar 21 2023, 05:30 PM

Time.

Time heals all things, it's just the question of how much time.

Memories will always creep back in. At first, they literally occupy space in your head like a squatter you're dying to evict. But if you find a way to get on with your life, the memories will start to creep in less significantly and less often. Eventually she will only pop into your head once in a blue moon... and you know you're all good when you're able to smile when it does, instead of wincing in pain.

None of my exes are gone completely from my head, and I accept it because they did play a significant role in my journey thru life. They left me with valuable lessons like an imprint in my brain. So they do come back sometimes, you know... like when you encounter the smell of her perfume on someone else, when you pass by a place you used to visit with her etc. But if you're able to smile when these memories come back and are able to get on with stuff afterwards, then you know you have achieved closure and you're finally at peace with these memories.

TLDR: Memories will always be there esp if she had a significant influence on your life. The key is for you to move on with your life to the point these memories no longer become disruptive or a hindrance to your enjoyment of life.

This post has been edited by ZZR-Pilot: Mar 21 2023, 05:14 PM

keep busy and mix with friends, just matter of time

You cannot totally forget...just stop thinking about it and busy yourself with stuff

thanks man, when the memory return , process it, then let it flow thru

Hi there,

Memory is like a recorder, it tends to playback.
Forgetting a memory is difficult because it is embedded in us, part of our lives.

But like what other Sifu mentioned "time", "keeping yourself occupied", "accepting it" and "familiarize"

I went through a phase like yours before,
Tried deleting the memories, throwing things away but it doesn't really mount much aside than temporal recovery.

What really got me through was "time".
As time flows, so does it heals, although the scars remained, it is something for me to laugh about it.
Yeap, right now even if I see her pictures on FB / IG; I just gave a smile and hope she is doing great.

yes, the key is dont react to the thought of it, let the memory pass thru

I remember when i was in college, there was one girl rejected me harshly in front of female friends, at that point onwards ive decided to go all way to break out of my shyness, now ive been met up over few hundred girls at this point, the memory of her rejecting me doesnt seem harsh anymore, it became a blessing

Everyday when you wake up, tell yourself you are strong.

Imagine your skin growing thicker and thicker, until it becomes a suit of armour impenetrable by anything especially words and rejection.

Imagine a glowing aura around you and people notice you because of this aura.

You feel good. You feel successful.

Now, smile as you open the door to leave your house. Smile when you meet your neighbours. Smile to their dogs and cats. Smile to everyone and everything you see.

When you see her in class or at work. Smile at her, your thick skin shall deflect her cold gaze and your aura shall keep you warm. ONE rejection meant nothing... you shall try again in a different way until you achieve success.

I been break up for 3 month, depression all kick in... i can say it not easy to forget thing with her, see the colour, place & do will trigger me thinking of her.. just like trauma memory, now i try to overlap it , maybe can start chatting or casual date to gain some confident.. try to create happy moment for yourself, taking care oneself is importance, if u are depress u can work the hell out, u get anti depression free from the workout..

if let say (for example), ex gf is unwell/sick

it even harder to forget, i fell riddle with question starting with "if" / "if only"

if situation like this, how?

There is nothing you can do about forgetting your past.

Learn to detach from the person emotionally.

yes, this is correct to put it bluntly

no medication can help too

for me i already taking good care of her for the pass 6 years, even care for her during hospitalized for food allergies, already done my role as BF, I leaving her at good health, now that we already breakup, her mom message me about her daughter depression, i try to help by having casual dinner but in the end did not work out so breakout officially on December, & her mom still message me about her daughter depress from work..i just reply i can't help anymore...she are old enough to take care herself.....let put it this way when i depress who help me to get over it? same apply to u... sometime we need to be selfish, u need to take care your own before u can take care others

Depending on what you wanna forget about.
The feeling is easily replace. The old saying ...find a new one and you'll easily think lesser of the old one. Irony this is also the way cheater do it hence those married cheater just abandone the feelings of their spouse for the new one.

On the other hand for emotional pain that your ex caused you will be remain. It's easier to move on if your are not married but for married ones that pain will be there until your old age then
it'll slowly diminish when the forgetfulness kicks in.
To forgive is easy but you can never forget until certain age

at least you have tried and have no regrets anymore,
you know.. love blossom late and some situation doesnt at all.. have faith and move on
thank you for sharing


yes, thanks to our genetic make up of our body, one day we will forget
too carry on with this memory to an old age is quite a misery worth nothing by gaining it

im not able to forgive something that hurt easily , guess that just me

i am also in the process... deleted 108k of misses and kisses from whatsapp

just living with the pain now

wait 8 month

yes, i think recovery start when you accept the pain
is just part of the process
cant run away from it to recover
must go thru it

i`m not that strong

It's not just you. This is the process. It takes months years and years for some.

