Sorry for my poor English here.

I have a sick sister (aged 21) in my family, a little bit her background, she is having learning problem which have problem on her knowledge and communication. Due to that, we applied OKU card for her.

Now, all the way back to 10 years ago, as we facing difficulty of teaching her during her learning age, we always impatient and harsh to her. In one day, she suddenly became so strange, stop eating, stop drinking, and stop whatever activity including go to toilet. That time we can feel that she got illusion like people talk bad about her, make fun of her and other similar abnormal behaviour. With all this strange behaviour, we believed she received pressure from school and family. Then we immediately brought her to hospital KL and found out not only have learning problem but also mental problem so she started treatment under one medicine (Luvox – Fluvoxamine).

After this incident, we arranged her to special education school, at the beginning is so difficult but later on she looks stable under this treatment for 5 years. We decided to stop the medication consulted by doctor. We thought everything is fine after that, but the strange behaviour came back by sudden after 3 years without medication treatment (even worse than last time, easily get angry and get mad). We have no choice but have to restart the medication treatment. This round have to take 2 different medicines, Luvox and Risperidone.

By observed in the 1st few months, we see that she become stable but she can’t control her urinary (not sure is can’t control, or she purposely, or lazy), which bring a lot of trouble to me and family – dirty the bed, her pants, and also chairs of ours and others. We doubt is Risperidone causes this, so we seek doctor approval to stop this medication.

Now problem come, while she stop taking risperidone for 6 months, the urinary thingy still continue. In one day, she got another strange behaviour where she don’t want to wake up, keep eyes closing, but not really deep sleep, for whole long day, don’t drink, don’t eat, and don’t do whatever activity, reject whatever thing is good for her. Until we force her and pull her hands and legs, then she only will move on slowly…very slowly.

My family and I had a very suffer time for this two months, totally have no idea which is good for her, we can’t even bring her to hospital now because she don’t want.

Anyone here is kind enough to advise me what can I do? I am like dying now.

Sorry to heard your story... be strong.
Do you consider to ask Dr. to visit you instead?

Have you ever consider depression?

Do not judge others. TS is looking for best approaches to comfort her sister.
It is not easy to live with someone with mental sickness over a long period of time.

The medicine prescribe is already tackling depression

Haiz, it's kinda late already.

The correct procedure:
1) Your sis should have been sent to psychology center for therapy to identify the exact cause, or to confirm it is only learning difficulty or resulted from other mental issue.
2) Never ever use medication before even giving her consultation or therapy - medicines have side effects, and it can't treat the root cause.
3) Your family should have treated her nicely to give her positive energy and motivation. She would have then be more understanding and independent.


Now, if your family still treat her as a real family member, I suggest the following:
1) Change your attitude, be nice and empower her.
2) Bring her to psychology centre for consultation to find out the root cause. You will be surprised many mental issue can be lighten or treated without medication.
3) Dpn't just feed her medication blindly. Medication is only temporary solution and never tackle the root cause.

Before TS known about his sister condition, they treat her badly, but since after that, my opinion is that the family try to give what is best to the sister.
And this is also why TS is asking here to get the best opinion to comfort and treat her sister.

Sending her sister to mental health institute will make her sister happy? I doubt so, new environment, new person, more stress actually.
The best care is still those that is provided by family with love.

Anyway, it is just the way we interpret TS's word. your point is that the family is treating her sister badly and sending to mental institute is the best way out for both the family and the sister while my opinion is that the family is doing all that they can to help her sister and is looking for advice on how to get her sister to be treated by a Dr for further examination.

Thanks for understanding.

We never know she got learning problem until we brought her to hospital. That is why we a bit harsh to her when come to learning and teaching, as we treat her like normal person. I believe every family will do the same. After this incident, we really feel so regret and we just hope she can live happily and normal without giving her pressure on her learning and act like normal person. But thing does not go that way...We are really sad and hopeless...

Bro,
so sorry to learn about it. I strongly suggest that you must not stop the medication. she seems like having Dementia and it is quite serious but do get psychiatric opinion.

Thanks for your suggestion.

I am afraid she have problem communicating with people, (eg. do not understand what people talking about, or easily misinterpret of words). I am not sure psychologist can help.

Can we arrange doctor to visit us at home? The doctor advised us if she insist don't go out, need to call ambulances to send her to hospital. I don't want this happen.

Suggest bring her to psychology centre for assessment. Just wondering which area do you live? If puchong area I can suggest Turning Point, affordable and good quality (Owner is Prof in psychology, and most staffs are buddhist). Rate around 100 something per hour, but if your finance is not good, can nego.

Try your best to recall your sis's symptoms during her childhood / teenage time. These will be very useful during assessment.
Didn't your doctor recommended your sis to engage psychology professional before prescribing medication?
Your family / relative got history of mental illness or not?

Puchong area we are ok to go. thanks for the recommendation. my family background have no mental illness.

Good, lower case of having inherited mental illness, hope your sis get well soon!

She is getting so serious now..never leave the bed from yesterday night till now. no drink no eat all day long, somemore in anger when we ask her to wake... what can I do?

anyone know any way that we can bring her to hospital? she refused to go.

I think there is no choice but to call an ambulance in the worst case scenario. If your family personally drag her to the car, you will all possibly hurt her and traumatize her.

How is it now?

