u just falls the IDEA of her, the good part of her, pretty, adorable and sweet. Sit down and think carefully, cause no one is perfect, they must have a flaws and if u found those, she's just another girl in ur list.
I too have regret being with a girl like Miss Sudden, then I realized it's just something cannot be undone. And when I think about being with her, it's just wouldn't work for me, because we live in a different world.
Yes there are flaws in her character. She cannot take confrontation. I got to admit I got a bit impatient and pushy with her, and that pushed her too far. Also I made some blunders, which some of my friends say is forgiveable but she can't forgive. Also she has a problem with communication, she don't dare to air her disatisfaction, she just want to be nice all the time, until she can't take it anymore.
But it happened so fast, I am still in state of shock.
I guess u have good looks, many gal confessed they like u u, from i read from ur story, i can see u just met the wrong girl.
some girls will open to u and make an effort to be with u, that girl havent arrive in ur life yet.
keep ur head up, because all that experience and regret built character, u are already building one. Soon u will realized which girls are serious with u and which girls are just there.
Lucky u, u havent end up with a girl, suddenly found out she cheated on u for years, then all that time u spent with her wasted, rather be someone who truly accept who u r than after ur money or superficial reason.
plus, u havent got into real relationship yet, many thing u cannot do, then u will miss being single.
No lah, I don't have good looks, I am just an average wage earner. As you can see my other experiences, also ended up in big failures. My relationships don't last longer than 2 years.
I been single for far too long. I just want to share my life with someone. I hope I learn something from this. I kept on repeating the same mistakes.
I am not good at handling break ups, I get expose to anxiety and nervous breakdown. Even at work, my job performance has fallen. I can't sleep well, can't eat well.
Also should I delete Miss Sudden's contact?...each time i browse the watsapp, i see her beautiful face, then i feel sad to think if she's with some other lucky dude. I feel jealous.
What's wrong being single? I don't think my there is anything wrong with not being in a relationship. Especially if u went through so many bad ones, why not use this single period to reflect on all the bad relationship ship and embrace being single for once?
After my first break up, I decided to become single, because my first ex, told me to find another girl that will treat me better. That caused me to be miserable and bitter, and stopped looking. Over the course, i did many things by myself, took up lessons, but never really improving on those stuff I planned to do...but now I felt i been single for far too long.
I am embracing singularity while at same time praying to God and hoping to meet up with girls, and get to know them better.
Yes there are flaws in her character. She cannot take confrontation. I got to admit I got a bit impatient and pushy with her, and that pushed her too far. Also I made some blunders, which some of my friends say is forgiveable but she can't forgive. Also she has a problem with communication, she don't dare to air her disatisfaction, she just want to be nice all the time, until she can't take it anymore.
But it happened so fast, I am still in state of shock.
then u need to learned patient and not being pushy, sometime.. love developed over time, maybe in a year or five later later or maybe never.
You need to watch these nice movies, it may related to u.
When harry met sally
500 days of summer
Annie hall
QUOTE(fugazzi90 @ Feb 16 2015, 07:28 PM)
No lah, I don't have good looks, I am just an average wage earner. As you can see my other experiences, also ended up in big failures. My relationships don't last longer than 2 years.
I been single for far too long. I just want to share my life with someone. I hope I learn something from this. I kept on repeating the same mistakes.
I am not good at handling break ups, I get expose to anxiety and nervous breakdown. Even at work, my job performance has fallen. I can't sleep well, can't eat well.
Also should I delete Miss Sudden's contact?...each time i browse the watsapp, i see her beautiful face, then i feel sad to think if she's with some other lucky dude. I feel jealous.
so humble ar..
sounds to me u r being too hard for urself, u do know.. having a girlfriend isn't the best thing in the world, there are other stuff to enjoy, like meeting new people, traveling, finding a hobbies, joining a club and much much more.
I think ur just having a the mind set of having a girlfriend, the idea of perfection of her, and when thing sound too good to be true, u sabotage the relationship without knowing it.
First thing you need to do is LOVE urself first, it means when a girl reject you, u think she's not worth it and it's her lost for rejecting u. That is the mind set u need to look after, once u achieve that, the hit from a girl rejecting u will impact you far less. Of course there are time you can just let urself being misery for a small period of time, then after that, u need to get up and move on cause there are few million of girls waiting to meet u.
Do what u have to do, there is no right or wrong, delete her on watsapp is fine, but if u have her facebook, just put her on not to show on ur news feed, that way she never know u delete her as friend, don't burn bridges so soon, just put her in the back burner, I am pretty sure u will get over her and when she contact you, u probably talk to her like a regular friend. Never, ever shows u r bitter to her, if u shows it, ur just proving to her that u don't have balls and can't handle it. Take the rejection like man, lift up ur head high and says okay, "it's fine, let's be friend then", even if u don't mean it. Just do it. She thought you will take it poorly, then she realized she make a mistake. MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY. You can be bitter when u r at home or rant to ur close friend, just dont do it in front of her.
if u r thinking about her feeling may hurt her, who care what she thinks, if she reject you, you of course think urself first before her. What's she bringing in the table? Nothing.
ask urself a question everyday u wake up, do you want to feel misery by thinking u want a gf? or u wake up, thinking how to better urself. Life is short, better spend those time positively, rather than looking something that probably happen spontaneously.
