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> Help. My father has a Mistress behind my mom, Which department should I call

yuna20042004
post Nov 7 2017, 05:06 PM, updated 3w ago

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My father is not divorced with my mom and had a Mistress (who's my mom's sister) behind her. They are living secretly in a house and illegally. My mom was emmited to ward recently, and when I asked my dad to come take cares of her, he came and slapped me instead. Please tell me what department can I call and report. I just wanna report about his illegal having a Mistress thing. I've tried police and they are not going to help.

This post has been edited by yuna20042004: Nov 7 2017, 05:09 PM
melt
post Nov 8 2017, 10:17 AM

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adultery is not a crime

http://www.laweddie.com/wordpress/adultery...al-in-malaysia/
ckangwei
post Nov 8 2017, 10:24 AM

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Try call the talian kasih 15999

https://www.kpwkm.gov.my/kpwkm/index.php?r=...mV2K005Mm9Hdz09

They might be able to help or advice you on this.
abubin
post Nov 8 2017, 10:54 AM

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QUOTE(yuna20042004 @ Nov 7 2017, 05:06 PM)
My father is not divorced with my mom and had a Mistress (who's my mom's sister) behind her. They are living secretly in a house and illegally. My mom was emmited to ward recently, and when I asked my dad to come take cares of her, he came and slapped me instead. Please tell me what department can I call and report. I just wanna report about his illegal having a Mistress thing.  I've tried police and they are not going to help.
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Your dad having a mistress is not ground for him to treat you bad. He should continue to treat you like his child regardless of his relationship condition with your mom. He is an asshole. You don't need to stoop to his level by trying to get even with him. Just leave him be.

Do you have other relatives? Like grandparents or uncles? People older than your dad will have better chance of talking some senses into him. You just do your parts as a child and take care of your mom. Don't tell her about your dad until she recovered. Don't stress her.
bub01
post Nov 8 2017, 02:10 PM

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QUOTE(yuna20042004 @ Nov 7 2017, 05:06 PM)
My father is not divorced with my mom and had a Mistress (who's my mom's sister) behind her. They are living secretly in a house and illegally. My mom was emmited to ward recently, and when I asked my dad to come take cares of her, he came and slapped me instead. Please tell me what department can I call and report. I just wanna report about his illegal having a Mistress thing.  I've tried police and they are not going to help.
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You are angry towards your father, I understand. However extramarital affairs are not a crime. Is was a crime in South Korea but they have decriminalised it as it is an archaic law that doesn't fit with modern society. Affairs are more common than you think and you have to understand your parents are not infallible. Human err, people change over time, likes and dislikes change in time. Even sexual orientation. Men who have been married for years with kids suddenly coming out of the closet.

Prioritise your mom, put her well being first. How serious is her illness? If it's serious, then you need to value her over your feelings of your father. Her issues are much more important that yours. Has your father been providing financial support?

Perhaps you've said things that have upset and hurt your father to result in him slapping you. You are young and angry but he is still your father. If he is still providing for you and your mother financially then it shows he still cares. Be respectful. Try not to be emotional when talking to him about the affair. Do not be shouting and swearing like those viral videos of women catching their spouses with their mistresses in hotels. If you did that then your father did the right thing in slapping you. It might hurt you but it must have hurt him more to do it.

If not, if your father has always been neglecting you and your mom then just leave him be, he's not worth being angry over. Talk to your mom how she wants to deal with your dad. Leave the emotional matter between her and your father alone. But be there for her. If your mom wants to cut ties then good, settle everything legally. Get all the monies and property divided amicably if possible and move on.
RChance
post Nov 18 2017, 12:06 AM

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QUOTE(yuna20042004 @ Nov 7 2017, 05:06 PM)
My father is not divorced with my mom and had a Mistress (who's my mom's sister) behind her. They are living secretly in a house and illegally. My mom was emmited to ward recently, and when I asked my dad to come take cares of her, he came and slapped me instead. Please tell me what department can I call and report. I just wanna report about his illegal having a Mistress thing.  I've tried police and they are not going to help.
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Sorry to say it is not a crime to have a mistress/lover/whatever you want to call it. It is morally wrong but there is no law to charge anyone in it.

It's not easy but time for you to be matured enough to lend support to your mother. If she knows she is losing her husband at least a supportive child will help her to get through it.

This is a relationship issue between your parents. You can resent your father but you cannot make the decision for your mother. Let them handle it. If she wants to divorce, support her. If she wants to fight for the marriage, she needs you even more. Respect your mother's thinking even though you might not agree with her decision. Again, this is between the husband and wife.

As a child, you can then decide what you want to be with your father. Get mad at him, listen to his story, or even ignore for the rest of your life, that is between your father and you.

Bottom line, your anger might hurt your mother even more. Do not say hurtful things to your mother (if you do not agree with her decision) or even your father that you will regret. Be the silent supporter for your mother, that will be the biggest help you can give her in this difficult times. console.gif

p/s: Advice from my own experience. Not the adultery part, the divorce part.

This post has been edited by RChance: Nov 18 2017, 12:08 AM

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