Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 No Kids or One Child? Which one you into?

views
     
PhakFuhZai
post Feb 8 2019, 03:04 PM

harimau putih
******
Senior Member
1,587 posts

Joined: Apr 2011
-double income family
-kids throw to elders to take care
-parents either work or social with friends
-parents only see kids 2 hours a day (or a week!!)
-have the mindset that not having kids are selfish

topkek

no wonder kids these days perangai mcm haram jadah

glamorous outside, empty inside


jasonlim
post Feb 8 2019, 04:03 PM

Bunga(R)
*******
Senior Member
3,550 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
From: Kelana Jaya,Selangor/Muar,Johor


QUOTE(PhakFuhZai @ Feb 8 2019, 03:04 PM)
-double income family
-kids throw to elders to take care
-parents either work or social with friends
-parents only see kids 2 hours a day (or a week!!)
-have the mindset that not having kids are selfish

topkek

no wonder kids these days perangai mcm haram jadah

glamorous outside, empty inside
*
This!
happy4ever
post Feb 9 2019, 05:29 PM

(✿◠‿◠) Queen of Love ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
*******
Senior Member
7,194 posts

Joined: Jun 2005
From: Sanctuary of Paradise


try adoption. orphanages alot of unwanted kids.
-kytz-
post Feb 10 2019, 04:38 PM

10k Club
********
All Stars
12,509 posts

Joined: Nov 2008
QUOTE(happy4ever @ Feb 9 2019, 05:29 PM)
try adoption. orphanages alot of unwanted kids.
*
I might be wrong but I don't think our society is ready for that
doczane
post Feb 10 2019, 04:45 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
114 posts

Joined: Nov 2008
From: Shah Aley


Planned but eventually tried when the time was right financially, failed until now. Years. Now watching family with kids I can just shed inner tears and pray for the best.
So i think, don’t wait too long, kids buka pintu rezeki. Just plan if more than 1, within your means. But at least have your progeny and raise him/her well. They’ll make your life different being a parent. That’s the purpose of marriage.
cc980024
post Feb 11 2019, 09:00 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
Sometimes things just don't work out the way you planned.

It is actually ok to have the thought of no kids but people around are just too bzbody about whether you have kids right after you got married. Me and my hubby not fancy bout kids and we understand that having a kid carry heavy responsibility and we actually prefer to avoid the trouble to raise a kid.

We started off declare no-child plan since the day we got married. And ppl around us started to gossip guessing that I am barren (mandul). They started to say something like "don't want kids, then y got married?" And fyi, I got married because of some chinese tradition that his grandma pass away and within 100days we are married. And we fail to understand why "dun 1 child cannot get married".

Both parents keep pester us for grandchild, finally we got hit by accident baby. My parents were so worried that we will abort it and the 1st assurance they given me was "don't think too much, deliver the bb first. If $ is a problem, we will be there for you and this baby we will fully bbsit for you".
Another point is, don't know why "no-child" policy will end up ppl thought that you couldn't afford 1. That year, my parents keep asking if we have enough $ to survive, but the sad part is my in-law frequently telling us that they are broke. This case have proof to me that parents have generous and have selfish type too. So, if you have such "no-child" intention, never ever mention it.. it will make ppl judge you alot! I deliver in a reputable private hospital and my best friend even asked whether I borrow $ to pay for delivery fees. I really regret announcing no-child policy, ppl really thought we are broke.

My mom know that we are not ready for a bb at all, so throughout the first few years, she actually get hold of the baby for me. She encourage us to go on our romantic life and given us enough time to accept ourselves being a parents. Since no-child policy tak jadi, so now become 1-child policy and we are extra extra careful. Again relatives start pester again, asking us to get a companion for our single child.

But is a blessing that given us this accident baby. He came to us at our most difficult time, newly wed with nothing in savings, new house to pay, .. we survive based on our monthly income only.Hence, most of the pricier bill are on 12months instalment as we have salary but no savings tongue.gif. Anyway, am lucky that we were still young having baby at 29 (hubby 31) and able to reach stability and comfort level at much earlier age.

