I never gave on getting equal earnings.. some months i hit beyond her but so hard so many effort not consistent..   pressure sometimes... but i wanted to be myself.. but I know cannot be so below expectation.. must strive 

I m plotting surprise in career to boost way beyond her not letting her know only times come

You are focusing on the wrong thing. If you are focusing on the right thing, everything falls into place itself.

What you need to focus now is none other than yourself. Invest in yourself.
Learn new skills, keep working on what you love doing and be the very best version you can be.

Here's why.
1) If you love what you are doing, likely you will be good at what you are doing. If you are really good at what you are doing. As long as it has values in marketplace, likely you will get paid for it. Even clowns get paid very well. Given you are good at it. I'm not joking.
2) It's not so much about how much you can make. It's about how confident you are about your skills and making a living out of it. That's security. I have learned this from a guy that spends 10 years in IT field. He is kinda Sherlock Holmes there. To him, there is no good economy nor bad economy. It's just a matter of more money or less money.
3) Now if you have something that gives you confidence in yourself; you are knowledgeable. You are contented. You are esteemed. You are confident. Most importantly, you complain less. When you talk, you know what you are talking and you talk with aura that attracts people. You may not attract everyone, but you will certainly attract like minded people that share the same values.

Here's a little principles I keep that might be useful to you. Expect  from none others but yourself. Don't expect women will magically change. If ever women change how they feel about you, it's definitely something you change on yourself. If you love the changes you made on yourself, you will not be frustrated if you don't get the attention you want as you would be as satisfied. Expect from none others but yourself.