When my wife and I got married, I was dirt poor - I just started work after I returned from my studies overseas, she had been working a couple of years before that, so when you rattled the piggy bank, you could literally hear the coins banging against the walls.

Her mother and father didn't ask for anything other than whatever we could afford to give - in order to save face, my wife "paid" her own 聘金 (betrothal gold) - RM5,000 of her hard earned savings. We had a simple wedding and the generosity of our friends & family easily helped us cover the cost of the banquet/ceremony.

We've been married 25 years now. And in that time, our fortunes improved. But I never forgot neither my wife's generosity nor the generosity of my father & mother-in-law, who made it so simple and easy for me & demanded nothing more than for me to be true to their daughter.

When I received my first bonus, I bought plane tickets for my father & mother in law to fly back to their ancestral home in China. It was an emotional time for them, because they hadn't been back for many decades. I was happy to say that I continued to send them on fully-paid holidays annually for many years until my father in law passed away 10 years ago.

When I made my first million, I bought my mother in law a house in her home town back in Ipoh. The house she was staying in previously had become a bit run down, and with my father in law's passing, there was no one left to help with the repairs. I remember I paid RM 400,000 for the property - big, landed double storey place with a large porch. The look on her face was worth every ringgit.

Till this day, my mother in law receives a monthly stipend of RM10,000 - transferred directly by giro into her bank account, by a grateful son-in-law, who never forgot and always appreciated her (and her late husband's) gesture of not demanding a large 聘金 all those years ago.

The money saved from not having to be burdened by a ridiculous 聘金 amount & an expensive, show-off wedding all those years ago set us on a debt-free path, and helped the marriage off to a wonderful start with the right priorities.

My only regret is that my father in law passed away too soon, and that I was denied the opportunity to give him even more - totally deserved and rightfully earned by his simple gesture of love and understanding 25 years ago.

No, my friend, I'm in my 40's. We got ROM'ed just fresh out of school, the traditional wedding (the one I was talking about) was about 5 years later, after I'd returned from my overseas studies. So, I suppose I should clarify: ROM/civil marriage - 25 years, traditional wedding (the one that actually matters to the Chinese) - some 20 years ago.