If your in-laws not wealthy type of ppl, usually they use the dowry to buy gold for their daughter and for u when doing the tea ceremony time.

Dowry in the range of 3k to 5k is reasonable and usually that's the figure to buy some gold. This from my family experience.

If you however unable to afford it or their demand figure is quite high, try calmly discuss with your wife and nego with ur in-law.

Wedding indeed spent ALOT of money, usually all little little accumulate till skyrocket figure