But now having single child, have another bigger issue. As having single child means this baby have more to enjoy, more benefit, etc. I need to let him understand why he have the luxury of annual overseas trip whereas his peers don't. Not because their family poor, is probably their family have more kids that the parents don't have enough hands to care for them during travel. He is 12 now, and being single grandchild, single nephew, he already foresee that he inherit all the properties (6 and increasing). My siblings all single. Hence, we need to let him understand that all this benefit come with "old folks caring package".

This post has been edited by cc980024: Feb 11 2019, 09:07 AM
stopandroll
post Feb 11 2019, 09:06 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
119 posts

Joined: Apr 2017
Having 1 kid sometimes too cruel for the kid. Kesian.
I hv 2 cases on my point, a single child in family sometimes show early sign of depression on even early year of development. They often talk to imaginary friend, and show sign of psychosis.

at least 2 la.

cc980024
post Feb 11 2019, 10:12 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(stopandroll @ Feb 11 2019, 09:06 AM)
Having 1 kid sometimes too cruel for the kid. Kesian.
I hv 2 cases on my point, a single child in family sometimes show early sign of depression on even early year of development. They often talk to imaginary friend, and show sign of psychosis.

at least 2 la.
*
1 kid only cruel if the kid have no exposure to outside. Kids nowadays go to childplay learning centre as early as 2yr+. They have friends to play with. And there are alot of active parents forum/group where parents bring their child (usually 1st child or single child) to get together and have fun.

What I see the lacking in single child probably fighting spirit. They don't fight for toys/snack or attention. Many are generous to offer, as they have plenty at home.. so they willing to share to outsiders.

But if parents wanted to have more than 1 kids, make sure have a well balance and fair treats to all kids. Frankly speaking, I have seen too many cases (even my own hubby's sibling) fighting for inheritance. Parents only see their children love each other (as siblings) but they will never know that their children have become enemies because of their parents. Some ppl thought giving more to the lack capable child is logic, as other siblings are more capable. Some ppl thought staying with parents, should inherit the house whereas other siblings should be out of the way, some even think that they should inherit more because they are the caretaker to the sick parents.. many many different perspective, no matter which 1 is never consider fair.. unless nothing to inherit, nothing to fight. I don't want my next generation have this problem. And don't tell me about family teaching, you won't know if the siblings will fight until that day come.

Old days, my grandma have 10 kids (7sons, 3 daughter). Daughter inherit RM1K each, sons get RM10K, all jewelry go to DIL. Nobody make noises. But do you think this still apply for current generation? Daughter want equal rights as son, the caretaker will start telling you that she/he contribute more during parent's still alive. Lately my colleague's FIL pass away, have 2 sons. The younger son taken all savings & house with the elder brother consent. But he go and announce to relative that they 50-50 share, the elder brother was so upset. As the relative say younger brother should get more as he stay with father (with the fact was he actually already get 100%). So the elder brother who already give up all the inheritance, yet being blame for not being generous to offer.

More kids = more mess. Hahahaha

stopandroll
post Feb 11 2019, 10:32 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
119 posts

Joined: Apr 2017
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 11 2019, 10:12 AM)
1 kid only cruel if the kid have no exposure to outside. Kids nowadays go to childplay learning centre as early as 2yr+. They have friends to play with. And there are alot of active parents forum/group where parents bring their child (usually 1st child or single child) to get together and have fun.

What I see the lacking in single child probably fighting spirit. They don't fight for toys/snack or attention. Many are generous to offer, as they have plenty at home.. so they willing to share to outsiders.

But if parents wanted to have more than 1 kids, make sure have a well balance and fair treats to all kids. Frankly speaking, I have seen too many cases (even my own hubby's sibling) fighting for inheritance. Parents only see their children love each other (as siblings) but they will never know that their children have become enemies because of their parents. Some ppl thought giving more to the lack capable child is logic, as other siblings are more capable. Some ppl thought staying with parents, should inherit the house whereas other siblings should be out of the way, some even think that they should inherit more because they are the caretaker to the sick parents.. many many different perspective, no matter which 1 is never consider fair.. unless nothing to inherit, nothing to fight. I don't want my next generation have this problem. And don't tell me about family teaching, you won't know if the siblings will fight until that day come.

