Heyo, been wanting to reply to this but couldn't find the time to write my essay until now.

Women is generally quite aware of the "time limit". Here's how the single women in my circle of friends generally think:
A) I really want kids, so I need to settle down asap
B) I'd love to have a romantic partner, so I try my best to look for one. (This was me and a friend of mine. I'm WIP but she's kinda on hiatus cuz she just found it difficult to warm up to strangers...)
C) I'd like to have a romantic partner but I don't want to force/rush it, and I can't be bothered to actively look for one... (Many friends are here; they're quite skeptical about datings apps)
D) I'm aware I can be hard to deal with, so I willfully stay single (ironically speaking, this person is quite amicable and quiet. Just that she's a clean freak and she's really conscious about her own quirk..)
A and B people would be those you're probably lamenting about. Basically as time passes, they gain experience and also desperation at the same time. You may perceive that as only the latter, but I can assure you, there's so much more about it.

Heck, don't you dare tell me you never changed from 20s to 30s. You probably learned a lot from your life experiences, saved up a good sum, groomed yourself better, gained a bit of weight from your skinny self, whatever it is, some part(s) of you must've gotten better. Sometimes gotta give yourself some credits lah.

Furthermore, when I said experience, I meant that understanding oneself is also a way to realise what one truly wants or doesn't want. I said this before and I still stand by it: we can imagine our ideal partner all we want, but reality can be very different and that's not a bad thing. You will NEVER find the perfect one. I do not believe in a perfect jigsaw puzzle pair -- at least not from the get go. Sure, having deal breakers allow you to quickly filter out certain people, and that helps in this modern era of excessive choices (dating apps), but remember that on the flip side, you're closing your own doors to other opportunities with each additional criterion. It's equally important to keep an open mind that when you meet someone so different and out of your own world, you might just realise that maybe those little quirks are what you love and suddenly you don't care as much about her height or weight anymore. After the initial chemistry, it's still a hell lot of work to mold yourselves to be the best version for the other, and that includes accepting each others' occasional bullshits. Don't forget you're not perfect either.

Hi, sorry but I cannot help you. One of my friends also told me similar feelings when she tried dating apps and gave up after a few encounters, she described some to me...:
No romantic feeling.
Just happy to go out as friends but it's weird because there's the expectation to become romantic partners, she feels pressured
The more the guy tried (to hang out with her), the scarier it became for her, because she feared disappointing the guy who's being nice to her.
Well, I'm just speaking for my friend but... Yeah, she has minimal experience with relationships but a really easygoing person, I also feel sad for her no bf lahh aih. My friend already gave up and went overseas to try something new career wise... Lol.

Now back to you, it depends on both sides:
You
How much do you like her?
How long are you willing to wait?
You may choose to tell her your "conditions" but I personally would keep it to myself to let the relationship develop naturally, and if she still doesn't feel more after your time limit, it's time to let go.
Unfortunately, we cannot force the other person so if they're not ready, you need to think about your own future.

Her
Any red flags? I'm concerned that some women may string along a guy for free meals and rides, so you need to protect yourself. It's a very good sign she pays for some of your outings.
What is her impression of you? Well, in Asian culture, the true answer is likely not spoken so perhaps you can look for her body language - does it feel like she's receptive? Any hidden snide remarks about you e.g. "oh you have 10k savings only ah ......." If she's dissatisfied with something about you, those doubts may hinder development of romantic feelings. (Btw, try not to disclose your financial position early on, unless you want to attract gold diggers)
Is she a nice person to be with even as friends? So at least you get to enjoy the time with each other even if it doesn't work out in the end. It wouldn't be healthy if it feels like a chore to stick around... Perhaps learn something about women on general for your next attempt.

It's not about being "bad" or an ass.
Main problem as a "nice guy": he goes ALL IN showering his affection - as modern internet calls it "simp", and then they expect the girl to "return favours" in the form of her affection. You can't just trade your kindness for affection...
Another problem with the "nice guy" stereotype is that the man doesn't man up. If you orbit around a girl but in fear of rejection, you don't express your interest explicitly, it's a turnoff. Why?
- Because if the girl then asks, "eh why do so much for me, you like me ah", then it paints a conceited(?) picture of her, that she would assume your emotions. So it's really hard for the "receiver of affection" to voice their assumptions.
- Now if she does it anyway, then you have the freedom to chicken out and deny, making her look worse.
I've see a nice guy drama unfold as a third party... One guy was way too nice to a girl, it was so painfully obvious to everyone around, and to a certain extent, he was almost causing some issues for the rest of us. I was closer to the girl side so I "interviewed" her, and it turned out they did hang out 1:1 a few times, and he never confessed at all. She didn't want to appear conceited by asking him the question, and so she remained passive and waited because she's the slow to warm up type ..., but somehow he backed off too soon so nothing happened. She would've wanted to hang out with that "nice guy" more to know more about him before she could decide. (Before you assume she's a gold digger or anything, she's always eager to split bills).

