I'm not sure if this post belongs here but if it doesn't, do move it to relevant section pls..

Bear with me,  long wall of text coming.

So,  I have this friend who has been depressed for a long time, way back before I first met her in university. Back in university, I didn't understand why she was so depressed - 80% of the time she's flaking from meet ups, going to see a movie, go limteh, etc. with our group of friends. At first she gave excuses like she's busy with assignments, no money, or just plain tired. That was when I didn't know her well.

I decided to know her more, since she's always very quiet. The more I know her, the more I feel she has "high frequency" depression. I'm not sure if i should use that term....but it feels that way. Let me explain.

She texted me more often the more she gets comfy with our friendship. From the convos we had together, I learnt how her family was abusive towards her - beats her up, controls her social circle, the course she did was picked out by her parents. Even her grades, if she gets below 85% her parents would make a huge issue out of it. At several points in time back in uni, I remembered how her parents came to uni just to talk to her lecturers on how to make her get 85% for her modules/subjects. And if the parents hear what they don't like, they'd make a huge scene in the staff room. This made my friend feel embarrassed.

Now she's graduated, her parents even chose her jobs for her, even if it's a job she didn't like. She can't say no, at least that's what she told me. If she "openly defies" her parents wishes,  her parents will publicly criticise her in front of her friends and relatives by calling her useless and worthless. Even behind closed doors, she told me how her parents still beat her up. This has affected her self-esteem greatly.

We had long conversations about how her life was before she came uni... Basically Her family have been abusive (physically and mentally) towards her way before she attended uni.

She did say she wants to get away from her abusive, controlling family because the more she stays, the worst her depression gets... I can tell because she can text me very long text messages at 3am regarding how her parents just did shit to her and she wasn't able to sleep. This is beginning to affect me as well because she didn't just text me at 3am at one time but several times already in the last 1 year or so.

I also picked up from our conversations that she has financial issues, so if she were totally get out it will be financially difficult for her. Yes, I've suggested seeking financial aid from her relatives first but even that didn't work out.

So I'm coming here to ask if there are any ways I can help, or refer her somewhere where it can really help. I've suggested Befrienders, but from what encounters I've observed after she consulted she's basically still in her "high frequency" depression.

TIA

well one thing for sure. report to gov or police.

well one thing for sure. report to gov or police.

Be there for her when she needs you;
How is she like when you're with her? Does she seem happier?
If it is that, I think its a good sign that you should spend more time with her; as you will be helping her overcoming her depression by helping her to refocus on the positive side of things;
Seems like she has low self-confidence and esteem, which stem from her family upbringing; hence I suggest helping her refocus elsewhere until she could solve her problem herself;

Do bear in mind that she is looking for a friend; nothing more; and only she could solve her own problems; what you could do as a friend is to spend time with her, take her out and make sure she has a good time, this will help boost her confidence and change her perception to look at life more positively;

This happened to a close friend of mine, it helped out for me as I do see improvements in that friend of mine.

Gosh, it's really sad to hear that...

In my opinion 1st thing she has to do is: Seek help from professional.

Psychology Centres usually have experience dealing with this kind of issue.
Throughout the consultations, they will advise the best way possible to your friend.

From there, I imagine there will be 3 ways to deal with this issue:
1) Reinforce her mental strength so she can endure the abuse without breaking down her mind (yes some people have mental breakdown when in great distress / feel too hopeless)

2) Leave the family. I believe your friend is already an adult, she definitely has the capability to survive by her own. Get a job, or seek help from shelters temporarily.

3) Get some footage of the abuses. Report to police, let the authority handle her parents. They deserve some jail time.

Hope my suggestions above can give you some idea on how to help your friend, poor thing... By the way please be extra cautious if you sense a hint of suicidal thought from your friend.

I can see she's calmer when she's around me (and a couple other of her friends). For her, she's told me how she finds it very hard to get out of her mental state of mind and her current situation. I wish I have an extra room for her to stay away from her family until she earns enough money to be able to support herself. But given how I travel around a lot it's difficult for me to layan her.

Do you know where the psychological centres are? Maybe that can be a good starting point for us to have a look.

