we had lubricant, but to be honest, i was scared n nervous n maybe very tense too..so lubricant wont help?

You r not fully aroused yet. If you are fully aroused, your pain tolerance goes way up.

Embarrassed no sex at 24? Why? Guys prefer virgin as wives, no?

of course, when you scare and nervous, it will be more tight and more difficult to enter
probably next round you should listen to some soft music, chit chatting with your partner before get into that
the more you relax, the process will be more easier and you will be more enjoy rather than pain

u r not serious are you?
you knew the term vaginusmus, yet didnt know of hymen?
ah come on
next..

Probably due to anxiety & inexperience.


Maybe you should do more research or try masturbate???
(Try get aroused & relax)

Theres a few stages to this.

1. Pre-intercourse
- Curious, with modern media reference and hearsay attempting intercourse. Varies for different individual, some may not feel any pain at all, some may be like your case. As you are inexperience and physically not ready, would be wise to prepare lubricant to ease penetration. Get proper lubricants from phamacies, they are waterbased and does not cause issue to wounds(ie, hymen tearing). Arousal is highly important, communicate with your partner, and make sure that you are willing and is accepting with an open mind, and when you are physically aroused, vagina opens up slightly to allow easier penetration. Remember, when you are afraid, in-doubt, worried or having any kind of negative feeling, your vagina will contract, that will hurt in the first few attempt, but you will find it pleasurable in the future.

2. Post intercourse
- As you are now, worried and still curious as to what is going on and if there are adverse effect etc. Don't worry, everyone goes through what you did. It varies, but generally the same. Allow few days between next attempt, play it right and make sure you do not rush and is properly aroused both physically and mentally before next attempt. You may still feel pain but it will go away soon.

3. Exploration
- Soon, when your pain is gone, is where things gets fun. I would like to highlight, sex between female and male, is never about giving OR receiving, its BOTH, giving AND receiving. Explore yourself, find out what turns you on and what doesn't, read up for reference and knowledge but keep in mind no 2 person is the same. Some learns fast, some may take a lifetime and some never due to asian conservative culture and upbringing. Do not be ashamed to talk about it with your partner, you guys already took the first step and it falls to both your responsibility to endlessly spice up sex life so that you won't get tired of each other and maintain a healthy relationship.

This post has been edited by Hevlaska: Feb 25 2018, 04:27 AM

Congratulations on your first achievement unlocked.
No you shouldn't stop, you should continue so that you can break the mental block of feeling pain. It's all in your head, don't let this feeling eat you. Always believe there is nothing wrong with you. Over time you'll get used to it. Take it like you're digging your nose (not jk).

This thread escalated quickly. Lmao.

really?? i didnt know that

oh pleaaseee my friends all done it and im not yet
and having sex wth a virgin is not that good..

i know hymen lah
i just dont know it would be this pain
cause theres always this article on internet that painful on first intercourse is a myth bla bla
and then they say it wont bleed
they also say your hymen can also break when you sit down
so i thought oh shit i have vaginismus isit

hahaha yess! thank you darling

oh, ok
anyway, the way the hymen breaks then heals dictates the way some aspect appearance of the introitus. yes i would agree, some anxiety can contribute to the vaginismus and therefore some tightness and therefore pain.

congratulations that you ''pop your cherry'' so to speak (hope u didnt find the slang unpleasant, i meant it in a nice way )
hope it was enjoyable
always protect yourself (from hepatitis, STD, pregnancy etc)

Technically it's true. If properly stimulated and not rushed the hymen will expand and properly lubricated, hence no/little pain and no bleeding.

Problem happens when you're nervous and the dude just rush to stick it in dry without enough stimulation or considering whether you're really ready or not. Lack of control, good communication and understanding can lead to initial pain and that will increase the stress and fear and things will escalate from there onwards.

It's a tricky stuff but with interest and knowledge you will get used to it in time.

The mythbusting articles simply said it's not a requirement for virgin sex to break the hymen and cause bleeding/pain. But it's a common occurrence due to the lack of experience and knowledge. Getting it right the first time is not easy for anything especially for a considerably taboo and personal topic such as sex.

completely common.

after a few sessions then you're good to go.

meanwhile ask your partner to be gentle, direct him how to make it less painful as something he might not know how to do it (assume hes virgin too)

So you are embarrassed for not having sex at 24 and also because all of your friends have done it?

Geez....

It is normal.

Congrats on trying. Your partner and you should explore more on foreplay. Especially fingering before intercourse. It will help you to get use to the movement and size, and this prepares you both physically and mentally.

Also, try to put on relaxing or sensual music. Nine Inch Nails is not bad, Or jazz. Or Marvin Gaye’s sexual healing. Get in that groove.

Most importantly, know your body, know your limits, and explore with your partners within those boundaries. Good luck!

This section never ceases to amaze me.