Why am I so unlucky in love?

1) Miss Uni
Let me start, when I was in uni, i liked this girl. At first i struggled in exam, she saw that i was struggling, then she kick my leg during exam time and then she expose her paper to allow me to copy her results. One day I was sick, she boil porridge for me. Then there was one time when we in a group, I made fun of her with another guy, she suddenly say she don't like the guy, she like me. So from that day, I went after her. I told my friends that I like her, they told her that, and somehow that made her afraid of me. After that she started avoiding me. Everytime she saw me she pretended to like wanna vomit. I feel sad. Years later she met her dream guy and got married. I attended her wedding. Today she has two kids. Once in a while when we got class reunion gatherings, we still meet up with bigger group of friends. I dun have much feeling for her, just friends. But occassionally it felt odd, seeing her around.

2) Miss Opportunity
I joined this association when i was in my early 20s. We were one helluva gang of friends. We always met at a friend's house, after meeting we went mamak. It was then there is this girl hailing from Johor...who needed a lift to take her there. I happen to be her driver. I drove her for 2 blady years to the meetings. Never once I made any approach to her. She is just so down to earth and sweet girl. But she is really blur, very funny girl, one time when I waited outside her house...she came out and got into the wrong white car...hahahaha. Her sense of direction really bad. We talked a lot while I gave her lift to the meetings. It was then she left to singapore to work. Till today I really regretted as to why I never chase after her. Those days I was too scared to commit into a relationship, yeah I was very immature back then. May not have worked out.

3) Miss Naughty
Then working time, I did some work with this girl younger than me. One day we went to taman negara with her and some friends. At night, we shared stories at our bunk beds...then suddenly she say she like me. After that I went after her, asked her out, then she say she not sure. Then turn out got this guy always sit next to her, I wonder why. Everytime I tried to approach her at office, he and his group of friends tried to stop me. And I always see her follow him back after office, make my heart so pain. Then finally I confessed I like her...it was then she revealed she already got boyfriend, and its that guy. I was so shocked. Many years later, I heard they broke up...but not sure what happened to them. But I have no qualms or regret, I am glad I didn't hook up with Miss Naughty, i was young and foolish back then...so stupid to fall for such a girl who likes to go bar and drinking.

4) Miss Migrate
Many years later I was shopping at a super market, then I ran into my uni mate. She saw me and asked me if I was seeing anyone, I said no, then I asked her back, she also said no. We exchanged numbers. Then I started to ask her out, she complied. Then after dating so long, while walking, we were both swinging hands, then she suddenly held my hand, I was so elated. But not long after, a lot of differences surfaced. She realised I was so different from her. We broke up many times..I was so heartbroken. Until the final one, I could not take it anymore, and decided not to chase her back. By the time, it was too late, she went to work to another country. I begged her but she say it is too late and she tried very hard to try to bring us together but we're both too different. Years later she facebook me to tell me that she's married and have kids.

5) Miss Aloof
Zoom many years later, I changed job..then got opportunity to go overseas with a new team of girls. THis one in particular, she declared herself as single. At the foreign country, we wanted to go sightseeing, so she asked me to take her out one on one. I was elated. We went to many famous sites, attended shows, visited museums and shopped till we drop. Then came back to Malaysia, I asked out..but she declined. I accidentaly confess to one of the colleagues that I like her. Then it was all gloom at the office. Pressure started to pile up on work, I struggled. I asked her for help because her previous job, she did this kind of work before...but she decline to help me. I was so disappointed and realised she wasn't waifu material. The job got so bad, that i was forced to resign. Then she realised that i resigned and said that she missed me. She even took me out for dinner to spend me for farewell, one to one. By then I almost given up on her. Then she said she will help on something, which she did. I was stupid to think i got a chance, knowing Miss Aloof's personality, she is not helpful and only thinks about herself. I recalled even at the airport, when I ate with her one to one...my mouth was dirty all over, she had tissue she never gave me. Then months later she ask me out for lunch, I obliged, we talk and talk. Another round of months later, she ask me again for lunch...but by then i was fed up...because of her uncaring ways.