Old days, my grandma have 10 kids (7sons, 3 daughter). Daughter inherit RM1K each, sons get RM10K, all jewelry go to DIL. Nobody make noises. But do you think this still apply for current generation? Daughter want equal rights as son, the caretaker will start telling you that she/he contribute more during parent's still alive. Lately my colleague's FIL pass away, have 2 sons. The younger son taken all savings & house with the elder brother consent. But he go and announce to relative that they 50-50 share, the elder brother was so upset. As the relative say younger brother should get more as he stay with father (with the fact was he actually already get 100%). So the elder brother who already give up all the inheritance, yet being blame for not being generous to offer.

More kids = more mess. Hahahaha
*
Friends to play with. When in learning centre.
You see, friends and siblings are 2 different things. In early year yes, can bring to children learning centre, hv fun there and all.
But as the kid getting older, teenager maybe, he will get lonely as nobody that he/she can speak to.
Having a sibling teach the children to share, have empathy, patience and developed communication skills.

“The literature would suggest there is something about [only children] because they were lacking these important social relationships or learning these tasks early in life, meaning maybe they are more selfish or have difficulty with social interaction, sharing, or understanding social cues,” Milevsky said. (https://www.businessinsider.my/what-only-child-syndrome-really-is-2017-9/?r=US&IR=T)

I think 1 child policy can produce a brilliant but lack of empathy generation.



PhakFuhZai
post Feb 11 2019, 11:26 AM

harimau putih
******
Senior Member
1,587 posts

Joined: Apr 2011
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 11 2019, 10:12 AM)
Old days, my grandma have 10 kids (7sons, 3 daughter). Daughter inherit RM1K each, sons get RM10K, all jewelry go to DIL. Nobody make noises. But do you think this still apply for current generation? Daughter want equal rights as son, the caretaker will start telling you that she/he contribute more during parent's still alive. Lately my colleague's FIL pass away, have 2 sons. The younger son taken all savings & house with the elder brother consent. But he go and announce to relative that they 50-50 share, the elder brother was so upset. As the relative say younger brother should get more as he stay with father (with the fact was he actually already get 100%). So the elder brother who already give up all the inheritance, yet being blame for not being generous to offer.

More kids = more mess. Hahahaha
*
what you said is right, haha, sometimes people just bury the uneasiness feeling deep in their heart, and put on a mask, until certain events trigger them off

nowadays daughters will demand equal share from family inheritance liao, they won't settle for less

next time if you got another daughter, please treat and give her what she deserved, don't just give all the "meat" to your son and leave the "bones" to the daughter wink.gif

QUOTE
But now having single child, have another bigger issue. As having single child means this baby have more to enjoy, more benefit, etc. I need to let him understand why he have the luxury of annual overseas trip whereas his peers don't. Not because their family poor, is probably their family have more kids that the parents don't have enough hands to care for them during travel. He is 12 now, and being single grandchild, single nephew, he already foresee that he inherit all the properties (6 and increasing). My siblings all single. Hence, we need to let him understand that all this benefit come with "old folks caring package".
you may need to leverage the power of those 6 properties when u re old, let the properties to take care of you, instead of placing burden on your only son. There's only limited things he can do; he can earn his own wealth outside, but no so when he need to worry and spend time and energy to take care of aging parents

This post has been edited by PhakFuhZai: Feb 11 2019, 11:34 AM
cc980024
post Feb 11 2019, 11:33 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(stopandroll @ Feb 11 2019, 10:32 AM)
Friends to play with. When in learning centre.
You see, friends and siblings are 2 different things. In early year yes, can bring to children learning centre, hv fun there and all.
But as the kid getting older, teenager maybe, he will get lonely as nobody that he/she can speak to.
Having a sibling teach the children to share, have empathy, patience and developed communication skills.