After all that rejection, up ur dating game, cause repeating the same mistake over and over again it's like you never admit ur imperfectness, accept the fact u make mistake and make sure u dont do it ever again.
There's saying "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"
Let me tell you a story, I know a guy friend who chase a girl for over 7 years but the first year she already told him she's isn't interested in him, but due to his ego, he cannot accept it and continue to chase her, hoping he can change her mind, but after 7 years, she dated many men and been using him to buy her stuff, fetch her around like a good dog.
Do you want to be that person? Don't know about u, but i sometime see girls take advantage of weak men, desperate to get a gf. You know what really pissed me off, they know she's taking advantage of him and she is LOVING every second of it.
Girl are attention seeker creature, always want someone to give her attention so she can boost her self-esteem up.
This post has been edited by Plant: Feb 16 2015, 08:52 PM
then u need to learned patient and not being pushy, sometime.. love developed over time, maybe in a year or five later later or maybe never.
You need to watch these nice movies, it may related to u.
When harry met sally
500 days of summer
Annie hall
so humble ar..
sounds to me u r being too hard for urself, u do know.. having a girlfriend isn't the best thing in the world, there are other stuff to enjoy, like meeting new people, traveling, finding a hobbies, joining a club and much much more.
I think ur just having a the mind set of having a girlfriend, the idea of perfection of her, and when thing sound too good to be true, u sabotage the relationship without knowing it.
First thing you need to do is LOVE urself first, it means when a girl reject you, u think she's not worth it and it's her lost for rejecting u. That is the mind set u need to look after, once u achieve that, the hit from a girl rejecting u will impact you far less. Of course there are time you can just let urself being misery for a small period of time, then after that, u need to get up and move on cause there are few million of girls waiting to meet u.
Do what u have to do, there is no right or wrong, delete her on watsapp is fine, but if u have her facebook, just put her on not to show on ur news feed, that way she never know u delete her as friend, don't burn bridges so soon, just put her in the back burner, I am pretty sure u will get over her and when she contact you, u probably talk to her like a regular friend. Never, ever shows u r bitter to her, if u shows it, ur just proving to her that u don't have balls and can't handle it. Take the rejection like man, lift up ur head high and says okay, "it's fine, let's be friend then", even if u don't mean it. Just do it. She thought you will take it poorly, then she realized she make a mistake. MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY. You can be bitter when u r at home or rant to ur close friend, just dont do it in front of her.
if u r thinking about her feeling may hurt her, who care what she thinks, if she reject you, you of course think urself first before her. What's she bringing in the table? Nothing.
ask urself a question everyday u wake up, do you want to feel misery by thinking u want a gf? or u wake up, thinking how to better urself. Life is short, better spend those time positively, rather than looking something that probably happen spontaneously.
After all that rejection, up ur dating game, cause repeating the same mistake over and over again it's like you never admit ur imperfectness, accept the fact u make mistake and make sure u dont do it ever again.
There's saying "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" Let me tell you a story, I know a guy friend who chase a girl for over 7 years but the first year she already told him she's isn't interested in him, but due to his ego, he cannot accept it and continue to chase her, hoping he can change her mind, but after 7 years, she dated many men and been using him to buy her stuff, fetch her around like a good dog.
Do you want to be that person? Don't know about u, but i sometime see girls take advantage of weak men, desperate to get a gf.
Thanks great advice. Well, she already tell me to not to look at the past, she say she liked me but not enough to develop into love. She even tell me to find a better girl who treat me better. She say she will not answer my text, cause she don't want to give me false hope. She say it is very stress to be in relationship with me.
Maybe its not hard to find a gf, the question is, finding the one gf, I like, that is the hard part, to make her like me.
Isn't this like self programming myself? I dunno. I recall there was once a girl who like me, so i asked her out. I dated with her for a year but I could not make myself like her. I never committed to a relationship with her, just went out makan. After some time, I just didnt ask her out. She occassionally asked me how am I and asked me if we could go out, but i made excuses that i was busy and things like that. Even up to now, I didn't consider even asking her out, after my break up. So could the tables turn? Could Miss Sudden be in the shoes of where I am now?
Thanks great advice. Well, she already tell me to not to look at the past, she say she liked me but not enough to develop into love. She even tell me to find a better girl who treat me better. She say she will not answer my text, cause she don't want to give me false hope. She say it is very stress to be in relationship with me.
Maybe its not hard to find a gf, the question is, finding the one gf, I like, that is the hard part, to make her like me.
