Okay...it's not me. But this is a friend of mine.

Her boyfriend courted her for two years...and they've been together for two and a half years. Which totals it to 4 and a half years of knowing each other. He's her first love...I don't know if she's his first love, but they've been together for a long time. Recently, she's been crying almost nonstop for the past week because she and her boyfriend have come to a point where neither of them see the future with each other...meaning that both of them no longer see themselves married to each other. Separate ways, that means...but they still love each other.

I don't know how to help her get out of this depression/emotional state. I mean, I'm encouraging her and telling her that she WILL get out of this state after a while...and it definitely won't be in a month's time. I mean, I cried nightly for seven months after I broke up with my first love...and this is her first love for two and a half years...it's obviously impossible to get over sooo quickly.

She feels that she's hit rock bottom and beyond with her crying. She keeps telling herself that she's stronger than this and that she knows that she should stop but she doesn't know how to. I can't relate to her properly because I hated my ex when we broke up...she still loves him, he still loves her, but they want to go separate ways because they no longer see themselves married to each other. She can't hate him the way I hated my ex and became an angry person to get over it.

She's been trying not to think about it...every day she comes online and talks with people. But, once she runs out of people to talk with, she starts thinking about it again and ends up crying for the rest of the day. She says she looks awful now...and I can't really blame her for feeling this way. I reckon I'd probably do the same thing if I'd been with a guy for that long...and he's my first love...and four and a half years later you both realize that you probably won't be marrying each other. I just can't empathize with her...I don't know what to say to her because I've never experienced it myself.

Does anybody have any similar experience? Can you help me help her?

I'd take her out...but I live in Japan and she's studying college in Australia. I'm trying to be there for her all the time (as it is I'm online every single day)...her blog posts are getting kinda angry at herself for being like this and give me a sort of gauge for what she's feeling right now. She says she's lost.

I don't know whose decision it was to split...and I don't know what her situation with him is right now because I was under the assumption that they were living together. She's a little bit on the needy, clingy side...but not overly so. I don't know what happened...but they've decided that they're going to do their own things even though they still love each other.

I guess this is one of those things where "I love you but I can't be with you" comes in. I always said that thinking too far into the future can be a killer for relationships. She's 20 and I think he's that age too. I don't know him that well.

i think i kinda understand why they break up although they still love each other very much.
i have experience this for two times in my life. but i am not sure if their situation are same as mine.
i had beeen wit my first ex for almost two years. we love each other but at the end we break up. why? it is because of the guy cant take responsibility to marry me in the future. and he cant promise our future together. so in the end we break up.
Second ex, we been together for 9 months. still the same reason. and break up.

the only advice is choose carefully before u fall in love to someone, understand them more first. coz most of the ppl is covered by a mask... take care...

No offense but you're thinking about marriage after being together for 9 months?

I too think theres no such thing as complete honesty in a relationship. Some things should be kept under the rug, if you dont want it in your face.

UPDATE:
Okay, so it turns out that my friend had been going through her bf's msn chat histories and found out some stuff that she probably wasn't supposed to find out. She confronted him about it, during which he swore he never cheated on her. Then he had bought another sim card just to call his friend...and she blurted out the B word (Breakup). More fighting...and then he got fed up and just said "Okaylah if that's what you want, FINE!". She talked to him later about it and gave him the decision to make: break or not. He is to give his answer on Friday or something, but he still can't decide whether he wants to go or stay.

Now here's the thing...she knows she was wrong for invading his privacy but she wants to know why he couldn't be more honest with her. I personally think that there's no such thing as complete honesty in a relationship...but she's in a really bad shape right now...

Nothing wrong with that. If it feels right, then get with the program.
Nothing should be kept under the rug, if you don't want to know about the ugly side of your partner from your partner, you're going to find it out from someone else. Take your pick.
ok spunkberry, in Cupid's Corner, there's really only 1 way for a woman to forget her useless boyfriend, and that is to spend the day with spanker! Yes you heard that right, spanker is da man to show you there's more to life than that loser you were dating, and you'll find out that shopping is actually boring, and finding leeches on you while rafting is fun! Not only that, he'd bring you go skydiving and bungee jumping just fo sh*tz and giggles.

But it's too bad she ain't in malaysia