“The literature would suggest there is something about [only children] because they were lacking these important social relationships or learning these tasks early in life, meaning maybe they are more selfish or have difficulty with social interaction, sharing, or understanding social cues,” Milevsky said. (https://www.businessinsider.my/what-only-child-syndrome-really-is-2017-9/?r=US&IR=T)

I think 1 child policy can produce a brilliant but lack of empathy generation.
*
Maybe different family setup, different family culture may produce different sets of children.

We are 3 sisters in a family but we seldom share secrets with siblings as having the same parents means there is always chance that secret may leak out to parents. We play along when we were kids and the moment we step into teenage, we actually have more close friends. And when we grow up, all of us live apart. We will help each other as we are from the same blood, but we help our best friends too. The only thing that get us to sit down and discuss is when related to parents.

My hubby have 1 younger sis and 1 younger bro. They have bigger age gaps, so all of them actually dun mingle around with each other. Whenever we have any issue or worried over a certain sibling, we have to talk to his/her friend or spouse.

And actually I have many friends who actually not that close with siblings once become adult. Those elder 1 are being bothered by the younger siblings' attitude more than caring. And the younger siblings are being bothered by their elder siblings' spouse. So for me, siblings are seldom a best friend that can listen and share your joy and pain. This is life. No doubt, there are lovely siblings but not much in this era.

As for whatever the literature suggest, it may be true for older generation. But coming generation is totally new sets of brain. Who knows regardless of single or multiple child.. mode of survival kicks in, all are lack of empathy.
And children nowadays are attention seeker, I see kids fighting with siblings over stuff more than sharing it. Whereas single child's problem is they don't even bother to fight, as they have all they want. Most I heard from my son and his friends "you want, I give you.. I got plenty at home".
There are quite a number of single child in school. My son didn't bring $ to school and there were time where he forget his pencil case, but came home with full sets of stationary. He got friends offer to buy him stuff in school. And there were time he request a few more homemake sushi as his friends was excited to see him having it. He also brought home cakes from his friends. Doesn't this a practice of sharing as well? Parents make a big role in guiding kids, I bought cake and told him to pass to his best friend's mom, which end up he got a few not only 1 best friends .. sigh boys. We don't need extra children just to teach them how to be generous and share. Small family doesn't mean you can't provide a ground for the kids to learn social interaction and be generous, single child are meant to face outside and love the ppl around them, not limited to the number of members in the family only. Parents who have single child are well aware of this and hence they will always remind their child what is sharing and practice it with friends, not like the typical parents telling the kids "love your brother sister as they are your siblings", and start to induce "leveling status" in the child's mind.. frens is not buddy.. only siblings is buddy.
cc980024
post Feb 11 2019, 11:46 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(PhakFuhZai @ Feb 11 2019, 11:26 AM)
what you said is right, haha, sometimes people just bury the uneasiness feeling deep in their heart, and put on a mask, until certain events trigger them off

nowadays daughters will demand equal share from family inheritance liao, they won't settle for less

next time if you got another daughter, please treat and give her what she deserved, don't just give all the "meat" to your son and leave the "bones" to the daughter wink.gif
*
I won't.. die die must be single child. Seen too much of inheritance related issue. Rich and not so rich, as long as have a bit of money or a house.. there is issue. Unless poor poor poor.. but if too poor, nobody wanna pay for your well-being, then how?

Other than own experience with hubby's family, I already can smell my own family side having same situation where my parents intend to give the house to my younger sis as she is lack capable, but my elder sis who are very rich wanna fight for fairness. I keep quiet coz no matter what, end up this bricks will go to my son's hand being single in his generation.

I also seen siblings fighting for inheritance from single (not married) sibling. And also cases where some found out that parents have joint account with a sibling, and start fighting too.

This make me feel, maintaining a simple and small family is better. Coz all the inheritance issue that I seen is not what we thought only the rich have issue. They are all common family like mayb a few hundred thousand cash and a house.
cfa28
post Feb 11 2019, 12:07 PM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,742 posts

Joined: Jan 2012


Just make sure you have a will and that all beneficiaries are informed of the will.

