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Serious Married but am deprived of body pleasures, Seriously need opinions

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TSRonan.The.Accuser P
post May 28 2019, 02:11 PM

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QUOTE(manix5 @ May 27 2019, 08:34 AM)
Maybe there is something she knows about you that it puts her off.
i remember when we had a deep talk once at hotel stay, we talk alot fun things and i start rapid questions game ( she got her chance after that ).
i learn so many things what she like or dislike from me , what things that i shouldn't do. i asked her why never mention this only normal day or when ever i do or said something, the simple answer was " i am also not sure " . sometime you need to get her in a mood to open up. some of the things i told she like when i do or said. ( non sexual )

on bold part , of course but sometime what our spouse do is more than what we know. your been that , done that might not the one could trigger her. find what she really need or missing for her. you're keen to win her back and refuse to makan luar , what makes you feel like that for her ?
true that. sometime our little time or attention makes a whole alot differences for the one really needs it.

i had 2 opportunity to advance in my career ( more to salary wise ). it will make me more busy , and my wife need to drive to lrt and take lrt to work.
we had this situation before this . she will be tired traveling too. 
ultimately i decide to choose what best for my marriage life. that 40 minute drive back to home and going to work helps alot. more time to talk.
oh boy , she appreciate that alot and told me that she was surprised that i thought of her effect when i make this decisions. this small things all add up to the changes . 
Thank you . my wife did her part too. i more to feel that i got a Gem.
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Good advise. I always believe that talking is one of the best that could smoothed out the relationship. The problem is that we are often distracted by other things such as TV, Ipad, etc etc.

Also, getting the right time to talk openly is really depends on mood, situation, atmosphere etc. If all things are in place, then you'll have a very meaningful conversation.

Honestly speaking, it's a rare occasion whereby you can really open and talk to your spouse. I've had good meaningful and fun conversations but it's not a lot.


QUOTE(RUI @ May 27 2019, 07:36 PM)
I heard an interview and the person said, "If you are married of for 30-40 years; it's not a triumph of happiness.  It's triumph of character. It's triumph of negotiation. It's triumph of the will to do that."

Nobody said to love be loved isn't exhausting. Why complain? You can't have the baby without the labour.
I believe many people are in your shoes. It's just they worked out a deal. And his deal might not work for you.

If you ask me; it's pretty big turn off to be pressured into sex. I like those "things get out of control type". And recently, I heard my colleague's wife was pregnant again. Timing was abit off to be pregnant again. So I asked what happened. His answer of "Well, accidents happen". Happily married.  laugh.gif
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Definitely not into forcing sex. That's RAPE already! laugh.gif But I know what you mean. I wouldn't want someone who is being pressured into doing things that he/she is not interested. It's like forcing your spouse to like your hobby.

Chrix
post Jun 1 2019, 07:25 PM

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U get it once a month? Fark me dead.

I’m lucky if I get it this millennium, bruh.
TSRonan.The.Accuser P
post Jun 2 2019, 08:12 PM

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QUOTE(Chrix @ Jun 1 2019, 07:25 PM)
U get it once a month? Fark me dead.

I’m lucky if I get it this millennium, bruh.
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laugh.gif sure bo...


OK.. Latest update, I've been getting it 4 days consistently... Why you ask??? Go to bed early so that you can have enough energy to arouse her. That's my mistake I guess. I go to bed when I'm tired but I want it. So now, try different approach. Go bed early so that you have enough energy to really 'work' for it... Perhaps a nice sensual massage? Passionate hugging... Give some strong hint?

Anyway, am ok for the moment.. rclxm9.gif
aleluya
post Jun 4 2019, 12:55 PM

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Part of the reason is due to children. Being a housewife is way harder than you working in your office.

Taking care of children very easy burn out your wife's energy, by night time, she has already used 400% of her energy.

Take a short honeymoon trip without your children. It helps a lot. Or randomly stay in a hotel to have sex there. She'll has better mood to do it rather than in house. She'll worries that children might have heard you guys or out of sudden panic calling from children. This is unavoidable.
achong09
post Jul 18 2019, 09:28 AM

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QUOTE(Ronan.The.Accuser @ Jun 2 2019, 08:12 PM)
laugh.gif sure bo...
OK.. Latest update, I've been getting it 4 days consistently... Why you ask??? Go to bed early so that you can have enough energy to arouse her. That's my mistake I guess. I go to bed when I'm tired but I want it. So now, try different approach. Go bed early so that you have enough energy to really 'work' for it... Perhaps a nice sensual massage? Passionate hugging... Give some strong hint?

