QUOTE(alkw89 @ Apr 19 2018, 03:01 PM)
In my case, I held on for two years.
As long as she is around you, you will never be able to let go. You may try to avoid contact, but whenever your eyes made contact with hers, all the feelings that you have tried so hard to bury will erupt to the surface just like a volcano.
So, in my humble opinion, the best course of action is:
1. Recognise the fact that you will never be able to touch someone who never had any feeling for you and give up. There is no Korean drama or fairy tale in real life.
2. Totally cut off any connection with her.
Meanwhile, make effort to build yourself up, physically (gym maybe?) and mentally (work, hobby, part time, whatever just to stop you from thinking about her).
So true.. i would only choose option 1 tho.. option 2 is not available for me, i wouldn't want to lose her even as a friend relationship. Thanks for the opinion! As long as she is around you, you will never be able to let go. You may try to avoid contact, but whenever your eyes made contact with hers, all the feelings that you have tried so hard to bury will erupt to the surface just like a volcano.
So, in my humble opinion, the best course of action is:
1. Recognise the fact that you will never be able to touch someone who never had any feeling for you and give up. There is no Korean drama or fairy tale in real life.
2. Totally cut off any connection with her.
Meanwhile, make effort to build yourself up, physically (gym maybe?) and mentally (work, hobby, part time, whatever just to stop you from thinking about her).
QUOTE(Ralna @ Apr 21 2018, 12:59 PM)
Welcome. Most people will tell you that you can forget someone over time; it's partially true.
However, if you've loved someone deeply before, and then decided to have a closure and let go, the strong feelings and memories will fade slowly over time.
Intensity level will drop from 100% (miss her every second, even dream of her during sleep)
to 70% (miss her every 2-3 days)
to 50% (miss her every 2-3 weeks)
to 20% (miss her every few months)...
then slowly to just less than 5% (only think of her once or twice a year).
You won't completely forget her (unless you have amnesia or some brain damage), and it's okay coz it's part of your past memories.
As the intensity drops, you will have the capacity to love again (either love yourself more, or care for other people, or ready for someone new).
I've been through this phase, so I'm sharing with you. To be honest, I'm actually happy that I didn't get together with that unrequited love, coz many years later, I find out as I change and grow in life, the unrequited love and I are not compatible anymore. I don't like his lifestyle and I disagree with some things he does.
On the other hand, I find out my bf is highly compatible in terms of personality, values, goals etc, and we love each other very much. My bf is like my mentor + best friend + confidant + activity buddy + lover in bed + many more. Had I not decided to move on from this unrequited love, I wouldn't have had met my future hubby who's just so perfect and right for me.
So for you, have the confidence that life will get better as you move on gradually, and fate will bring you the one meant for you. Cheers!
It is good to hear that! Glad that you found the one that highly compatible with. Thanks for the cheer! I will stay strong and build myself up! However, if you've loved someone deeply before, and then decided to have a closure and let go, the strong feelings and memories will fade slowly over time.
Intensity level will drop from 100% (miss her every second, even dream of her during sleep)
to 70% (miss her every 2-3 days)
to 50% (miss her every 2-3 weeks)
to 20% (miss her every few months)...
then slowly to just less than 5% (only think of her once or twice a year).
You won't completely forget her (unless you have amnesia or some brain damage), and it's okay coz it's part of your past memories.
As the intensity drops, you will have the capacity to love again (either love yourself more, or care for other people, or ready for someone new).
I've been through this phase, so I'm sharing with you. To be honest, I'm actually happy that I didn't get together with that unrequited love, coz many years later, I find out as I change and grow in life, the unrequited love and I are not compatible anymore. I don't like his lifestyle and I disagree with some things he does.
On the other hand, I find out my bf is highly compatible in terms of personality, values, goals etc, and we love each other very much. My bf is like my mentor + best friend + confidant + activity buddy + lover in bed + many more. Had I not decided to move on from this unrequited love, I wouldn't have had met my future hubby who's just so perfect and right for me.
So for you, have the confidence that life will get better as you move on gradually, and fate will bring you the one meant for you. Cheers!
Apr 22 2018, 04:23 PM

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