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 Jokes of the day, Compilation

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pokchik
post Jun 29 2015, 05:49 PM

I'm getting too old for this sh*t
******
Senior Member
1,304 posts

Joined: Mar 2010


QUOTE(Aydee @ Jun 13 2015, 05:18 PM)
That Darn Cat

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.
As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away,
but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers:

"Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

*
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pokchik
post Jun 29 2015, 05:52 PM

I'm getting too old for this sh*t
******
Senior Member
1,304 posts

Joined: Mar 2010


QUOTE(Aydee @ Jun 18 2015, 08:51 AM)
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire.
He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown.
Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.
He jumped in with his equipment and shouted,
"Let's go!"
The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."
"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer.
"I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

*
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