well bro, i think you are just not financially ready
all these should be discussed slow and calm, you should have expected

there is no way that cainis never pay dowry, and it is not just money alone, it includes jewels, wedding tables, food and gifts. (not sure what we call dowry from the male side)


my in-law last time is demanding too, my wife sided me and her being a middleman negotiated with her parent

i can afford what they requested but it is unreasonable for her family standard, probably thats why my wife sided me
result is not perfect but at least both side feel okay-ish