our mind does not necessary result from psychological damage,but even biological thing can affect on your way mind worki g.get psychiatric help..it will helps a lot. Dont worry....u are perferctly normal person. Just some biological imbalance in your brain  that cause ur mind dont works well. Once u got treatment, ur mind will return to normal. All it needs is some therapy

U cant treat urself because its biological. Like how if u get heart disease,.,u cant say i cant see a doctor. U mustsee the doctor.any gov doc will help....if financial is issue

Speaking of why u hate someone unnecessary, it might be because of some hidden memories called subconcsious mind. Everyome has bad hidden memory. Like my wife, after getting married, she hate sex....with no apparent reason. But as i dig her previous history, at first she couldnt remember anything. I tell her, there must be something in the past that cause hate sex. I try to dig dig her memory out with the assistant psychiatric...n somehow psychiatric good at digging out oldhidden memory. Than we find out that she was sexual harrassed when she was kid. So she have this memory n fsces it n taught to accept it.so now,my wife haveno more grudge on sex. So i believe u toomay have something unsettleed in the past. U need dig out that memlry again to discover n face it.psychiatric will help u in this matyer

Did you consumed alcohol to drown out the voice in your head!? If yes, I propose you go outside and meet friends but don't set any expectations because if you become disappointed (the situation that you perceived as didn't meet your expectations could be a normal thing for other people) you might continue to listen to yourself to reinforce that believe. Or if you are not comfortable around friends (read: you got no friends with an ear to lend) you must find something to do outdoor like riding a bike/bicycle or heck even drive your car. Spend that fuel! The idea is you need to get out of that boredom loop. Do outdoor activity often enough and soon you'll find something interesting worth sticking to. This is something you must do yourself. It's good you're reaching out to us (in /k of all places, for god's sake) but you must take a bath, wear something nice and go out now.

Last time my parents told neighbour I work at JKR measuring the road because I went out on my bike so frequently. They didn't realized everyday I was struggling with my own negative thoughts and being out there helped me cope with that lifeless feelings.

Good luck.

went to a hospital, but they didnt take me seriously, dk what to do . if its really bipolar