Yeah. No.

Maybe young.


Most people around me still cannot differentiate "acceptable", "condoning" and "I'll do it".

@sassyset you beat me to the Penal Code difference! hahahaha
ah well, there'll always be ignorance! Just have to live with it and move on I guess!

1: Denial, no. Attracted mah... Can't change the fact that you are attracted right?
2: Fight? Depends. It's like how you have a certain affinity to some food, and others you try to avoid. Gotta ask yourself about it.
3: Follow your heart? My heart tells me to smile subconciously whenever i see that person, whenever she talks, whenever she smiles. Am i attracted? Yeah. Will my heart push me to pursue this person? Most probably not. Reason being she's not the one that can help fulfill my life goals.

Still doesn't change the fact that you are relating to a person, an individual , whenever you establish a certain communication with them.

That's our definition.

But for most, they will immediately conclude you are a LGBT when you state that LGBT is acceptable.

Hahahaha, too true that! And you'd be surprised at how many people who seem so liberal and relaxed are actually quite scarily LGBT-phobic! Have met some people like that and it always makes me laugh coz they don't know I am on the B side hahahaha! Think that if I ever did become open about it, would probably lose a few friends!

wow, my kind of girl.. 
always love watching two beautiful women kiss   

Still gain some mar. Albeit newer a bit la.

Malaysia, and to a certain extent, the rest of the world is very binary! Everything must fit neatly into its pigeonhole but there's more to life than that and people are slowly realising this.
Good on you @sassyset! I too prefer transwomen and women but there are some guys out there.... mmmmmm! hehehe

Good thread... Actually I feel that lgbt people are more honest than most of the straight ones...

*raise hand*
I have a question regarding pan-sexual. I̶s̶ ̶T̶e̶f̶a̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶C̶h̶e̶f̶l̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶?̶ So when you say you're attracted to the person instead of their gender, how is it any different from a bi? Does that mean they are attracted in a non sexual way or the I-wanna-bang-u-allday-erryday?

I'm a sexual atheist. I don't believe I'll get laid anytime in this lifetime.

My guess, Bi is more about sexual identity while pan is more about gender identity

i.e bi will talk about desire more while pan talk about personality more

Some number to call for supports, especially to those that suffer tremendous stress because of their identity issues

Befrienders.org
KL / Selangor
03-79568144 or 03-79568145

Malacca
06-2842500

Penang
04-2815161 / 04-2811108

Ipoh
05-5477933 / 05-5477599

Seremban
06-7653588 / 06-7653589

Lifeline Association of Malaysia
Counselling tel: 03-92850039 / 03-92850049 / 03-92850279

AGAPE Counselling Centre Malaysia
Counselling Hotline: 03-77855955 / 03-77855689 / 03-77810800

Directory of Counselling Service
MMHA Directory

I don't get it.. Why do people just like to provoke each other...
We already proved that he couldn't differentiate between Law and the constitution..
You just had to piss him off by provoking don't you...

Sorry, I just thought that there should be people who will take care of the rabid dogs before they start biting everyone.

Nah, I use a metaphorical stick (in the guise of verbal comebacks) to hit it.

Oh well, someone has to take the fall while trying to shoo the rabid dog away.

It might as well be me (who gets bitten), as long someone does the right thing.

But to avoid the thread getting nuked, I'll refrain myself.

On a side note, I can't believe the rabid dogs are loved by those in the control room with nukes. Oh well. I apologize for the verbal violence (although I thought I made it so that the rabid dog would have a soft landing).

Sorry.

Promotion time! Read my signature.

(I know this is off-topic, won't happen again)

Not sure are you a Chinese, or interested in Chinese philosophical ideas, there is a 2500 year old teaching:
By Doing nothing, you are doing everything (无为而无不为)

Most of the time, this idea work great on most situation.

A rabid dog running around, biting randomly. If you react to it's rabidness, then the dog get entertained, and continuing running around biting.
HOWEVER, if you decided to do nothing, the dog will eventually looses his interest at us, and wander away.

Just a penny for your though

Tips for you as a LGBTIQPA to enjoy with the community

1. Tell stories—yours and other people's. Believe it or not, telling your story is one of the most powerful ways you can change hearts and minds. If you're LGBT yourself, talk about the journey you've been on: Did you have trouble accepting yourself? Have you ever been a victim of misunderstandings by other Christians? Don't be afraid to share the positives and the negatives of your journey. The more you open up, the better they'll come to understand.

If you're a straight ally, share why you got interested in this subject, and why it matters so much to you. Straight allies' stories are incredibly powerful forces in building bridges, so even if you don't think your story is important, it is! You can also introduce the stories of LGBT folks you know, or share books or films in which LGBT people tell their stories.

