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Serious Relationship Ending...
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cursed
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 Mar 31 2007, 12:10 PM
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mmm...this is quite a depressing story...after years of loving each other..they decide to split up?whos idea was that?most prolly its the guy..perhaps he decides that hes bored..thats an assumption..but perhaps in this situation try to do this
A)if it meant to be then its meant to be...dont let her mop,like the previous poster said...be her ear,take her out and encourage that the world doesnt end if they split...perhaps introduce her to new frenz..and whenever she needs to talk try to be there for her..
B)if she still wants him in her life...then thats hard..but perhaps suggest to her that she should talk thru her problems wif her bf....see whats the root of why they wish to split..perhaps its been to long??..perhaps a suggestion to take a break and perhaps it'll be all better after it..but i guess ur fren is very emotional and sensitive to this matter considering its her first love..
but dont let her feel lonely..no matter wat happens..try to convince her not to do the unthinkable..wounds will heal but a broken heart will never mend..it takes months or even years..like i said.."if its meant to be then she has to accept reality..dont let her fall..when it happens..try to be supportive and let her get back on her two feet on her own..knowing she has a fren like u to lend an ear too..she'll be fine..though be patient wif her and try to show her new things or new frenz..dont do things that reminds her of her relationship(if they split).
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cursed
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Mar 31 2007, 12:30 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 31 2007, 12:14 PM) I'd take her out...but I live in Japan and she's studying college in Australia. I'm trying to be there for her all the time (as it is I'm online every single day)...her blog posts are getting kinda angry at herself for being like this and give me a sort of gauge for what she's feeling right now. She says she's lost. I don't know whose decision it was to split...and I don't know what her situation with him is right now because I was under the assumption that they were living together. She's a little bit on the needy, clingy side...but not overly so. I don't know what happened...but they've decided that they're going to do their own things even though they still love each other. I guess this is one of those things where "I love you but I can't be with you" comes in. I always said that thinking too far into the future can be a killer for relationships. She's 20 and I think he's that age too. I don't know him that well. lets see..judging by this...being needy thats hard to deal wif...a needy person tends to ask for more attention..but if shes not overly then fine..perhaps if i would give it the clearer picture..perhaps the bf found bout her needy personality..like every other thread i read in this forum..its very hard for her to be seperated from him even though hasnt see him for a day or two or weeks..but perhaps the guy couldnt take it nemore..but he didnt want to break her heart..if it was meant to be then its really meant to be..but if ur so far away...thats even harder.. if shes blaming herself...thats prolly wrong but some ways rite..but i'm not asking u to ask her to change her personality..thats a tough ask to do...shes 20..still young..every 1st love tends to be yes he/she is my only one that i would want to be wif and marry too..but when shes so into her relationship and this sort of thing happens..for sure shes's lost..she doesnt know what to do..what i advise is if she knows how was ur first love was..but then u were angry wif ur ex bf..then its kinda hard to convince ....tell her dont blame herself..this is reality..we have to accept the good and bad..no matter the consequences..we have to take it wif chin up and try to move on.. |
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cursed
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Mar 31 2007, 12:53 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 31 2007, 12:49 PM) lol I don't watch that much drama on tv. actually...I hardly watch tv. that wouldnt be a suprise...u wouldnt be able to understand whats happening  but seriously...like i said bfore...always try to be there for her when she needs it the most..most importantly...ask her to think things through and tell her crying does not help the situation..tell her to be strong no matter what the outcome is. cuz the grass is always greener on the other side.  |
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cursed
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Mar 31 2007, 12:55 PM
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QUOTE(-br0k3n- @ Mar 31 2007, 12:54 PM) Fuyoh!!!! Tat mean u r a realistic ppl. U should show it to ur fren ah?..show wat liao ?...show her dont watch tv ah  !!!!!!! or show her to be more realistic izzit  |
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cursed
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Mar 31 2007, 01:03 PM
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QUOTE(-br0k3n- @ Mar 31 2007, 12:56 PM) Of course lah, show him dunwatch tv, dun think will work out.... LOL!!  i know what u mean now... QUOTE(spunkberry @ Mar 31 2007, 12:59 PM) hahaha thanks cursed. I told her that my ear is always open for her to pour her thoughts into.  np hope it turns out okay..if u need help trying to convincing her..ask me for  |
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cursed
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Apr 2 2007, 11:03 AM