Make a clause that if any beneficiaries try to challenge the will, they will automatically forfeit their share if the court rules against them.


cc980024
post Feb 11 2019, 01:32 PM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(cfa28 @ Feb 11 2019, 12:07 PM)
Just make sure you have a will and that all beneficiaries are informed of the will.

Make a clause that if any beneficiaries try to challenge the will, they will automatically forfeit their share if the court rules against them.
*
This is not about the will. Is about if the children not happy about the shares, with or without will.. the siblings relationship and the love they share when their parents still around will no longer be there. Especially there will be doubt how the will being draft, with one suspecting another for "brainwashing" the parents. Hahahaha.. It is heartbreaking seeing siblings end up cursing each other for cheats. Might as well live single.


SUSTunZ
post Feb 11 2019, 05:07 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
58 posts

Joined: Aug 2018
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 11 2019, 09:00 AM)
Sometimes things just don't work out the way you planned.

It is actually ok to have the thought of no kids but people around are just too bzbody about whether you have kids right after you got married. Me and my hubby not fancy bout kids and we understand that having a kid carry heavy responsibility and we actually prefer to avoid the trouble to raise a kid.

We started off declare no-child plan since the day we got married. And ppl around us started to gossip guessing that I am barren (mandul). They started to say something like "don't want kids, then y got married?" And fyi, I got married because of some chinese tradition that his grandma pass away and within 100days we are married. And we fail to understand why "dun 1 child cannot get married".

Both parents keep pester us for grandchild, finally we got hit by accident baby. My parents were so worried that we will abort it and the 1st assurance they given me was "don't think too much, deliver the bb first. If $ is a problem, we will be there for you and this baby we will fully bbsit for you".
Another point is, don't know why "no-child" policy will end up ppl thought that you couldn't afford 1. That year, my parents keep asking if we have enough $ to survive, but the sad part is my in-law frequently telling us that they are broke. This case have proof to me that parents have generous and have selfish type too. So, if you have such "no-child" intention, never ever mention it.. it will make ppl judge you alot! I deliver in a reputable private hospital and my best friend even asked whether I borrow $ to pay for delivery fees. I really regret announcing no-child policy, ppl really thought we are broke.

My mom know that we are not ready for a bb at all, so throughout the first few years, she actually get hold of the baby for me. She encourage us to go on our romantic life and given us enough time to accept ourselves being a parents. Since no-child policy tak jadi, so now become 1-child policy and we are extra extra careful. Again relatives start pester again, asking us to get a companion for our single child.

But is a blessing that given us this accident baby. He came to us at our most difficult time, newly wed with nothing in savings, new house to pay, .. we survive based on our monthly income only.Hence, most of the pricier bill are on 12months instalment as we have salary but no savings tongue.gif. Anyway, am lucky that we were still young having baby at 29 (hubby 31) and able to reach stability and comfort level at much earlier age.

But now having single child, have another bigger issue. As having single child means this baby have more to enjoy, more benefit, etc. I need to let him understand why he have the luxury of annual overseas trip whereas his peers don't. Not because their family poor, is probably their family have more kids that the parents don't have enough hands to care for them during travel. He is 12 now, and being single grandchild, single nephew, he already foresee that he inherit all the properties (6 and increasing). My siblings all single. Hence, we need to let him understand that all this benefit come with "old folks caring package".
*
Thanks for sharing
RubMyGenie_
post Feb 11 2019, 05:40 PM

New Member
*
Newbie
16 posts

Joined: Jan 2019
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 11 2019, 10:12 AM)
They have friends to play with. And there are alot of active parents forum/group where parents bring their child (usually 1st child or single child) to get together and have fun.

What I see the lacking in single child probably fighting spirit. They don't fight for toys/snack or attention. Many are generous to offer, as they have plenty at home.. so they willing to share to outsiders.
*
Having friends to play with and having siblings is entirely different level... There are a lot of things that siblings can help but friends can't. Especially on the whole "experience" of growing up.