2. Don't be afraid of the Bible. (OR any holly scriptures) Does the other person seem to know the Bible better than you do? That's okay. You don't have to be a Bible scholar to have a favorite story or passage that speaks to why you Believe Out Loud. Maybe it's a story about how Jesus treated the outcasts of his day. Or a passage about the importance of love. One of my personal favorites is Romans 13:8-10.

3. Don't get sucked into a Bible debate. (OR any theological debate) For many conservative Christians, the Bible is at the heart of this issue, and it's important to acknowledge that. But Bible debates rarely change minds. Don't try to win points by arguing about Bible interpretation and translation; you'll only cause the other person to dig their heels in more. Instead, let them explain why they believe what they do, and then share about how your journey brought you to the conclusions you now have. Focus on the human side of the issue; stories are almost always more effective than arguments at encouraging productive dialogue—and chances are, the real reason you're passionate about this issue has to do with someone's story.

4. Respect their theological background. It can be tempting, if you disagree with their basic theological assumptions, to try to challenge them on all of it—arguing, for instance, about whether the Bible can be read literally or whether such-and-such passage was actually written by Paul (or for that matter, whether anything Paul says should be binding on today's Christians). But this strategy tends to backfire; if they think you're asking them to give up their understanding of the Bible, they'll only dig in their heels further.

Instead, look for ways to convince them to rethink the LGBT conversation from within their own faith background, whatever that may be. Even the most conservative Bible literalist can work on ways to be more LGBT-friendly, and this is the approach I take in conversations on my blog and elsewhere.

5. Take baby steps. As much as you might like for the other person to instantly come around to your way of thinking, that rarely if ever happens. At times, you have to "agree to disagree" on some points in order to make progress on others. Okay, maybe this person doesn't agree with your position on marriage equality, but if you can agree to disagree on that point and still convince them not to disown their gay child, that's worth celebrating. Don't expect "all or nothing." Focus on what's most important in a given situation.

Above all, don't give up. These conversations aren't always easy, but they're important. And if all else fails, give them a copy of GCN's film Through My Eyes or my new book TORN and invite their feedback. These are tools designed especially for opening doors for conversation with conservative Christians, and you just might be surprised what a simple, gracious conversation can accomplish.

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Tips for you to be an Ally to your LGBTIQPA friends

Seeing Gay and Lesbian People as People
1. Respect their humanity. This is the most important part of understanding gay and lesbian people. They are as complex and unique as anyone else, and they have dreams, goals, and passions that are much more central to their identities than the gender they are attracted to. If you feel you understand straight people, then you are well on your way to understanding gay and lesbian people as well.

2. Dismiss stereotypes. Some gay and lesbian people fit into all the popular stereotypes, some fit into none of them, and most fit into some, but not all. Some straight people “seem gay,” and some gay people “seem straight.” There is no sure-fire way to tell someone’s sexual orientation by looking at her, listening to the way she speaks, or watching her mannerisms. The more you learn to let go of stereotypes, the easier it will be to begin seeing LGBT+ people as people.

3 Rein in your ego. Just as you are not attracted to every single member of the opposite sex, gay people are not attracted to every single member of their own sex. You might not be their type. Do not assume a gay person is attracted to you just because she shares your gender. She probably isn't.

4. Interact with LGBTIQPA people. Studies have shown that people with homophobic beliefs report having less personal interaction with gay and lesbian people.[1] Having LGBT+ people in your life will make it much easier to see them as regular people like you, and not as mysterious aberrations. If this is impossible, you might try reading books or watching television shows and movies with gay characters, or watching documentaries about LGBT+ issues.

Realizing It’s Not a Choice
1. Investigate what the scientific community has to say. While some individuals may insist that sexual orientation can be changed, virtually all major mental health organizations have released statements asserting that this is not the case, and cautioning against treatments that purport to “convert” LGBT people. Some states have even banned gay “conversion therapy” in response to scientific evidence suggesting such therapy may actually be damaging or abusive.

2. Research objective information about the “ex-gay” movement. Even among the ex-gay community, few believe complete conversion is possible. Many ex-gay organizations have shut down in recent years, and admitted that they could not “cure” gay people of their homosexuality. There is no meaningful scientific evidence that people who are not attracted to the opposite sex can be converted to heterosexuality. On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence that attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation can have a profoundly damaging impact.

3. Think about why someone would choose to be gay. While life has improved greatly for LGBT+ Americans over the last couple decades, many gay and lesbian people suffer greatly because of their sexual orientation. About 40% of homeless youth are LGBT+-identified, and 68% of those reported family rejection as a major factor. LGBT youth are 4 times more likely than heterosexual youth to attempt suicide. They also experience higher levels of bullying, substance abuse, and sexual assault. There are many countries where homosexuality is illegal, or even punishable by death. Bearing all this in mind, ask yourself, “Why would these people chose to be LGBT?”

