I didn't know marriage can be so expensive.

I only wanted a simple marriage but ended needing to expense for this and that. The in laws want it this way, my family want it another and my fiancée want it this way.

I try to save cost wanting a simple church and banquet but end up it becoming more complex for me. More complex for me is that I try to say it as tactful as I can to save cost, even justify to save money for future as my housing loan is coming up and I don't have a lot of disposable income left.

I think weddings are important but don't want to spend too much on it, as I more eager to invest into marriage than wedding as the wedding profits the photographers, bridal houses and restaurants.

Now I have another new conflict, the dowry. I have totally thought that it was not required afterall I am a Chinese. But now my future in laws are asking for dowry. It became a big issue and they appear not happy with me, because I was thinking of giving presents to them instead of money. This has caused tension between me and my gf.

Sigh, I am not good at communicating with people end up say things I don't mean. But I am finding it tough going to organize a wedding.

I think by the time the wedding is over, the money can buy a pesona. Bye bye $$$. If I don't spend one pesona my gf will be extremely mad at me. Sometime I wish I am born a woman, it so tough being a man.

i'm surprise that u actually thought dowry is not needed in chinese wedding.

u see, this dowry thingy really depends on girl family side. if u are lucky, ur in-laws will be very considerate, but that doesn't mean u dun have to pay at all. it is a chinese tradition to pay dowry to the girl family. this kinda thing, best is dun skip, else many many years later sure keep talking wan. however, the amount to pay is very much depending on the in-laws and their family culture. if they insist, there's really no choice but to sit down and discuss over for the best amount that both side can tolerate. marriage, after all, is both family's problem, dun blame, else will be very toxic to the marriage later on.

in my case, in-laws very cincai... she knows it's tough for me that time as that year alone was my marriage + new house move in... all were money and mostly in cash term. they did not demand high dowry, however, the other chinese tradition stuffs cannot skip, for example, the roasted pig must have...

luckily, my wife is very supportive and totally stand in line with me. we even considered no wedding dinner at all, but we did it anyway, for that once in a lifetime experience

though i'm not sure how much they actually demand for, but i do hope it's settle as soon as possible. may u have a happy marriage. enjoy the process... u will be glad when it's finally over.

that's really rare then if both side are chinese family

Its a tradition.

You take people's daughter go home to sleep/work/make baby,  you have to leave some token of gratitude behind.
In ancient time that means they might only see their daughter once a year or never again.

Not like modern days.