6) Miss Sudden

I was so disappointed almost gave up, until a friend recommended Miss Sudden. Miss Sudden is quite attractive, sweet and very fair skin girl. Our age difference was big. Initially she was submissive. I was so happy. Then while dating her, all of sudden, she ask me to hold her hand. I was so excited and I knew this is the girl of my dreams. I was in cloud nine. It was then I got busy with work, and she too got busy with work. Then our love suddenly became strained because i paid less attention to her and made some big blunders in the relationship. It didn't help that she was very mum about her reservations about me, she didn't seek clarity...so many misunderstandings. Many months later, she called off the relationship, say that both of us are unsuitable. I was really heartbroken. Still am now. Meeting miss Sudden made me forgot about my previous failures. But now everything is shattered.

7) Conclusion

Will I ever find the ONE? Sigh...life is frustrating. I been searching, searching and searching. I keep on getting rejected. there was one time, I felt that I would never marry. I am getting old. what girl would want me? I am not rich and just a wage earner.

At times feel like 14th floor...but I told myself, hah got another 40 more years to live, halfway, line...we will die someday. At least I can live with dignity...and die with dignity, at end of my life when I face God and say I finish the finishing line and I did not give up.

So many rejections, make me feel like Mr rejected. Sometime i sit at home try to improve myself, but feel demoralised. At times try to work, then flashbacks of my failures come back and imagine all my exes with other guys living happily ever after starting a family.

Why is relationship so hard? Why am I so anaethema to relationships? Girls hate me?

I can't get over Miss Sudden. For me she is the one. I know a poster here name Placenta, his dream girl left him but now he found somebody and got married. He still thinks of her though, because in his mind she is the one.

Me too, Miss Sudden was pretty, adorable, sweet and accepting. I wonder how am I going to get over her. Would I find someone better than her?

Difficult to let go. I can imagine my ex is with another guy now. Boo hoo hoo

Opportunities very far and few.

My current ex left me because she thinks I treat her as investment.

For me, i not sure if i am picky, beauty is the sight of the beholder. The girl is pretty to me but may not be pretty to others.

For me I don't easily fall for a person...its got to be the timing, the reason why i fall for her. So its very rare. I have fallen for wrong persons before and woke up from my mistakes. But my recent ex, I made big blunders n i myself am faulted.

Yeah the break up was fresh. I have dated many girls, she is truly the one level that I broke the glass ceiling. I never thought a girl like her would agree to go out with me.

It will be a tall order to match her looks. Yes I know we should not judge a girl on her looks. Character is important too. Call me dumb, but for me, I need physical chemistry. What I see as pretty, may not be pretty in the eyes of someone else. But I did show the pic of her to some of my friends and they say she is pretty.

Outwardly she is pretty and sweet girl. But she's been holding out her disatisfaction for so long...until she could not take it over my mistakes, and burst out for break up.

Now I gotta see that long open road of loneliness and searching.

I not sure if I can find that THE ONE...I been dating over 30 girls, some rejected me, some like the list above. Sigh...I am feeling pretty anxious, insecure and impatient.

Yes there are flaws in her character. She cannot take confrontation. I got to admit I got a bit impatient and pushy with her, and that pushed her too far. Also I made some blunders, which some of my friends say is forgiveable but she can't forgive. Also she has a problem with communication, she don't dare to air her disatisfaction, she just want to be nice all the time, until she can't take it anymore.

But it happened so fast, I am still in state of shock.

No lah, I don't have good looks, I am just an average wage earner. As you can see my other experiences, also ended up in big failures. My relationships don't last longer than 2 years.

I been single for far too long. I just want to share my life with someone. I hope I learn something from this. I kept on repeating the same mistakes.