I think it's not on her only. As a family maybe you guys got to encourage her. Don't sigh or react negatively in front of her. Make sure she's in a positive environment. It feels like she's in a negative environment that's why she's acting that way. Encourage what she likes. But must also be gentle. Need to be patient. Can't rush it. I mean. just my opinion.

She seems to show symptoms of bipolar disorder. You need to get her to a doctor to get treatment.

Here's something you can read up on the disorder.

https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ment...olar-disorder#1

Good luck.

I heard this caregiverAsia before but did't have any experience on it.. now is hire other center nursing care to take care of my mother
after the contract end will consider caregiverASIA

This post has been edited by X-Tra: Aug 24 2018, 04:27 PM

I am sorry to discover this thread so late. I have a son with Autism and I know that challenges that you are facing. I can advice only from my experience.

First of all, do not think she is "sick". It is not a sickness that can be cured. She most probably have some sort of high level autism that was not diagnosed and treated properly during her early childhood. As such, she got abused in school and home because people think she is just being "difficult". That trauma has manifested into serious mental disorder which she developed to cope with by staying in bed doing nothing. That is her "safezone" where no one can cause harm to her. I feel really sad as I can imagine the kind of things she has gone through for the past 21 years. I do not want to question on why she her issue was discovered so late but that is one mistake that really caused something very very hard to recover from as she is already an adult and it is very hard to teach her to live with her condition. Still, there are still a lot of things that can be done and if proper intervention can be applied she can live a better life and even be independent.

Secondly, please get her diagnosed properly what kind of "learning disorder" that she has. Send her to proper psychiatrist and NOT hospital. You can contact NASOM (google for this) and see if they can help to diagnose her condition. It is really important to find out her exact mental disorder as it could be more than one condition.

Thirdly, please know that there are no "cure" for this kind of problem. Medication cannot really cure the problem. It only suppress her mental state and sometimes it causes side effects that make things worst. The only way to deal with this is to be patient and teach her to be independent. A lot of high level autistic child are actually very smart and can do things that sometimes no normal people can do. Some became math wizard or famous artist and so on.

The most important thing is for your family to accept that she is special. Do not blame her for things that she does as she does not have the capability to act like normal people. Be kind to her and patience. Use positive enforcement to encourage her to do things. Like example, if she like chocolates, tell her you will give her chocolate if she go to toilet properly.

I have been trying to create support group for parents with autistic child for many times in this forum but Malaysians parents are just too ignorant to admit their child have this issue. This is the exact thing I was trying to teach parents and avoid late intervention. Damn it!

Every autistic child is different. Rewarding and punishment system can be adjusted accordingly. Methods that work for a child might not work for another. The family would know better and need to adjust accordingly. Also, the system will not work forever. It need to be changed to adapt to the child's age. Trust me when I said I have tried all the methods there is on my child. Sometimes it will work for a few months then it will not work anymore. However, for some, it will work well and long. As for the chocolate thing, since I do not know the whole story I will just say that do it with some thought. Don't just give him chocolates until the child become obese. Key to living like a normal human still applies. I know it is not easy and straightforward but keep on persevering. Don't give up. Whatever it is, do not ever deny that you child is special.

There are no cure to autism. Some of the child actually grew out of this when they become more mature and understand their issue. This apply to those who is not serious case. Remember there is no cure. There are claims by this person or that person eating this or that can "cure" it. You can try but do a lot of research and be skeptics about them. I don't deny maybe some medicine worked for some due to mixture of environment, condition of the child and so on.

Stay strong!

Hi all,

Thanks for all the support.

To continue the story, we actually brought her to see private psychiatry and doctor give her Olanzapine (to treat depression) and imipramine (to treat bed-wetting).

On the other side, government psychiatry double up the existing medication which is fluvoxamine from 50mg to 100mg and risperidone from 1mg to 2mg.

After all that, instead of sleeping all day long, she getting active and start eating, very good appetite, keep on eating every hour. This become a problem as well, in just 2 months’ time, she gained 15kg. Sigh….

Besides that, the wet bedding problem did not see any improvement, some more getting serious. Making everywhere dirty and smelly.

Another serious problem, her terrible anger come back. She will easily get angry including throw thing on floor when:
1) Can’t fulfill thing she demand (eg. Stop her from buying/eating; food we buy or cook is not what she like; did not bring her to place she want to go; etc)
2) Thing she cannot perform by herself (eg. Can’t open tin can; can’t put a nice hair; etc.)
3) Repeatedly question her or ask her to do something she don’t like. (eg, ask her to do some housework, ask her to clean herself due to dirty;)

Me and my family totally have no idea on how to take care of her and all of us get depressed especially my mom. Previous problem solved, but more new problems come out. We are so lost.

Sending her to nursing home is our last choice, of course we hope this day will not come.

Just my opinion, but this might be a sign that the medication is working. From your earlier post she seems to had gone catatonic, but now she had regained her motion. Tell the doctor about the temper part, because adjusting the medicine can help. Keep an eye on any patterns to her symptoms. Is it erratic? Cyclical?

As for long term care, sigh.... I have a brother with neurological problem that affects his mental abilities, and to be honest, I don't think the illness itself is the biggest problem, instead it is his behavior, and I think it is from how my parents treat him since childhood. It's too late now to reverse 20+ years of conditioning now, and I don't want to think how I will have to take care of him once my parents pass away.