When I first met my bf (from dating app), the first few dates were 0 physical touch. But he clearly said to me that he was interested and wanted in me as a woman. Despite that, I appreciated that he gave me space because I'm generally slow to warm up. He was the cutest when I fumbled while walking and he spread his arms wide frantically ready to catch me if I fall. I didn't so he looked really silly

It really depends on the lady - I've also heard a different story from a friend who's a lot more extroverted/open. She wouldn't have dated her current bf if he didn't go for the bold kiss when they weren't even dating. In my book, that guy would've been an ass but they did say.. you really just have to read the moment. At that time, he just thought it's the right thing and went for it, and he was right.

Re: bold part: I believe you're already past this point: she's already kinda chasing after you. If you NOW keep distance, then it may send off a wrong message like you're not interested in her anymore.

There are many ways to see this, and it depends whether you think she's playing a 4D chess or just plain exuding her own insecurities
I saw what car she drives after we last met. She is from well off family background
4D chess: she wants to show that she's humble (good trait) + avoid making you feel inferior OR think that you scored a rich girl (something like screening for male gold diggers?)
Other reasons: she's really humble and doesn't want you to feel inferior upon seeing her car.
How to discern? Look for signs where she casually dropped hints of "richness". Maybe she wore a branded watch, maybe it felt unnatural when you found out about her car/family/wealth....

Based on what I'm reading -- I may be biased because your story may be biased -- I think she really wants to proceed further, but has insecurities and inferiority complex somehow. Maybe she thought there's a chance and she doesn't want to be the one singlehandedly throwing that away without trying. Her actions don't add up: why bother to go to your office on a working day, just to purposely send you a box of oranges? That's really going out of her way to do something nice for you.

I think you both should really have another proper meetup together to talk about this. Be honest with yourself that what you like and dislike so far:
- you were hurt when she invited you but cancelled the dinner, and you really want to know why (you don't have to trust her blindly; focus on listening and watch her body language to understand her intention and feelings).
- you're interested to get to know her more and see where it goes, and you want to know her intentions/plans too. Figure out together how to attempt to make this work. e.g. meet on weekdays if weekends are hectic.
- ask her about her personality (which she cited as the reason she thought it's a bad idea to be together): what's so bad that she made her think so? She's likely to tell you the truth here so hear her out and consider whether you still want to be with her.
- ask about long term plans -- this isn't so much for her specifically but for any woman you want to be with. If you have differing directions in life, e.g. she plans to go North Pole and you wanna stay here, or if she really wants kids and you really don't, then you know there's no point continuing the relationship.

Assuming this woman isn't crazy and is ready to learn, I think this conversation will let you know if she's a keeper. It sounds like a difficult discussion but when you're doing this with the right person, it'll be a lot easier to talk it through. Good luck.

I think it's fair to expect within <=24 hours in general, because there has to be at least one point in time in a day where you look at your phone for extended period.

That said, I was engaged in a weekly essay writting with one of my matches on the app. Certainly not a normal case even for me, I was on the verge of cutting off and gave him an ultimatum. He panicked and agreed for a meetup, then explained that he was stuck in a busy ass job where he worked 12-16 hours a day. We're in official relationship for 2 years and counting now

Why do you think the conversations died?

Easiest way to find like minded people is to join social activities or meetings where you do something specific together. Some have recommended dance classes, you can also try language classes, sports activities, basically those that provides ample space for interaction. Drawing class not so much.

As for not having social media, it isn't really a problem but people may wonder why, so that itself is a topic to talk about. It'll do you good to socialise more to learn the social cues and practise your own speech/socialising skills. If you lack friends, you may over-rely on this potential partner because you may focus too much on the person, and/or expect too much from the same person. Generally, people may also find it off putting because it becomes easier to assume that you have a problem e.g. can't socialise, behavioural or personality issue etc.

Bro, this guy is a confirmed troll, as you can see here: https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?act=ST&f...ost&p=109718641

Anyway, I guess you're right in a way that dating app is a waste of time, but I'm skeptical about dating agencies, as I don't believe in paying a hefty sum and they match you up for just a few ladies. I've heard enough stories of people paying thousands and meeting supposedly "curated" selection of ladies, but it doesn't work out because "no spark" or worse, those ladies were paid by the agencies. The less you succeed, the more you have to pay them to get more tries, plus it doesn't sound like you have a choice of ladies? I might be wrong... But I just that dating apps, while they have similar business models (you fail = you continue to be customer), at least it's a numbers game where you can "farm" your way out.

Maybe someone with a success story from dating agencies can chip in...

Sorry, I don't need that for now haha... Touch wood it remains that way 🙏

I think no harm trying things out with a reasonable investment... Even if you don't find someone there, you might learn something about yourself or from others

Me, connected in 2021 and still in relationship. Honestly in retrospect, to me it was more like the app giving me some shortcuts to some people close by; like a cupid. My bf is brother of someone from my school, also a mutual friend of my first love, and I found him on FB dating which highlighted one of those facts so that helped to lower my barrier/added lots of starter topics.

Wow congratulations! Glad you're running at full speed into your next phase of life.