Young man, if there is already talks and people playing the "i'm walking out" card even before you're married - this is not a good sign already.

Worst yet - how could your gf not be on your side? Are you really sure you picked the correct one?

Personally, i have very strong financial standing, yet i do not get bullied into a sticky situation like this, don't you know how to stand your ground? It's only AFTER my wedding that i started with the gifts of property, cars, and medical insurances to the in-laws.

ps- maybe it's the culture of the lesser income, but why do you put an emphasis on "breaking even" for your wedding tables? Just don't put expectation on this.

All my known friends and social group expects nothing back, because it's an honor to have my invited guest come to my dinner. (each table cost 4.8k - and i just let the inlaw side to collect and keep it for themselves)

Point is, don't get bullied into a wedding just because of your current circumstances, man the fuck up and know what you want with your life.