You don't need to say it out that you have forgiven that person. When that person comes into mind one day and you have no hatred towards her/him anymore that's when u oredi forgave. Almost feel like she:s/he's not as important and what you are currently doing already, the memory just past by, you'll naturally do urgent important stuff rather than thinking about it.

Just sabar , you will get there

thank you for your word of wisdom
in any case, just need to be stronger dragging this heave feet of memory onwards

Sorry about what happened to you TS, only time will cure this.

Right now all you can do is to remove everything that reminds you of him/her, get a hobby, start working out, some short trip, fill your mind with anything healthy and positive.

Good luck TS

Don't underestimate yourself, u already taking a step here to solve ur problems..
heck i even ask myself what the purpose of life at 1 point...but a friend did help me to recover..

stay strong if need a ear just share it and let go...

From time to time, your mind will refresh the past. Nothing wrong with it. Either good or bad memories, treat it just like part of life experience and accept and cherish it. At present, it can never do anything worse or better.

TS, try to look into the process. From you the point when you was single, become engaged in the relationship, then broke up from the relationship.

Re-visit back your memories before you went in relationship. You are doing just fine before you was into the relationship. Revisit that conditions.

Restart from that point of life. No doubt you cannot erase the memory because the good & bad memories are what each individual need to experience in this life.

Remember, at the point before you enter the relationship, your set of priorities in life is different.

I experienced that before. To say it was not sad, it will be a lie. Thinking it back, that period was full of negativities. You will felt all the negative emotions rushing in & you will be flooded with negative thinking - it is normal.

Reset your priority. Once you have reset your priority, it is easier to move forward.

Of course some of the friends will teased you and said something like "dai sei, last time when got gf, did not bother about friends anymore, now no more gf, then come find us, you think we are what ?" but you got no choice to be criticized a bit by such friends. Just enjoy that moment that you can hang up with your male friends (provided they are still single). If not, you have to hang out with the younger generations already.

An individual with a lot of hobbies can overcome this phase easier than an individual without any hobby.

let the pain flow through u cuz this process is inevitable, get away from her by any means including not seeing her, not knowing her stuff n shit, just urself, be selfish cuz u know she wont give a f even if ur depressed, might as well just block her from all ur socials so that the chance of u seeing her activities are lesser and think less of her

most importantly, f off and away from her cuz she wont come back thats a fact

yeah, block her FB, IG, whatsapp, wechat, FB messenger... delete history

cry your heart out if you need to... if you need help crying try youtube all the sad songs u can think of... then cry

cry in car, cry in shower... cry alone... unless u have wingman la, or brothers...

do exercise, hobbies... play some games, go out for a drive

time...
nothing better than the time...
savor the moment, it will remind you that you are alive

There's no real formula to it. Just know that your mind cannot conceive of a negative concept. "I want to forget her" will just make you think of her. So when people tell you to busy yourself, they are not wrong.

However, it can also mean you were just running from the feelings. When the thought resurfaces, all those feelings return and you're back to square one. You need to spend some time to actually process your feelings, and come to terms with how things are now.

lai i free u tinder gold or plus for 6 month

Well, the answers are all around this thread. Wish you well. Take the time to heal.

no formula, face it head on.

over the years it becomes part of u.

many friends still recall their ex even after marriage.

maybe not so painful, but they still recall them being kicked in the teeth due to the break up.

Do others thing, make yourself busy. Divert your attention to others thing like work hard, date a new girl, drinks with some friends, talk to friends and family, and don't stay alone. Faster way is dating a new girls, can try get a new girl from sugarbook or others apps too.

If you're reviving old threads for the post count, please do it in K'.

This post has been edited by Loseeker: Feb 3 2024, 11:31 AM

from my personal experienced .. i keep myself busy with my hobby , family and job

Personal experience.. keep self busy not easy. There will be times you will be free and the memories keep come back. The heart damm ache literally. Somemore if the person is so far away. I wonder how those lose their love on cope. No wonder some willing to suicide with faintn hope of meeting their love one in afterlife if it exist. Now as i type this my heart ache again as i think of her again. Luckily next month gonna meet her

well it's true not that easy , as for me myself just being a good friend , not more then that , with that i wont loose her totally

sometimes we are fortunate with the disease of forgetfulness.

With time, as we ages, our brain will forget more n more.

That is not a good thing. It mean sign of dementia and will make most closest person to use suffer more.

Ok.

Dedicate this song to all those want to forget that love one.

Depends on how deep is the cut.. If mild, a few months is good enough

There is no formula for this kind of things, you can try make yourself busy, do others thing to distract your attention. Exp: busy of working, do some outdoor activities, exersice, listen music, watching movie, hang out with friends etc. After a short time period, can try date another girl. Times will cure you.