Anyway, am ok for the moment.. rclxm9.gif
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you are so lucky
Drian
post Jul 18 2019, 09:49 AM

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Moral of the story, choose your wife properly, which have better sex drive.

starianz
post Jul 18 2019, 05:51 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ May 23 2019, 01:02 PM)
Welcome to the Real life of many married man especially Asian (Chinese) when sex becomes available on ABC

Anniversaries
Birthdays
Christmas

Such is reality and many women wonder why their husband cheat

But TS you just need to try to spice things up

Its challenging as your wife spend the day slaving at home

Perhaps some routine holidays or you take off and take her shopping or just out of the house.

Good luck and welcome to the club of ABC
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This makes me laugh. rclxms.gif
ImUrDaddY
post Jul 23 2019, 02:22 PM

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QUOTE(manix5 @ May 23 2019, 03:45 PM)
been there TS , and successful bought her back .

after 1st kid , My Wife lost interest in sex , well because of newborn. i didn't bother and gave a good 1 year. during this mostly monthly once , ( note : before 1st kid , we was active in sex for 7 years. )

after i talk to her about my feeling for sex and that i'm not satisfied with only quickly and monthly event, she had alot of reason , mostly tired of work and kids.it is reasonable from my point of view also. i personally do feel sex must be involved with feeling for both and love . if both feel like that , tiredness won't be a reason.

2 more years pass and dropped beautiful daughter for 2nd, clearly talking about this to her just make her go " ok la come we do sex " ...  blink.gif as u said , it's all my work while she  doh.gif

so i google this shit out , how to turn the table . what i find is, something so basic and almost 90% people suggest yet most won't even do, is what bring the changes .

all i did is :

- help her on house chores ( i already share the chores , this is extra when she tired or surprise her doing something she hates)

- compliment her for the right things

- as usual , talk more , listen more, get interest and ask about something she share

- take leave on random day and go out , book a hotel on weekend and stay a night out

- avoid send flower to office , buy and give her when fetch or at home. 

- massage her legs ( without end up in sex ) , touch her when u cross by.

this all feel might feel like silly young couple things BUT
it only took 2 week , i can see all the changes and she start to ask why all the sudden i do this all .
i just explain that i want to have more passionate relationship ( aka sex for my understanding laugh.gif  ) and feel more loved.
she felt she was unfair to me and after all this years i still seek her love more than ever  brows.gif

from that day , everything changed , more sex , at least 2 times per week . we accidentally had 3rd baby because she was too aggressive and i failed to control  tongue.gif  

now 3 kids , sex life active , we go out , she take care her body , she also bring new ideas for sex .

that is how my table turned and hope it helps . when we was couple before marriage , this is how we used to be. because of kids , marriage responsibility , work and 2 set of parents , things changed her. i realize she doesn't need 6 pack from me , just more attention and helping hand. in the end i get what i want  thumbup.gif
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this .. follow this masta advice!

QUOTE(Chrix @ Jun 1 2019, 07:25 PM)
U get it once a month? Fark me dead.

I’m lucky if I get it this millennium, bruh.
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sure or not bro?
zeek58
post Jul 25 2019, 10:21 PM

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Don't mind me,just here learning(seriously) from you old farts before the eventual war with my future wife,whoever she is. LOL
Drian
post Jul 26 2019, 09:42 AM

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QUOTE(zeek58 @ Jul 25 2019, 10:21 PM)
Don't mind me,just here learning(seriously) from you old farts before the eventual war with my future wife,whoever she is. LOL
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Make sure she has some sex drive. If she behaves like a deadfish in bed now ,very high chance you'll be complaining in this thread 10 years from now. LOL

metaled
post Jul 26 2019, 06:37 PM

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uhhh, this is experience from a friend ahemm input from a friend.

9 month pregnant + 9 month old baby now, that is how long that mate had went without sex. before marriage the water flow like niagara falls, leg shaking and tired from the nearly daily action.

yes go massas parlor outside, but this quickly gets boring as it is very different. Some girls friend do give some sign, had a one time fling, ok turth is more then a few times but it is, just different. In the end stop all.

Craving the waifu. Mens like thingy that is hard to get. Waifu is still giving breastmilk to baby hence the dry spell which is totally understandable, try to help everything for the sake of waifu and kids, family = ALL.

Read a lot of helpful tips here that will be given to uhh said friend. Yes do share the house chores, taking care of baby, some surprises here and there. Maybe need try some other approach.
metaled
post Jul 26 2019, 06:41 PM

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QUOTE(zeek58 @ Jul 25 2019, 10:21 PM)
Don't mind me,just here learning(seriously) from you old farts before the eventual war with my future wife,whoever she is. LOL
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Make sure both of you is also matched, in terms of appetite for sexual action.

Love > Sex which is truth but Sex < Love is also not right, there is a need for 50-50 distribution.