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QUOTE(spanker @ Apr 2 2007, 10:02 AM) Nothing wrong with that. If it feels right, then get with the program. Nothing should be kept under the rug, if you don't want to know about the ugly side of your partner from your partner, you're going to find it out from someone else. Take your pick. ok spunkberry, in Cupid's Corner, there's really only 1 way for a woman to forget her useless boyfriend, and that is to spend the day with spanker! Yes you heard that right, spanker is da man to show you there's more to life than that loser you were dating, and you'll find out that shopping is actually boring, and finding leeches on you while rafting is fun! Not only that, he'd bring you go skydiving and bungee jumping just fo sh*tz and giggles. But it's too bad she ain't in malaysia LOL!!! how is that gonna help wif the situation man.... neway she was well wrong to invade one's privacy..but its wrong for the guy to be a two timing as well....but why does she leave it to her bf to make the decision..if she is furious wif the matter..just break it up then..no point getting hurt later..i hope she just gets over him and let time takes its place..she will be okay.. |
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cursed
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Apr 2 2007, 04:23 PM
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I've Already Mentioned Bfore...Lol..As A guy wif a guy's thinking obviously there are most guys who would lie themselves out of trouble when their caught..honestly i did not do this wif my relationship bfore..but i have heard alot of these stories...wat i said in my previous post...never leave it too late cuz its gonna hurt her more...so tell ya fren to let him go..there are better things out there..
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cursed
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Apr 2 2007, 05:23 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 2 2007, 05:10 PM) I highly doubt he's been two-timing her...but I do know that she does get her hackles raised whenever he talks to another girl behind her back. I don't get why he has to sneak around with girls on the phone...maybe you guys are right. Maybe he really IS two-timing her..but he swears he isn't. It's been four and a half years you know...that's a long time to be with someone you're half interested in.. sneaking around when girls around??..that suspicious and proves my point..were all liars and two faces..well most are !!! so perhaps hes just bored wif the relationship and decide...rite she wouldnt know i would be two timing her and decides to go on a woman hunt...typical two timers..sneaking around when a girl is calling..cuz he doesnt want both parties to find out bout each other..or else he'll be hearing echos sooner then later... |
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cursed
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Apr 3 2007, 06:09 PM
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yeah like rourou said..i hope ur fren doesnt linger or debate on this issue..if it's time to let go..its time then...
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cursed
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Apr 4 2007, 07:13 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 4 2007, 04:51 PM) I asked her why she was giving him so much power....the decision to split. I told her that she should be the one deciding too...and she said she wants to stay in it so now she's waiting for his answer. I told her that if she wants out, she'd better do it now. I've been talking to her almost everyday and she's been telling me everything she feels like play-by-play so I think she's getting through it quite well right now...still crying every day but that's normal. soooo she broke up wif him then?..wat u mean play by play? btw off topic: u stole one of my siggy ...so u like trance too  rare to see malaysians like trance |
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cursed
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Apr 5 2007, 03:39 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 4 2007, 08:17 PM) play-by-play means every step...like every time her mood changes she tells me. she hasn't broken up wiht him because she obviously wants to stay with him. it's all up to him now. yes I do like trance. most malaysians like trance only when they can do the melbourne shuffle. I can't do the shuffle...lol oh rite i see...lol i dont need to do the melbourne shuffle..i just can enjoy listening to trance everyday if i have too..and i enjoy going for raves ...too bad there are so few in this country  !! QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 5 2007, 08:10 AM) hahaha she's still waiting for his answer I think...while a problem of my own cropped up. aww...if u would like to share wif us we could offer some advise ! hope its not such a big problem |
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cursed
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Apr 5 2007, 08:13 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 5 2007, 05:26 PM) read the long distance relationship thread.. well thats tragic..(read ur problem) dont worry...perhaps ur path will converge in the future.. though i guess ur parents would be worried bout u emotinally LDR is never easy.. neway back to topic..how is ur fren handling? |
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cursed
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Apr 7 2007, 11:56 AM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 7 2007, 09:06 AM) she's handling much better these days...I'm quite proud of her actually. thats good to hear  |
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cursed
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Apr 8 2007, 10:05 PM
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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Apr 8 2007, 07:38 PM) she hasn't been coming online lately...I think it's cos she's back in KL now. while I have to slog away at schoolwork...damn.. she is?..oh then ask her to contact me !!!..lol i give her a heart-to-heart talk then thank goodness my homework/assignments are almost over..but thats till september  |
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