be firm la....just discuss with your gf, show her how much you could afford, and tell her your future budget, she will understand one lah... Once she agreed with that amount, you need to act firm. Just send the dowry maybe plus a flower hamper things like that to make it looks decent. Dun have to tell ur inlaw la....usually reasonable one would be around 10k lah, just make the figure nice eg 8888 (example lah)

If inlaw not happy who cares la...nvm la, how long they can be unhappy about? one week? 2 weeks? but you save ur a$$ of getting financial troubles for YEARS u know... Most important is agreement between you and your gf...if your gf supportive, can ask her to share a bit burden la, after all the money will come back to her one later...face not important la between two of u, most important is understandings between you both.

wedding dinner lagi easy to settle if in one place. Mine 3 places, run here and there almost 2.5 weeks craazy...Spread out la, father side wanted to do in town A my grandparents there (they cant move far due to knee problem) , father tanggung everything la...inlaw wanted to do in town B, they paid everything and get angpao all lah...town C i tanggung everything la... then you not be too burdened, just like attending event like that, after all only show-off nia, wedding just an event, tho many girls X agree...this you dun have to tell your gf lah, every girl same, what bullSh1t once in lifetime event, all wedding.company.suck3r marketing effect.

haha...1.4k in PJ considered ok d lo..see your friends and relatives status la, usually PJ ok kot...for me i usually give 2-3xx if i attend, depends on place also, if higher class restaurant, then maybe 400..the most i give 1k so far, that's also becoz inlaw wedding.

one 200 ten persons already 2k, can cover lah...i think seldom ppl give <100 in PJ (at least not my friends) that's too kiamsiap and you may need to consider your friends cycle.

wedding place you like lah, ur wedding bah, as long as u and gf agreed, parents and inlaw okay, then settle. Who cares about relatives/friends talking, can come then come lah, cannot then nvm la...you just need to be firm, if others cant.