May 28 2019, 02:11 PM
QUOTE(manix5 @ May 27 2019, 08:34 AM)
Maybe there is something she knows about you that it puts her off.
i remember when we had a deep talk once at hotel stay, we talk alot fun things and i start rapid questions game ( she got her chance after that ).
i learn so many things what she like or dislike from me , what things that i shouldn't do. i asked her why never mention this only normal day or when ever i do or said something, the simple answer was " i am also not sure " . sometime you need to get her in a mood to open up. some of the things i told she like when i do or said. ( non sexual )
on bold part , of course but sometime what our spouse do is more than what we know. your been that , done that might not the one could trigger her. find what she really need or missing for her. you're keen to win her back and refuse to makan luar , what makes you feel like that for her ?
true that. sometime our little time or attention makes a whole alot differences for the one really needs it.
i had 2 opportunity to advance in my career ( more to salary wise ). it will make me more busy , and my wife need to drive to lrt and take lrt to work.
we had this situation before this . she will be tired traveling too.
ultimately i decide to choose what best for my marriage life. that 40 minute drive back to home and going to work helps alot. more time to talk.
oh boy , she appreciate that alot and told me that she was surprised that i thought of her effect when i make this decisions. this small things all add up to the changes .
Thank you . my wife did her part too. i more to feel that i got a Gem.
Good advise. I always believe that talking is one of the best that could smoothed out the relationship. The problem is that we are often distracted by other things such as TV, Ipad, etc etc.i remember when we had a deep talk once at hotel stay, we talk alot fun things and i start rapid questions game ( she got her chance after that ).
i learn so many things what she like or dislike from me , what things that i shouldn't do. i asked her why never mention this only normal day or when ever i do or said something, the simple answer was " i am also not sure " . sometime you need to get her in a mood to open up. some of the things i told she like when i do or said. ( non sexual )
on bold part , of course but sometime what our spouse do is more than what we know. your been that , done that might not the one could trigger her. find what she really need or missing for her. you're keen to win her back and refuse to makan luar , what makes you feel like that for her ?
true that. sometime our little time or attention makes a whole alot differences for the one really needs it.
i had 2 opportunity to advance in my career ( more to salary wise ). it will make me more busy , and my wife need to drive to lrt and take lrt to work.
we had this situation before this . she will be tired traveling too.
ultimately i decide to choose what best for my marriage life. that 40 minute drive back to home and going to work helps alot. more time to talk.
oh boy , she appreciate that alot and told me that she was surprised that i thought of her effect when i make this decisions. this small things all add up to the changes .
Thank you . my wife did her part too. i more to feel that i got a Gem.
Also, getting the right time to talk openly is really depends on mood, situation, atmosphere etc. If all things are in place, then you'll have a very meaningful conversation.
Honestly speaking, it's a rare occasion whereby you can really open and talk to your spouse. I've had good meaningful and fun conversations but it's not a lot.
QUOTE(RUI @ May 27 2019, 07:36 PM)
I heard an interview and the person said, "If you are married of for 30-40 years; it's not a triumph of happiness. It's triumph of character. It's triumph of negotiation. It's triumph of the will to do that."
Nobody said to love be loved isn't exhausting. Why complain? You can't have the baby without the labour.
I believe many people are in your shoes. It's just they worked out a deal. And his deal might not work for you.
If you ask me; it's pretty big turn off to be pressured into sex. I like those "things get out of control type". And recently, I heard my colleague's wife was pregnant again. Timing was abit off to be pregnant again. So I asked what happened. His answer of "Well, accidents happen". Happily married.
Definitely not into forcing sex. That's RAPE already! Nobody said to love be loved isn't exhausting. Why complain? You can't have the baby without the labour.
I believe many people are in your shoes. It's just they worked out a deal. And his deal might not work for you.
If you ask me; it's pretty big turn off to be pressured into sex. I like those "things get out of control type". And recently, I heard my colleague's wife was pregnant again. Timing was abit off to be pregnant again. So I asked what happened. His answer of "Well, accidents happen". Happily married.
But I know what you mean. I wouldn't want someone who is being pressured into doing things that he/she is not interested. It's like forcing your spouse to like your hobby.
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as u said , it's all my work while she 
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