I was always skeptical about dating apps, not that I met any scammers yet, but I've heard horror stories.
But having seen some professionals here preaching about going casual, my surrounding friends also sharing their good news using it, I find their experiences interesting, maybe I should explore this part of myself and give it a go, and set myself a timeline and quit if the venture is not fruitful, here goes!

First of all I only swipe "verified" users.

First two days was kind of Meh, I matched with a lot of girls, I will initiate chat with those I find it desirable, here is the breakdown:

60% of them got no response
20% of them got response but they kill the conversation.
20% of them texted me first, but you guessed it, they look undesirable.

One of them is just... I am speechless.
"I am a teacher so I work a lot, and there is no off day, I love to work and I hate holidays." - This is what she wrote, of course she did not wrote them in one go, in between I have replies, basically I am trying to ask her out, this is what I usually do in this app, I do not waste too much time chatting. What is the point of her using dating app if she behaves like this? She looks like Indian but I gave it a shot as I can see she took care of her shape well, but the interaction put me off a lot.

Just when I am about to throw in the towel and give up, things finally got interesting.
I matched a total of 2 quality girls. They looked very desirable physically, and agreed to my invitation easily.

One of them share lots of common interest with me, we even played the same Playstation game! <age 21>
Another one is like a perfect copy of me, thinks very rationally like a man, direct, no sugarcoat, and prefers call over text, we had calls for 3 nights ever since. <age 24>

Going to meet them this weekend, one on Sat, another on Sun.
My expectation was very pessimistic, getting 2 good ones in a week definitely exceeded my expectations, hope the dates will go well.
I felt that, it doesn't need a lot of matches, those are just numbers and they are not meaningful, most just matched and do nothing, just a handful of good quality ones is enough to occupy you, meanwhile I will still be continue swiping to see if I can get more of these matches.

Will update here after the events happened.

This post has been edited by AshenOne: May 25 2024, 02:18 PM

remember. They are seeing other guys too. you're not the only one.

I understand, girl A has long hour work schedule, work 7 days a week, only night available, and she told me she is too tired to do anything but to lay down at home, even given up watching her favourite youtubers to kill time. Her "off day" is on Sun which is just means can leave earlier from work, and she chose to give that precious time to me, regardless I felt good about this.

Another one girl B, she outright told me she is meeting her matches too, she is not hiding anything, I am impressed by her straightforwardness.
She did mentioned none lasted long enough to enter a real relationship, at most just meet once or few times then go separate ways.
I wonder if anything more will happen between us? I am about to find out soon.

there's always a reason why those girls are on dating app

as you have experienced yourself some of them either seem to have character/attitude problem (which you can see from the way they replied you) or some of them are extremely very choosy, which is why they are still single and resorted to dating apps.

most girls i've met over dating apps are attention seekers or got problems like divorcee etc, i can count on fingers how many girls i hooked up (online and offline) with are genuinely chill, and no problem with open relationship kind of arrangement. A lot have been ONS or 2-time-thingy.

i heard personal stories from my girls, that some of them are able to ask different guys out on weekends.
if they were not choosy, they would easily opt for different guy for 6 days/ week, either be her free grab driver, or shopping mate etc.

i'm not joking , these guys can be pathetic they lower themselves to be 'useful' like that

A lot of girls just use dating apps to kill time and boost their ego. If guys want to be serious, they better search else where.

My advice....Don't put too much hope on dating apps. Most of the chatting doesn't lead to normal friendship, let alone dating.

Yes quite a number of them have attitude problems.

Seen some profile bio stating "do not text me if you do not have interesting opening conversation, do not talk about work, do not this, do not that...." Then what do you expect us to do?

Another one's bio is "I will not make any effort to reconcile if you piss me off".

Then some of them reply just for the sake of replying, they will not stop replying, but each of their reply is a dead end reply and you need to keep making things interesting, feels extremely one sided.

Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with them? Can't just behave normally or decently? No one is owing anyone anything...

"Useful" means the girl is just using them for mundane errands but the guy is not getting anything meaningful? Or do you mean they're using the guys for bed? If it is the former, that is called Simp.

I feel you, the chat just feels abnormal in some cases, the decent ones are in the minority, not many but they are there, still able to be found if you just keep swiping.

Good luck to you TS. Dont give up and you'll eventually be rewarded.
I miss those days where I swiped TT+Tinder+CMB all at once, and basically met girls after girls. Good times

Anyways, if you cannot click with some girls, just ghost them straightaway. There're too many choices for you. Take it lightly and enjoy the game

This post has been edited by sapusapu: Feb 11 2022, 01:04 PM

You think about it la

On dating apps, they will get a lot more attention than in real life. So they will have an inflated sense of self. Then even if there is someone decent trying to use a dating app, the amount of crappy guys will make her defensive or skew her view on men.

Chances of having anything meaningful from a dating app is extremely low. Not impossible, but just understand the ecosystem so you don't have the wrong expectations.

wish i was 5 years younger..never had the chance to play with those apps

Just go in and have some 'fun'
Remember dont shotgun

Concluded the date for today, here goes!

While waiting for us to be seated and served, we were standing outside of the restaurant, queuing with other people. I noticed she was facing the other side while we were talking, her foot was pointed at other direction instead of me, eye contact is quite minimal, this can only mean 2 possibilities, either she is not interested or she is a bit shy, because I experienced both situation before, when I see the girl I liked a lot, I tend to not be able to hold eye contact and may face the other direction while talking, also I may do the same when the other person is irritating, so I cannot make a definitive comment on this behavior of hers.

Once seated we were quite okay at holding conversations. Both of us never looked at phone, both share the same thinking that it is a form of respect to the other party by doing so. Nothing too extraordinary, overall experience quite platonic. She also revealed that she's towards the conservative type, and only had 1 relationship so far. Seems legit, but I am a skeptical person and would only take her words as grain of salt.

As mentioned, overall experience is somewhere in the middle, so I decided to not go for next destination and sent her back home after the dine-in. She left a letter and a chocolate in my car right before she left my car, she didn't gift this directly to me, I was not aware of this until I reached home and found the gifts she left behind for me.

I am usually a more pessimistic person, I flipped a coin, landed in tails, so I was going to assume the letter will be saying "Let's just be friends" those kind of words. Once I opened it, the content written in it was saying it's nice to meet me and hope I enjoy the chocolate, ended with an emoji.

I guess it's kind of a good ending? The ball is in my park now, whether I want to continue to progress this storyline.
Hmmmmmmmm............

Seems like still an open field
Keep pursuing and see how it goes
Just dont get desperate

Just to say thank you only.

seem like she is quite nice (left you a gift, didnt look at phone during the date)

as for whether she has interest on you after the date, only you can tell.... hahah.. Just same like having an interview, you will know whether you will succeed or not.

anyway, good luck! your experience is quite inspiring .. haha

Conservative old man's view here, conservative female type is a wife material, what are you hesitating ? Waiting for a better candidate ? After this cannot blame Heaven is pranking on your love life anymore.

Definitely a good ending.. now it's up to you whether you want to continue or not

Well it's easy to know. Just text her daily and see her reaction. If she gives good response then it's a good sign. After that just set up second date.
BTW, don't be fooled by appearance. Based on my experience, obedient-looking / shy girls can be very open once they're comfortable with you

Straight tatooed girl doesn't mean they're wild and open. But the key is still, start a conversation first then you'll assess their perception