Changing How You Think About Homosexuality
1. Understand it’s not all about sex. You don’t ask your straight friends about their kinks and fetishes, because it’s none of your business and shouldn't affect the way you think of or treat them. Whether or not you “get” what a person does in the bedroom with other consenting adults shouldn't influence whether you feel you understand her as a human being. Sex is a very small part of what being LGBT+ means to most LGBT+ people, and you shouldn't fixate on it.

2. Acknowledge the difference between homosexuality and paedophilia. It is an all-too-common misconception that homosexual people are a danger to children. Fortunately, this belief is waning; in 1970, a national poll found that 70% of Americans saw homosexual people as dangerous to youth, while in 1999 only 19% of heterosexual men and 10% of heterosexual women held such beliefs. Gay and lesbian people are people who are attracted to and/or form sexual and/or romantic relationships with adults of their same gender; many child molesters, on the other hand, are not oriented toward a particular gender so much as a particular age. In a 1978 study of 175 men convicted of child molestation, none of them identified as homosexual. A similar study in 1992 found that only 2 perpetrators of child sexual abuse out of the 269 surveyed were homosexuality. Many studies along these lines have been conducted, and all have failed to find any correlation between homosexuality and child abuse.

3. Learn about different religious attitudes. Many people who harbour homophobic views do so on religious grounds. There are, however, a number of religions and religious sects that are accepting of LGBT+ people. These include the United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalists, Quakers, and Reform and Conservative Judaism. For other groups, such as Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, and Episcopalians, it is still a matter of debate, with some followers in favor of acceptance, and others against it. Even within faiths such as Catholicism, Islam, and Orthodox Judaism, one can find individual believers who interpret their faith in various ways. Your faith is your business, and you are free to believe what you want. This should not, however, lead you to treat people with respect or cruelty. Leave judging to God.

4. Fake it till you make it. This process does not happen overnight, and even with the best of intentions you may still find yourself uncomfortable with or confused by homosexuality. This will change with time if you continue to work at it. In the meantime, however, the most important thing is to treat gay and lesbian people with respect and dignity. If you do this regularly, you will probably find your understanding of gay and lesbian people evolves naturally.

Interacting with Gay and Lesbian People
1. Give them their privacy. The decision to come out is a personal one. If you suspect someone you know is gay or lesbian, don't just ask them about it out of nowhere. If this is something they want to talk about with you, they will bring it up themselves.

2. React kindly if someone tells you they are gay. If someone comes out to you, don’t say, “Ew, really?” or “Uhhh, ok,” or even, “Yeah, I know.” Coming out can be scary and vulnerable. If someone who is just starting to come out chooses to share this part of himself with you, it is a huge gift of trust. Thank him for confiding in you, and remind him that you care about him. You might also ask, “How long have you known?” or “Has it been hard for you to keep this secret?” if he seems willing to discuss the subject. Don’t press if he seems uncomfortable, and don’t ask things like, “So, have you had sex with any men?”

3. Understand not all LGBT+ people want to answer your questions. While it is admirable that you want to learn more, identifying as gay or lesbian doesn't mean that a person wants to hold straight people’s hands through the process of learning to understand LGBT+ people. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean she is responsible for being your guide to homosexuality. Some gay and lesbian people won’t mind being a resource for you, but you should not assume this to be the case. If you know a gay person and think he might be open to answering some of your questions, politely ask him. If he says no, back off respectfully.

4. Support them if they are struggling. Life can be hard for LGBT+ people, as they may face discrimination, bullying (even from loved ones such as family members), self-hatred, and confusion. If they are having a hard time, offer them compassion and acceptance. They may really need it.

5. Use appropriate language. This should hopefully be obvious, but you should never use gay or other anti-LGBT+ slurs. It is important for straight allies to the LGBT community to use respectful language when referring to gay and lesbian people. It’s true that there are a lot of different words for referring to people in the LGBT+ community. If you are unsure whether a particular word is incorrect or offensive, or aren't sure what word is appropriate, look it up.

6. Be empathetic. Empathy is the ability for feel with someone, rather than for them; it is the ability to project yourself into the experience of another person.[25] If you are not sure how to respond or treat someone in a given situation, ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in this person’s shoes?” Recognize that your heterosexuality gives you advantages in life that gay and lesbian people do not have, and that bigotry against LGBT+ people can inflict significant physiological and psychological damage. If you truly empathize with someone, you should not want to cause him this kind of pain.

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