OK before people lash out on me, listen to me. This is not talking about hot vs not hot.

Remember beauty and looks are on the beholder.

Let's just say a guy likes nerd looking girls (wearing specs and stuffs). He meets a girl who is opposite of Nerd but he seems to be able to click with her, is it ok for the guy to date her?

On the women side, say a lady likes guys who isn't rounded (not fat but average) but she met a guy and click with him who is quite rounded, should she date him?

My argument here is that I feel most of us will take FIRST IMPRESSION as an important judging factor.

Like, if you see a guy / girl and you think they good looking from first glance, chances are they your type.

But if you see a guy / girl and you think they not so good looking, chances are they not your type (aesthetically).

So if a person don't seem to be good looking to you but end up you feel the click, should you date him/her?

My feeling here: If I were to date the person, will I like pick on her (being not aesthetically my type) in the future?

So what do you guys think?

For me some of my criteria is they must not be fat. This is because of 2 reasons
1. Potential health problem in the future
2. This shows they dont value their health

Yes I am fat but I am slowing reducing my body weight. I was obese last time and now just overweight. Reaching the healthy BMI mark soon maybe few more months?

So so you want to take the risk that your future wife going to have diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problem, kidney problem, storke etc? Young nevermind, when person gets old, all kind of illness come.

Back to your question

Of course no issue. But again see my reply above. I know of some fat girls who are super nice (my friend). If she had workout and lose weight, she will be super hot. But she didn't want to workout. Again my point is coming back to health reasons.

Here's my list of criteria
1. Not fat
2. Good personality
3. Close with her family
4. Frugal
5. Independent
6. Not princess type
7. Non smoker
8. No tattoo
9. No binge drinking. Social drinker ok.

The girl I am seeing is super skinny, doesn't have super model looks just okish look. But I am still seeing her. And she workouts 5x/week!!! More than me. And yes she ticks all the above boxes. So I am ok with that. But not yet exclusive with her yet. Will go out few more times including groceries shopping and monitor how she shops.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Dec 2 2022, 04:31 PM

Subjective but this is my personal opinion. There is a minimum threshold of the acceptance level for the aesthetic appearance. If the minimum threshold of that acceptance is not met, just stay put.

I have tendency to believe, different competitive level of individual will give different response over this question.

YES, I found the word. MINIMUM THRESHOLD.

I also like @ramjade dun like round ladies. But many ppl around me asked me "What if the Round girl you met has all the other qualities you seek for? Just round."

I'd say, MINIMUM ACCEPTABILITY. If I push my minimum threshold to lower than I might end up not satisfied?

If like that, I will make sure she workout with me. It's a fun filling activity we can do together maybe not on her part as she will huff and pant but it will be for her own good. But if she refuse maybe I won't get into a relationship with her.

Everyone have a minimum threshold.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Dec 2 2022, 04:49 PM

I can eat mcdonald sometimes but most of the time i eat healthier like subway

Its like i can sleep with someone who's 90kg but thats just a quick bang, i may not pursue something further with her( depends on her level of awareness and our conversations)

I can also see differences like hobbies and religious belief, but we're just gonna sleep together as long as no dramas thrown at me.

A simple analogy to your question, lets say you just completed your STPM and you scored quite well in your result. You applied your choices of degree & IPTA. If you were given the your 1st choice, 2nd choice or 3rd choice, how will you feel?

1st choice damn happy right ?
2nd choice still happy, right?
3rd choice still not that bad right?

Let says the 4th choice is your minimum threshold. What if you were given your 6th , 7th or 8th choices, how do you feel?

End result, will you still proceed with the offer?

For the student scenario, there are 2 choices only. If they have alternative, they can decline the IPTA offer, FAMA sponsor to IPTS. For less fortunate one, no FAMA sponsor, most likely they have to live with whatever choice they have.

