This is a dupe account as my main account is an active account in k and some people knows me IRL. Wanted to post in Cupid Corner as there's more traffic but I think this place is more relevant as my issues are not so relationship related.

Am heading to my mid 30s, earning decent around half of k standard. Have cars, houses and doing relatively well climbing the corp ladder. Always laughing and joking around friends, and have close friends who I can fall back to. I do exercise and try to maintain my fitness as much as I can. Sounds like a good life right? From the outside, people think that this guy is living his life, some friends who don't know what I am going tho always call me baller because I travel pretty often (mostly solo cause most my friends are family man) and no wife and family commitment. But here's where all good things end.

I can always put a game face when I needed to but actually I'm very hollow inside. There's something I always wanted to have but I've tried for years but couldn't achieve yet - partner and family. Been trying many years.

Let me tell you why. I am short at 4'11" and also have a hereditary medical condition that requires attention every month. I am not going to mention what it's here, but if you google it out there, some results might give you sort of "weird disease and illness" and "affect growth, liver, heart, bone etc.". These issues generally happen because they are not discipline and don't seek medical treatment routinely. You'll live a pretty normal life if you do what you supposed to do. So it's a double whammy physical and medical disadvantage.

Confidence is not an issue. I've went after tall ladies, ladies out of my league, stand tall but in the end, being my height is a big deterrent for i would say 70%-80% of the ladies I dated? Then after the 20-30% of ladies who would accept my height, eventually someday down the road I let them know about my condition, they'll break down and cannot accept someone like that even tho I am normal. The most reason I get is they worry I would die off young and can't take care of them.

I am very frustrated with my life now, no matter what I do what I try it'll end up with a dead end. I am just keeping to myself sometimes as don't want to tell my friends what I'm going tho as it'll be the same "motivation" answer I'll get. "Keep trying bro, eventually you'll find someone that love you for who you're", "Don't worry too much, when the time come, it'll come" etc. You know this is a lie and words that try to make you feel better but I've past that stage.

I've tried younger ladies thinking my financial stability can attract them, tried older ladies thinking the're more willing to settle down, trying more intelligent ladies thinking they can look past these dealbreaker, shallow ladies just to try see where I'm at but still failed. Latest girl I dated was in medical field and I thought she would understand but she had plenty of excuses and then gave me this exact quote "I know it's stupid of me to let u go. Because you treat me right. Best person I ever with n how a man should treat a woman. It's not easy to find someone like that". I really take pride in this, but if only this would be like a job referral letter. I don't know how to improve anymore, I've done all I can.

I am still trying my best but there's no light at the end of tunnel for me to focus on and I am very tired. It's the effort and it's very emotional draining after spending so much hours and effort and you get nothing. Not once, not twice, but so many till I seriously lost count. I don't know how anyone can help me but maybe this is more of a rant. I pray everyday for someone to appear in my life and can accept me for who I am but haven't had any divine intervention yet. I know many might say, there's no need partner & family to have a fulfilling life but I want a family, and preferably not too late in life.

What else can I do?

Maybe you can try match making agency or mail order bride.

I would suggest you to post in Cupid corner actually. In your situation, sounds like with women you usually jump to dating stage without going thru friendship stage. If that is the case, try to develop stable friendship with the ladies first before dating them, so that they really get to know you and have time to ponder on your conditions and may come to accept them with time.

Do you have good female friends around you that may be a potential partner? Maybe worth giving it a shot?

I also agree with this. First, you need to impress the lady and prove to her that you dedicate to her. Usually, ladies evaluate these qualities first before starting a stable relationship. Although males give more attention to erotic side, female do not give it a chance at the beginning of a realationship..So be patient and try

Tried match making agency, but to be honest it wasn't that good (or maybe the one I went to wasn't good). It's more like they see like there's 50% similarity or so then they try to hook you up. Honestly speaking, not too much different from regular online dating. Just that they help you to filter out to the lowest detail level. Mail order bride don't laaaa. Maybe last resort

Yeah because mostly recent years I been doing a lot of online dating. One or 2 friend of a friend but it's rare. So online dating, either you hit it on or off. No Grey area to build friendship first.

I don't have much single female friends left at this age. And those if I really wanted to go after, I had tried but no avail. Maybe need to relook at all my old friends and see if there are any still single and call them out for catch up see how it goes. Or Maybe need to expend my social circle towards younger ladies. Thanks.

Yeah, am still trying. Just that at times it's frustrating and feel like everything I do is not working and I ran out of ideas how to tweak and make it a successful one. Thanks.

Good idea to reconnect with your old friends. Expanding your social circle is also good. Maybe you have some interest groups (example cycling group, yoga group, etc) that you can search for potential partner as well.

I also just remembered, you can always try posting at Cupid corner classifieds. All the best.

Hello, fellow /k member. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know if you know who I am. This is my main account. I was a very active member in /k and I had many embarrassing episodes in that section, with some involving my ex girlfriend.

Following the break up, I was convinced that I’ll never find love ever again, because no one would date someone broken like me. I was determined to retreat from all social circles because I’ve wronged many and caused embrassment to others.

I was hollow and alone. I was sad and bitter. I went about life as if that was the end and there’s no more meaningful things I can add to it. Then, when I least expected it, I met my current wife more than five years ago.

My point is, sometimes, love is not something you seek. Sometimes, you discover it. Sometimes, we seek for love in places so far it feels like we’ll never reach it, and fail to notice those around us who love us and who we can love.

Anyway, the most important thing I learned from my wife is that I have to accept and love myself first before I can truly love someone else. Self love is self care. I’m not a professional, so I cannot dissect your reason for wanting a mate so hard or why you feel hollow without a love interest.

But perhaps I can encourage you to stop seeking and pay more attention to people you can love around you, including yourself.

Question you should be asking yourself is why do you want a family?
Love and family can exist separate of the other, what's the case for you?