Lack of fighting spirit? I beg to differ, single child are usually spoilt with nearly everything, they can have all the toys/snack or attention that they wanted, no need to fight with other people at all. So when there's hardships in the future in life, single child usually are more aggressive as they are used to having everything they wanted by themselves and no need for sharing. I for one, would say that children with siblings are much more generous to share with others, as they are already used to sharing with their siblings in the first place.

And of course, that's just both of our opinions, you and I. I believe the opinions we had are coming from our own personal experiences in life, and there's no right and wrong to it. Just different roads of life.

=====================================

In terms of inheritance and everything else, I would say it was how the children was grown...

I have seen far too many families breaking up because of "inheritance", but yet, I have also seen some families that do actually care for each other, even to the level of distance relatives.

I believe it all ends up on how the child grows up. Children is like a sponge, they will grow up and absorb stuffs from their family first, then their friends, people who are closed to them and lastly, media (TV, Social Network, Internet, etc).

There's no right or wrong answer towards to having no child, having only a single child or even having a bunch of them. Most importantly is that you know what you are doing. There's pros and cons towards to everything.

But the general rules would be...

If no money cannot support family, better don't have children. I hate it when TV3 shows up some Families having 8-9 kids then asking the public for donation... No money then don't hamsap so much lah knnbccb... Buy condom is cheaper than diapers!

Having a single child is easy for the parents, but a huge burden for the child. I myself is a single child and I am giving my parents RM2k per month. If I am not the one who does it, who will do it? Some might say - Aiya, then ask your parents to use their own savings lahh... That's true, but being a good son that I am, I don't mind giving RM2k per month. Also, that is because I am capable... What if, just.... What if, your future child is not that capable and only can give parents RM1k or even less? How the parents survive with that little money IF the parents have not much savings in the first place? Pokai loh like that...

Having 2-3 children however, will not burden the single child so much, as multiple siblings can help chip in a little bit of their salary for their parents. You might say, later your child char siew don't want to give you money... Then that is your problem in the first place, of not being a good parent and teaching them well.

This post has been edited by RubMyGenie_: Feb 11 2019, 06:01 PM
eggtart02
post Feb 11 2019, 09:37 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
113 posts

Joined: Sep 2017
QUOTE(TunZ @ Feb 4 2019, 12:07 PM)
I'm seriously thinking really need a kid or not .. yeah now you might thinking this person is selfish already .. yes kinda .. but if I'm too rich i dont mind raising a baby .. but with my current level I think its hard to maintain a kid .. or stay happy and travel around ..

for parents sure they want kids .. but its not about my parents only rite .. we both in same opinion ..
*
Its really a personal choice. But its always best to have them when you ready.
Having 2 kids would be great if you can afford and give them love.
Reasons simply because of loneliness and siblings bond is something really special.
Besides, the burden on a single child is heavy.




cc980024
post Feb 12 2019, 10:39 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(RubMyGenie_ @ Feb 11 2019, 05:40 PM)

*
I see why both of us have different thoughts as we are from 2 extreme different background.

You think that children with siblings are more willing to share. Let me tell you, there is a sentence "I had enough, why always me to give way?" People may think few kids grow up together can train them sharing, but don't forget when resources are limited and everything have to be share, it may indirectly making someone to keep stuff away from sharing. Yes, the positive side is they will learn to treasure whatever they have as it did not come easy.. not only by the mean of share that limited the stuff that they can get, it also means you have to fight and get it.

Another point is having single child means he/she will have to carry the full responsibility to care for parents. But that doesn't mean family with many kids will share the burden too. I have friends who not only have to finance his parents, he have to pay for both his 2 siblings education fees and got so sick bout how his mom pampered them using his hard earn money. When you are the provider of the family, with siblings who don't bother to share or worst.. become your burden on top of your parents, you will wish that your life to be much easy without them. And if you are someone who want ppl to share your load and thought having siblings can help, then of coz want siblings. But again, it is based on luck what kind of siblings you get. If referring to family teaching that produce what kind of children, I will say every family will think they have their best way to teach but it never guarantee that we are able to teach our kids to become a good adult, at least none of us reach that stage yet now.

