I'm seriously thinking really need a kid or not .. yeah now you might thinking this person is selfish already .. yes kinda .. but if I'm too rich i dont mind raising a baby .. but with my current level I think its hard to maintain a kid .. or stay happy and travel around ..

for parents sure they want kids .. but its not about my parents only rite .. we both in same opinion ..

I will go for 2 child

But waifu got terrible morning sickness for my coming firstborn....might as well go for 1 child only

Perhaps it is not too selfish to consider the fact if you cannot give your child the best, it is better to not have one at all. Besides, it is not like we can just let them run out of the gate if we regret later on, but it would become a lifelong mistake for 3 (or more) people.

In the end, you are both living your own lives, not your parents'. Taking care of them in their old age is even more important than catering to their wants for grandchildren (finance, time etc).

Minimum 1 maximum 2.

" but with my current level I think its hard to maintain a kid"

TS, maybe you should improve your financial situation first? Having kid(s) is a long-term commitment, emotionally and financially.

If you and wife are still young, then don't rush to have kids.

Any decision now, hopefully no regrets later.

As second class citizens of this country, rather have no kids. Cost of living is escalating, education, food etc. We need a quality life , I would spend money on health, including that of spouse and grand parents, traveling, entertainment and gifts for ourselves, hobbies and charity. Not to mention less stress. Unless you are super filthy rich than that’s different

This post has been edited by abhipraaya: Feb 4 2019, 12:59 PM

i probably prefer no kid, now age 30 for me consider old enough to have baby. I prefer spend time with my man and family. i thankful for my bro giving my parent grandchild, i guess that is what they want afterall.

You can have kids then send them overseas to study, tell them to find a job and settle down there.

Hmm....
is it really a "need" question? or a "want" question?

It's your decision to having how many kid.
But, keep in mind that children can never decide their parents.

I have 1 kid that is now 17 years old with my ex-wife. Unfortunately I haven't seen her for 15 years.

Now I have a 9 month old baby. I don't think I will be having another one. We had our time travelling around the world and one day while on holiday decided the next stage was to have a baby and we did.

However we both decided we don't want to have another one as we prefer to do quality over quantity.

Someday if the 1st one comes back to see me then I'll be happy to accept her back but till then our one is it.

My partner and I both decided not to have kids.

Selfish, depends on your perspective. Everywhere I look, the reasons people have kids (and they are not ashamed to admit, and actually proud of it):

1. To satisfy parents
2. So-called 'next level in life'/'must experience'
3. Babies/kids are cute to play with/show off on social media
4. Need someone to take care of you when you grow old (mUh LoNeLiNeSs)
5. Didn't think/plan, people have, I have.
6. 'Accidents'

All of the reasons are extremely selfish, and none of them think from the kid's perspective. To me, that's called selfish.

While I think from the kid's perspective before I even have one:

1. Society is degrading. Youngsters get rich, famous and wasted for doing stupid stuffs on social media.
2. Education here sucks. Government 'not there' yet. Country is still 'developing' forever.
3. I want to raise and home-school my own kid, coz I don't trust anyone else, but since I'm not 'retired with passive income', I can't.
4. I cannot accept leaving my kid to nanny/grandparents/parents and risk being 'brainwashed' by their old mentality/nonsense.
5. Climate change worsening.
6. If I cannot give my kid the life I want him/her to have, then I cannot accept having one. And that's even when my finance is considered well off compared to my peers.

So when people ask me why I don't have kids, I just tell them in the face. They just laugh it off my seriousness but bringing someone into this world is serious matter, so I say you do you. I have my own principles in life, not blindly follow people.

This post has been edited by J1g54w: Feb 5 2019, 12:43 AM

Thank you guys..
Thanks for sharing opinion, experience and all.. many thanks

Hello, speak for yourself.

If you think you are second class, everywhere you go you are second class, because that is your mentality.

Sure there is imperfection in this country but for the reason why you view yourself as this, is the very reason why people treat you as second class.

I don't mind having kids, even if this country is like this, why? because we are not at the level like Syria. The environment is still condusive to have kids.

Me, my parents, my forefathers can still reek in a living despite the social disadvantages.

Out of topic bro.. this is nothing to do with any class ..

I am trying to say, do not have this attitude just because one thinks Bolehland is a rotten country to have a kid - is not a valid reason to not to have a baby.

This post has been edited by Pete the great: Feb 7 2019, 04:42 PM

I don't understand why ppl say not having child is selfish

No kids. Single parents already don't like dating other single parents LOL

Not having children is selfish because the person is/people are prioritizing themselves and what they want.

Having children is even MORE selfish because come on lah, tell me why you had the kid and you cannot use the phrase "I wanted", on top of the fact that having a child is pretty much one of the worst things you can do for the environment.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Feb 8 2019, 02:35 AM

Why would this be a selfish decision? What's selfish are people who didn't do proper planning beforehand, be it financially or other aspects. Being responsible for a 'life' is not easy and it's not limited to money. I think we've had enough stories of children being abandoned, abused, neglected etc. The world will be a whole lot better off when people think twice before carrying a child. Thus if you're both not ready for this commitment, don't jump into it. It's common for the elderly to presume that married couples should carry on the family lineage through next generation thus they will not be happy with the decision.

Then again, it's your live and both of you will be the ones to go through the hardship of raising a child, not the elderly. So make the decision based on whether you're both ready to welcome a new life.

It's a matter of perspective like I've shared above. Elderly tend to judge as they wish the next generation to carry on the family lineage. This is very typical of Asian families regardless of race or nationality. Imo, improper planning that leads to suffering of the child (physical or emotional/ psychological) is worse. End of the day, people should make decision for "themselves".