So I was having sex the other day and I was starting to get tired so I asked the girl to "Get on top".

To which she replied, "You haven't raped many girls before have you?"

Just seen this advert on Pornhub: "Learn how to get a 12 inch c0ck by simply ringing this number".

I rung it.

A nigger called Leroy answered asking what time he should come round.

So, while playing online, I ended up chatting with this chick who was on the same guild.

She asked me if I wanted to "catch up for a drink and may be play some naughty one-on-one games offline".

Yeah, right ... like that's going to help me gain XP to level up.

Breaking news -

Wayne Rooney has ruled out a move to Juventus after he found out that the "The Old Lady" is just a nickname

"Hello handsome... wanna buy a girl a drink?"

"Er... no thanks... no offence or anything, but you're not my type."

"Are you calling me ugly?"

"I didn't say that, did I? No, you're just not my type, that's all".

"What do you mean?"

"Well... some guys only like blondes, some girls only like tall guys... you know? Everyone has their preferences."

"It's my weight, isn't it?"

"Who said anything about weight? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? No, I just have a very, very particular taste in women, that drives me crazy with desire when I see it. And if a woman doesn't fit my type exactly, I'm just not interested."

"So what exactly IS your type?"

"Slim and pretty."

Jimmy texted to his hateful boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"

He answered, "I don't know."

Jimmy replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."

---

Added on October 27, 2010, 9:40 pm
In an office, a man whispers something to his friend when their boss at the otherside of the room says, "I think you did that a bit louder than you realised."

"Ok, you heard me, I'm going to get fired anyway, so I may as well tell you that I was also the one who smashed up your car, and I've been pissing in your drink for the last 6 months."

The boss is in complete shock by this stage and replies,"I was talking about whoever farted."

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Oct 27 2010, 09:40 PM

A man was prescribed V1agra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex.

The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his wife to get home from work. An hour before she was due home, he took the V-pill.

But just as he was expecting her, she called to say that she wouldn't be in for another 2 1/2 hours.

In panic, he phoned the doctor. "what should I do? he asked. "I've taken the pull but the effects will have to worn off by the time my wife gets home."

"I see," said the doctor. "It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a maid?"

"Yes."

"Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?"

"But I don't need V1agra with the maid."

Hey, I missed out the 2500th post

Emo Post:
Thank you all for following this thread, 3 years is passed quite fast. If I ever offended someone with these jokes, I apologized now. Sometimes I chooses not to reply in this thread not because I am rude, but I just figure I let others or you to figure it out rather than me spoiling the joke. I do hope you guys enjoy this thread.

I did consider whether to continue V2 as reading too much jokes makes reposta or being shouted reposta. And reading too much jokes sometimes makes me maimed at jokes.... But thanks to you guys encouragement.... I did decide to continue V2.

Non emo:
OK, jokes are suppose to be fun!!! Lets make new fun at relationships... all post are welcome

new house:
http://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=1618700

thank you barry barry much.... noted!