Applying the similar analogy to your partner selection. If you get someone meeting your minimum threshold , you will feel happy. If you didn't get someone meeting your threshold, will you feel resentful ? But before being resentful, do you have other option ? If no other option, can you afford be resentful ?

This post has been edited by nihility: Dec 2 2022, 05:37 PM

I'm always an advocate of "just enough". If it's enough to bother you / turn you off, then no, don't force it.

I used to say looks aren't important, until I tried to go on first date with a guy whose pictures were unattractive on dating profile, against my gut feeling. I was so turned off because he looked worse IRL, and the crooked black teeth just sealed the coffin 💀 he ticked all my boxes otherwise, the very typical stable nice with a bit of awkwardness guy. So, to understand why I feel this way, I fought against my "turned off ness" and went on 2nd meetup anyway, but I basically learned it's just not possible to force it if the chemistry isn't there. I called it off.

Same goes to everything else really...
You can't have someone who is too kind to others... To the point your/his well-being is jeopardised.
You can't have someone too rich... There's a good reason why they're super rich, e.g. workaholic/hustler, no time for you.

Possible.

Many challenges to change for both sides.

The one who gives up will end the relationship.

Been there, done that before. Not pretty but don't get emo over it.

Had it occur to you that physical attraction is not just about how the other person look? Although not surprising for this coming from a guy

It also includes smell, how it feels with his/her touches

When you say not physically attracted, what do you mean exactly? You find the looks repulsive? Or not the type that you would look twice because she's not pretty enough?

I think if you find someone repulsive physically (could be looks, smell, the way the touch feels), I think it's no go. But if just "not pretty enough", maybe still possible

He mentioned rounded so I am guessing fat/obese woman?

TS question seem to me is: Should he date a girl that he is not physically attracted to?

My answer = No.

Reason = You are leading the girl on. Down the road, there will likely be drama, heart break and you will feel shitty.

Err, well I am a guy and I admit looks are important and well for me, it's simple. If looks also can't pass, I doubt the touch and smell will have any effects later on. Maybe for me as a guy that is.

That's why fairy tale is always Beauty and the Beast

Its never Handsome and the Witch

A beautiful woman could fall in love with a not good looking man or even ugly looking man with good heart but the opposite is almost impossible cos the man would just walk away and not even give the woman a second look in most circumstances

Just wanted to share this with everyone. I was quite superficial back then ...the guy's looks has to be 60% n his personality is 40% until I dated a guy who looked like a hot Greek god but had an almost empty brain and that really bothered me a lot coz I liked having deep convos. Needless to say, I stopped dating him eventually.

Now I'm trying to go for 50% looks & 50% personality which is kinda hard coz social media keeps on encouraging us to value looks over personality 😅

Welp, unfortunately (not to discriminate) but I do notice ladies seem to be even more superficial than men in most cases. I have seen men trying to know a girl even if the girl doesn't please their eyes but for women, once TURNED OFF, forever TURNED OFF.

And also the fact that many ladies (even at middle age 35+) still think they have the luxury to find a good looking and good hearted man in ONE package despite age is picking up. I have encountered a few from those dating apps where they say they need to pass facial test first before they will try and know the person.

So what if age is picking up when there are some women out there who look younger than their age? It's the 21st century now...Men really need to stop thinking that women in their 30s are a desperate bunch when there are many women who are financially independent. For me, I'd rather die single than be with someone who's not gifted in the looks dept. At the end of the day, I'm the one who has to make out with that person. If I don't find him attractive enough, nada is gonna happen. Having said that, personality is just as important. Definitely don't wanna date a bird brain again.

This post has been edited by kitkat86: Dec 2 2022, 09:11 PM

Let them be. When they cannot find their partner then they question why no men like them.

50% looks 50% personality

Thats kind of a suprise for me that a girl will rank looks so high.

What if he is poor?

A handsome charming and witty Grab rider?

Can date u?


This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Dec 2 2022, 09:40 PM

Let me get back to u if that kinda man ever appears in my life OK? Lol