Also, where are the temporary shelters? How do they work for a depressed adult whose salary is mediocre?

My friend does have suicidal thoughts many times before. I used to refer her to our uni counsellor for help. After graduation, I refer her to Befrienders. Any other support groups though?

Be a good listener and available for her if your routine permits. Besides that I don't think there is much you are able to do since this is a domestic and family affair. Your support is already golden.

Just wondering where do your friend stays? She can look for any established psychology centre.
I do know one psychology centre situated at Puchong where my gf intern there before, you can PM me if you need detailed info about that centre.

I suggest you to check with http://www.wao.org.my/ , an NGO named asa Pertubuhan Pertolongan Wanita. They might be able to guide you on seeking shelter for your friend.

It is lucky your friend managed to find you to cling on. You have saved your friend's live.
Then there is a greater need for her to seek help from psychology centre - at the very least they can help to minimize the suicidal thoughts.

TIA

Anyone here can share or recommend a good established psychology centre in Penang? A friend of mine there needs to seek therapy. Thank you in advance.

Can try government hospital. A bit messy & overcrowded but cheap, RM5 only.
Private one usually > RM300

I'm not sure if this post belongs here but if it doesn't, do move it to relevant section pls..

Bear with me,  long wall of text coming.

So,  I have this friend who has been depressed for a long time, way back before I first met her in university. Back in university, I didn't understand why she was so depressed - 80% of the time she's flaking from meet ups, going to see a movie, go limteh, etc. with our group of friends. At first she gave excuses like she's busy with assignments, no money, or just plain tired. That was when I didn't know her well.

I decided to know her more, since she's always very quiet. The more I know her, the more I feel she has "high frequency" depression. I'm not sure if i should use that term....but it feels that way. Let me explain.

She texted me more often the more she gets comfy with our friendship. From the convos we had together, I learnt how her family was abusive towards her - beats her up, controls her social circle, the course she did was picked out by her parents. Even her grades, if she gets below 85% her parents would make a huge issue out of it. At several points in time back in uni, I remembered how her parents came to uni just to talk to her lecturers on how to make her get 85% for her modules/subjects. And if the parents hear what they don't like, they'd make a huge scene in the staff room. This made my friend feel embarrassed.

Now she's graduated, her parents even chose her jobs for her, even if it's a job she didn't like. She can't say no, at least that's what she told me. If she "openly defies" her parents wishes,  her parents will publicly criticise her in front of her friends and relatives by calling her useless and worthless. Even behind closed doors, she told me how her parents still beat her up. This has affected her self-esteem greatly.

We had long conversations about how her life was before she came uni... Basically Her family have been abusive (physically and mentally) towards her way before she attended uni.

She did say she wants to get away from her abusive, controlling family because the more she stays, the worst her depression gets... I can tell because she can text me very long text messages at 3am regarding how her parents just did shit to her and she wasn't able to sleep. This is beginning to affect me as well because she didn't just text me at 3am at one time but several times already in the last 1 year or so.

I also picked up from our conversations that she has financial issues, so if she were totally get out it will be financially difficult for her. Yes, I've suggested seeking financial aid from her relatives first but even that didn't work out.

So I'm coming here to ask if there are any ways I can help, or refer her somewhere where it can really help. I've suggested Befrienders, but from what encounters I've observed after she consulted she's basically still in her "high frequency" depression.

TIA

This one really, really complicated....
I personally don't see how any treatment can work in this case, not when she still has to go back to the monsters den at the end of the day. Unless of course she's sedated until like zombie.

Can use law only I guess, legally separate her from her toxic parents. Anyone got legal experience here?

The only thing I can see here from my perspective is that she earns enough money to be able to move out to a new apartment away from her family...into a new life and try pick herself up.

Call police? A previous user said they won't interfere unless there is murder.
Lawyer? Do we have cases for petty, family matters? Aside from divorce and custody, that is.

I've thought of both before, but have never suggested because we will only go as last resort.

Also, I've found this from ASKLEGAL: https://asklegal.my/p/5-changes-to-malaysia...ly-hit-home.amp