Well you have to wonder why women keep complaining men cheat eat outside, just need to read the sad story of old unker here.
TSRonan.The.Accuser P
post Jul 29 2019, 01:14 PM

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QUOTE(zeek58 @ Jul 25 2019, 10:21 PM)
Don't mind me,just here learning(seriously) from you old farts before the eventual war with my future wife,whoever she is. LOL
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Choose wisely my young padawan! laugh.gif


QUOTE(Drian @ Jul 26 2019, 09:42 AM)
Make sure she has some sex drive. If she behaves like a deadfish in bed now ,very high chance you'll be complaining in this thread 10 years from now. LOL
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Not necessary that she's a deadfish now means she'll be a dead fish in the future; and vice versa! laugh.gif all depend on LUCK!

QUOTE(metaled @ Jul 26 2019, 06:41 PM)
Make sure both of you is also matched, in terms of appetite for sexual action.

Love > Sex which is truth but Sex < Love is also not right, there is a need for 50-50 distribution.

Well you have to wonder why women keep complaining men cheat eat outside, just need to read the sad story of old unker here.
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You may both have high sexual drive but when marriage comes in and the kids, then it's a whole different story. I'm somewhat lucky that I still get it once in 1-2 weeks. My friend told me that there's a Chinese herb which stimulates blood flow in woman and thus, they will be more 'eager' for night activities. He tried on his wife and he said there are times his wife wanted but he's not in the mood for it! laugh.gif
StarScream01
post Jul 30 2019, 09:24 PM

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QUOTE(Ronan.The.Accuser @ Jul 29 2019, 01:14 PM)
Choose wisely my young padawan!  laugh.gif
Not necessary that she's a deadfish now means she'll be a dead fish in the future; and vice versa!  laugh.gif all depend on LUCK!
You may both have high sexual drive but when marriage comes in and the kids, then it's a whole different story. I'm somewhat lucky that I still get it once in 1-2 weeks. My friend told me that there's a Chinese herb which stimulates blood flow in woman and thus, they will be more 'eager' for night activities. He tried on his wife and he said there are times his wife wanted but he's not in the mood for it!  laugh.gif
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What is the name of the Chinese herb. Asking on behalf of my friend. 😂
ZzZzz...
post Jul 31 2019, 08:49 AM

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QUOTE(Ronan.The.Accuser @ Jul 29 2019, 01:14 PM)
Choose wisely my young padawan!  laugh.gif
Not necessary that she's a deadfish now means she'll be a dead fish in the future; and vice versa!  laugh.gif all depend on LUCK!
You may both have high sexual drive but when marriage comes in and the kids, then it's a whole different story. I'm somewhat lucky that I still get it once in 1-2 weeks. My friend told me that there's a Chinese herb which stimulates blood flow in woman and thus, they will be more 'eager' for night activities. He tried on his wife and he said there are times his wife wanted but he's not in the mood for it!  laugh.gif
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what the magic herb? LOL
blabla232
post Jul 31 2019, 12:25 PM

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All the best TS! It's admirable that you're staying faithful the best you can and hope this gets sorted out soon!
TSRonan.The.Accuser P
post Aug 1 2019, 03:15 PM

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QUOTE(StarScream01 @ Jul 30 2019, 09:24 PM)
What is the name of the Chinese herb. Asking on behalf of my friend. 😂
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asking for friend eh? haha laugh.gif

QUOTE(ZzZzz... @ Jul 31 2019, 08:49 AM)
what the magic herb? LOL
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Are you asking for friend as well? laugh.gif


Anyway, let me ask my friend again on the Chinese herbs. It's actually to stimulate blood flow but mana tau, it stimulate the sexual desires as well. laugh.gif laugh.gif

QUOTE(blabla232 @ Jul 31 2019, 12:25 PM)
All the best TS! It's admirable that you're staying faithful the best you can and hope this gets sorted out soon!
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Thanks bro... trying very very very hard to stay faithful laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif If not, Clark, Philippines here I come! laugh.gif
Spaceman_27
post Aug 4 2019, 03:53 PM

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Lol go massat center is no problem unless you are caught
achong09
post Aug 5 2019, 10:45 AM

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QUOTE(Ronan.The.Accuser @ Aug 1 2019, 03:15 PM)
asking for friend eh? haha  laugh.gif
Are you asking for friend as well?  laugh.gif
Anyway, let me ask my friend again on the Chinese herbs. It's actually to stimulate blood flow but mana tau, it stimulate the sexual desires as well.  laugh.gif  laugh.gif


Thanks bro... trying very very very hard to stay faithful  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  If not, Clark, Philippines here I come!  laugh.gif

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Chinese herb got side effect?? i heard got

This post has been edited by achong09: Aug 5 2019, 10:46 AM
crosser
post Aug 6 2019, 08:12 AM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Aug 5 2019, 10:45 AM)
Chinese herb got side effect?? i heard got
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yes!
if you look at a lamp post long enough, your didi can become excited too...

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