Isn't this like self programming myself? I dunno. I recall there was once a girl who like me, so i asked her out. I dated with her for a year but I could not make myself like her. I never committed to a relationship with her, just went out makan. After some time, I just didnt ask her out. She occassionally asked me how am I and asked me if we could go out, but i made excuses that i was busy and things like that. Even up to now, I didn't consider even asking her out, after my break up. So could the tables turn? Could Miss Sudden be in the shoes of where I am now?
the highlight bold part.. err.. i know what exactly she's telling u but i really dont want to tell u la, u sound like a nice guy. Nope, i aint telling u
apart from that, yea u have to program urself, it's part of growing up,yea? Just treat her normally, if u have no feeling for her, then dont force it, since she's initiate conversation with u, means she like u as a friend. Dunno much, just do what feels right for u, but never go into the relationship for the sake of it. You are asking for drama.
the highlight bold part.. err.. i know what exactly she's telling u but i really dont want to tell u la, u sound like a nice guy. Nope, i aint telling u
apart from that, yea u have to program urself, it's part of growing up,yea? Just treat her normally, if u have no feeling for her, then dont force it, since she's initiate conversation with u, means she like u as a friend. Dunno much, just do what feels right for u, but never go into the relationship for the sake of it. You are asking for drama.
THe bold part was told by my ex during break up. It sounds like its sealed, its over. I was caught offguard by her statements. She never showed to have any problem with me until the last moment.
We were in a relationship. Don't think there's any chance of recovering it.
After my first break up, I decided to become single, because my first ex, told me to find another girl that will treat me better. That caused me to be miserable and bitter, and stopped looking. Over the course, i did many things by myself, took up lessons, but never really improving on those stuff I planned to do...but now I felt i been single for far too long.
I am embracing singularity while at same time praying to God and hoping to meet up with girls, and get to know them better.
Sometimes maybe getting to know girls better is not really a good thing. Anyways I sympathize your situation and really do hope something good in life comes your way soon. And please don't go 14th floor anytime ya.
I can't get over Miss Sudden. For me she is the one. I know a poster here name Placenta, his dream girl left him but now he found somebody and got married. He still thinks of her though, because in his mind she is the one.
Me too, Miss Sudden was pretty, adorable, sweet and accepting. I wonder how am I going to get over her. Would I find someone better than her?
Since u summoned me.
If u like her just go for it. I noticed its not hard to go after a girl, just be confident and girls are attracted to that. If she even like u a little bit then sure kautim.
If u like her just go for it. I noticed its not hard to go after a girl, just be confident and girls are attracted to that. If she even like u a little bit then sure kautim.
Really ah?
I got rejected so many times, I dunno why maybe i am too impatient.
I got rejected so many times, I dunno why maybe i am too impatient.
Maybe the rejection scarred you... so you more apprehensive gua?
Just go la.... what is there to lose? Whenever u see an interesting girl... dont need to ask if you approach.... its a no brainer.. u have NOTHING to lose.... she reject.. ok lor.. doesnt cost u anything... she accept u have everything to gain
Improve yourself to be a better man. You have so many breakups that by now you should be able to learn from all of them. If you want to find the one, write down what you are looking for. Put some specific criteria so that you know which girl will suit your lifestyle and taste. Dont settle for less. Put it in another way, dont blame yourself for all the breakups. It involves both parties so the girls are at fault as well.
Be confident and dont be desperate. Hopefully you get to know many girl friends so that you can pick which one is right for you.
Maybe the rejection scarred you... so you more apprehensive gua?
Just go la.... what is there to lose? Whenever u see an interesting girl... dont need to ask if you approach.... its a no brainer.. u have NOTHING to lose.... she reject.. ok lor.. doesnt cost u anything... she accept u have everything to gain
Can't just go after any girl. I don't fool around at office, I know i have good relations at the office, so I don't want any trouble.
I can tell you lah, at anywhere you go, if you do see an interesting girl, its high risk to go after her....cause you jeopardize your friendship with others.
I know of one colleague who tried to go after this girl...but ended up she complaining about him, made him the most hated guy at the office.
Its all in the timing. When you have the opportunity to be one to one with her. This kind of timing is real hard. And I don't mean with your co worker. I don't mess around with them.
Maybe the rejection scarred you... so you more apprehensive gua?
Just go la.... what is there to lose? Whenever u see an interesting girl... dont need to ask if you approach.... its a no brainer.. u have NOTHING to lose.... she reject.. ok lor.. doesnt cost u anything... she accept u have everything to gain
Can't just go after any girl. I don't fool around at office, I know i have good relations at the office, so I don't want any trouble.
I can tell you lah, at anywhere you go, if you do see an interesting girl, its high risk to go after her....cause you jeopardize your friendship with others.
I know of one colleague who tried to go after this girl...but ended up she complaining about him, made him the most hated guy at the office.
Its all in the timing. When you have the opportunity to be one to one with her. This kind of timing is real hard. And I don't mean with your co worker. I don't mess around with them.
Feb 16 2015, 07:24 PM
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