For our generation, we are aware of the heavy expenses to carry a child. And parents nowadays will invest just to provide the ground for the kids to explore his/her potential. And we have so much more expenses (to maintain the new family) than our parents' generation, yet we also taking care of our parents' daily expenses. Personally, I don't want to become a financial burden to my children. So, before one decide to have kids, it is fair to relook at your own capability. Not only be able to finance a child/children, you have to also make sure you can retire with a comfortable amount of $, not to let children education exhaust your retirement fund. As once you use your retirement fund on the kids, expecting them to bring home $, this is actually making children repeating all the pain that you have gone thru, not forgetting their pain is double as future elderly needs more $ than past generation. (ie: our grandparents only need 3 meals a day and stay home help to care grandchildren, now our parents need insurance, car petrol, astro, and by luck if they stay with you to help with your kids otherwise you need to fork out extras for bbsitting, who knows future what we need if we expect our kids to carry us as burden tongue.gif)
RubMyGenie_
post Feb 12 2019, 12:02 PM

New Member
*
Newbie
16 posts

Joined: Jan 2019
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 12 2019, 10:39 AM)

*
I guess most of the readers of this thread will have a deep look onto the experience of two different individuals with extreme different backgrounds. As I said before, there's no right or wrong answer to it, it's just shows how different our experience are with different backgrounds.

As for the debate of raising a child, I would say that in the near future, maybe 2025 - 2030, we would see many more char siew(s) (Those that born after 2010 or 2015). I see that nowadays parents are getting lazier when it comes to spending time with their children. They just throw in an iPad or a mobile phone to their kids as young as f*cking toddlers.

With so much flashy things and interesting things on the phone, kids will get hooked onto their phones and can easily get ADHD. Then one thing leads to another, it would lead to being socially awkward, then complain about no girlfriend, then say themselves very depressed and then threaten to kill themselves.

Just like multiple users that open thread in serious /k/ and here in Cupid Corner. Small Small thing want to die here die there. No P*ssy no need die one.
fearless_kiki
post Feb 12 2019, 12:20 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
278 posts

Joined: Feb 2013
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Feb 12 2019, 10:39 AM)
*

If you ask me if I want siblings in another life, I would still say yes despite having imperfect siblings. Reason is, family is thicker than blood and no friend can replace that. Yes, your son can play with friends outside but when they come home,
feel lonely as f**k. Sure, friends are close but when it comes to money? Hahaha... All real faces come out. Do they need to help you? Nope, they are not your so and so.

Sure, parenting does not guarantee a nearly perfect child. But it is a strong foundation nontheless. The example that you gave is a good example of parents biasness. Of course the older sibling will feel sad when the mother is spoiling the younger ones. If the parent treats the children with fairness, many issues can be avoided.

I've seen many single child being a spoilt brat. Many parents substituting the emptiness of sibling with an Ipad. No one to play with and parents busy. So play ipad. Reason of spoiled single kid? Having everything handed to him without working hard. And having the "everything will be inherited to me" mentality. In the end? Doing nothing and shake legs. Of course, this is mainly poor parenting by the parents. My friend's friend has a family manufacturing business but he doesn't work at all. Everyday play games and buy sexy figurines. Parents too sayang him and pampered him. Another friend of mine only start working in late 20s. My cousin? Doing non profitable works when his parents aren't well off. He said got free travel and can learn many things. But how can you sustain your lifestyle having almost nil income?

And you can never reveal everything in your family closet to a friend. We will feel paiseh, ashame. Friends can only help to a certain degree.

And being the single kid, he has no direct role model of a older kid nor having the responsibility to take care of a younger sibling. So no role model they go out to find friends as role model. And many times parents won't know what kind of people their kids mix around until it's too late.

This post has been edited by fearless_kiki: Feb 12 2019, 12:45 PM

3 Pages < 1 2 3 >Top
 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0225sec    0.11    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 29th March 2024 - 06:17 AM