My early dates with girls are always light and easy. Less interview, more shared experience n feeling.

The serious "i want to know you values" stuff can be done via text, after the dates.

Try this out.

You make dating you sounds like an interrogation.

Regardless sex or not, u still need to establish sexual attraction and deep connection with the girl.

Otherwise, u wont be able to keep a girl.

just be a series of meet ups, with nothing to show.

Not trying to persuade..just showing alternative approach. Maybe later when they get frustrated, they remember that.

Should be easy for u to find a partner right?

You are Christian right? Chinese?

Based on your posts here, you seem to hv been active in meeting up girls.

Whats the biggest challenge in finding that good Christian girl (im assuming u havent found the right one, correct me if im mistaken)?

R u particular abt race also?

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 19 2024, 07:40 AM

For completeness

Below 30
Bodycount less than 3
Not married before/no kids
Non-muslim

Correct?

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 19 2024, 04:37 PM

The next thing is whether you can make the girl to desire/want you.

They need to constantly update insta and tiktoks to show off how interesting their lives are. Very irritating

Low socmed activity is big green flag in my pov.

Usually so that they can update their social media.

Are u virgin also?

Quite common for girls to understate body counts. Like 1 is actually 2 or 3.

Even exclude the mythical virgins, its very hard to find attractive but low demand/maintenance young women.

Thats like saying one can drive just by playing Gran Turismo 😆

But no worries, still got time.

Anyway, the girl in attachment you deleted was being very honest. Thats why most girls prefer more experienced men.

I had to google ISTJ 😆

25 yo is still young...enjoy your 20s please. Thats one phase of life u wont get back when u hit your 30s and beyond.

And making money is important, but life is not just about money.

Same like sex..true that marriage is more than just sex. But sex is damn important (Unless u.think regularly fapping and cheong are what a successful marriage looks like).

All.the best in your hunting.

Sounds like my life Dating in 20s and repeat again 40s. 😆

My GF was of this type. Her close friends jokingly called her their President, aka she was the President of the Single Girls club. She was like a serial friendzoner.

She tried the "Lets just be friends" thing with me during early part of our dating. I told her Im not interested as I already have many friends. If she insist, I told her I will walk away (and I was seriously prepared to do so).

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 26 2024, 08:09 PM

Afternoon coffee/tea is also my preferred first date venue.

How come she went out with you on the first date then? How did those first 2 dates went, you think?

Coz Im concerned as she said no chemistry after the 2 dates. Sounds like boring date for her.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 26 2024, 10:54 PM

Thats true story 😆

On first date, which was a dinner, she told me early on that she.was not looking for a relationship and that she doesnt go out with men at night. She said she gave me an exception coz H (our mutual friend) kept bugging her to go out with me and H assured her that Im a "good guy".

On our second date, she spent half the time on the phone with her friend. 🙄 i took it all in stride, there was tv showing football at the restaurant and I kept myself occupied.

These 2 dates were during weekdays, after office as she didnt feel like going out on weekends. She also didnt want to be picked up so we meet at the venues, not very far from her office.

Overall, she was being difficult.

But, clearly we had a good time during our first 2 dates. We were comfortable and she laughed a lot. Afterwards, she will text to say thank you and told me that she had a good time.

Importantly I think, I broke the physical barrier early. As u mentioned, goodnight hugs at the end (but she will quickly push away) and some tersentuh here and there. On the second date, she also allowed me to hold her hands briefly while going down some stairs (maybe to compensate for ignoring me).

We also started texting daily between dates.

By third date, she seemed quite excited to see me. So this time, I gave her a welcome hug. A more forceful.one, more like an enveloping bear hug.

This date turned out more emotional, as we opened up on our past. She actually cried. Got serious trauma there. At the end of the date, I went for the kiss during our "routine" good night hug. It felt right for me. We didnt have privacy, so it was done in public.

She wasnt expecting that move and was shell shocked. She ran back to her car and I let her go. Driving back home, her heart was thumping wildly and she started cursing herself. So easy meh 😆

She actually refused to go out with me for a while after. We even had text arguments about why we cant be just friends.

But finally she gave in.

Our 4th date was "safe" as it was with a group of friends..but the sexual tension was running high.

Our 5th date...oh my..sharing details will break forum rules.

Needless to say she soon resigned as President of the Single Girls club.

Note: no gifts were given, also no "confessions" (I like u, do u like me? type).

I feel for u bro

What i posted above didnt talk abt how hard it was to fixed dates with her. Busy and non committal. I had to be very agile to pin her down. Thats why our earlier dates all happened on weekday evenings.

Now we are together, I discovered her life is indeed busy! She was not bullshitting me. She also has a neurotic personality (you can check that out) that makes her react badly to pressure.

Now my thoughts for your situation.

You are likely in friendzone already. What you should do now is to friendzone her back. Just regard her as a normal friend. Control the expectations n emotion. But maintain contact and keep show casing your value. ( have a new sports car, helping the homeless, climb mountains..whatever ). You should also date other women and if possible indirectly let her know.

Sometime in the future, you can ask.her for a date again (or she might ask you). If you date, do it right this time.

Fyi I was dating other girls when pursuing my gf. I only stopped when we agreed to be exclusive.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 28 2024, 11:50 AM

That conversation was after 3rd date...less than 1 month after 1st date.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jan 28 2024, 02:21 PM