I am not good at handling break ups, I get expose to anxiety and nervous breakdown. Even at work, my job performance has fallen. I can't sleep well, can't eat well.

Also should I delete Miss Sudden's contact?...each time i browse the watsapp, i see her beautiful face, then i feel sad to think if she's with some other lucky dude. I feel jealous.

After my first break up, I decided to become single, because my first ex, told me to find another girl that will treat me better. That caused me to be miserable and bitter, and stopped looking. Over the course, i did many things by myself, took up lessons, but never really improving on those stuff I planned to do...but now I felt i been single for far too long.

I am embracing singularity while at same time praying to God and hoping to meet up with girls, and get to know them better.

Thanks great advice. Well, she already tell me to not to look at the past, she say she liked me but not enough to develop into love. She even tell me to find a better girl who treat me better. She say she will not answer my text, cause she don't want to give me false hope. She say it is very stress to be in relationship with me.

Maybe its not hard to find a gf, the question is, finding the one gf, I like, that is the hard part, to make her like me.

Isn't this like self programming myself? I dunno. I recall there was once a girl who like me, so i asked her out. I dated with her for a year but I could not make myself like her. I never committed to a relationship with her, just went out makan. After some time, I just didnt ask her out. She occassionally asked me how am I and asked me if we could go out, but i made excuses that i was busy and things like that. Even up to now, I didn't consider even asking her out, after my break up. So could the tables turn? Could Miss Sudden be in the shoes of where I am now?

THe bold part was told by my ex during break up. It sounds like its sealed, its over. I was caught offguard by her statements. She never showed to have any problem with me until the last moment.

We were in a relationship. Don't think there's any chance of recovering it.

]I am not 25. I will PM you.

Really ah?

I got rejected so many times, I dunno why maybe i am too impatient.

Can't just go after any girl. I don't fool around at office, I know i have good relations at the office, so I don't want any trouble.

I can tell you lah, at anywhere you go, if you do see an interesting girl, its high risk to go after her....cause you jeopardize your friendship with others.

I know of one colleague who tried to go after this girl...but ended up she complaining about him, made him the most hated guy at the office.

Its all in the timing. When you have the opportunity to be one to one with her. This kind of timing is real hard. And I don't mean with your co worker. I don't mess around with them.

Can't just go after any girl. I don't fool around at office, I know i have good relations at the office, so I don't want any trouble.

I can tell you lah, at anywhere you go, if you do see an interesting girl, its high risk to go after her....cause you jeopardize your friendship with others.

I know of one colleague who tried to go after this girl...but ended up she complaining about him, made him the most hated guy at the office.

Its all in the timing. When you have the opportunity to be one to one with her. This kind of timing is real hard. And I don't mean with your co worker. I don't mess around with them.

I only been thru 2 rships, the rest i wrote, were just courting that didn't work out. My rships don't last longer than 2 yrs. Well, to blame or not, I am the one who lost, because the girl ain't wanna fight for the rship, just wanted out.

Its hard for me to put on a criteria. Like my 1st ex..was talkative, adventurous, smart and inspiring. While my 2nd ex was quiet, helpful, accepting, sweet, adorable and innocent girl. If I do put a criteria then I will miss out on potential girls who can change my life.

Don't settle for less? Meaning? But now I am not getting any younger. So the kind of girls that wanna go out with me becomes limited choice.

Thanks for your encouragement.

I may sound desperate but I not the kind that would easily fall for a girl. I have talk a lot with girls but I am not the kind of person who goes around chasing girls.

I am actually late 30s so girls in early 30s somewhat may see me of a liability. My first rship was when I was 29, and my ex was 28.

Even girls early 30s, you think they would accept late 30s guys like me, can they accept 5 to 6 years gap?

I am 9 years older than my second ex gf.

Maybe I am immature.

Ok noted.

Maybe lor.

Haiz...now the damage has been done. Opportunities like this don't always come. I screwed up. I be a better person.

Yeah attitude is the key.