QUOTE(waters @ Mar 28 2014, 02:15 PM)
Hi all,
Thank you for the replies. Appreciate every single one.
After a few months of thinking, preparing...I think my wife and I are finally ready. We are most likely going to go with Alpha Fertility Centre at Kota Damansara. We felt extremely comfortable with Dr. Leong and we feel that this is the right choice for us. If all goes well, our appointment to start would be mid-April.
Nonetheless, all options mentioned here are excellent choices and I feel anyone TTC should explore all avenues given.
This is going to be our first IVF, I'm 36 and my wife is 31. The doctors were very confident with our chances as the problem is with me
, not my wife. She checked out A-OK. However, we are more tapered with our expectations and keeping in mind this is going to cost a fair bit of money, approx 18-22k, I'm cautiously hopeful.
I'll probably be PM'ing some of you over the next few weeks before we start, if we have any questions, if you don't mind.
Some general questions, (Sorry if it sounds too direct, just that I need some info)
1. How old was your better half when doing your first IVF?
2. How much did it cost you?
3. How did you manage the emotional roller-coaster during the month?
4. Did you inform your immediate families of your decision? How were their responses? - I've spoken to some of my family members earlier on, they were unable to accept the fact that we couldn't conceive naturally, their answers were "Just take a holiday", "Need to reduce your stress", "It only takes one", "don't worry, it'll happen". But now they seem to be coming along very slowly. Took awhile and a lot of heated conversations, though.
5. (Sorry if this question is painful) -> If you were not successful on your first try, did the doctor try to explain why?
Thanks again and good luck to all of you on your journey!!!
1. First IVF, I was 35 and she was 34. Just a FYI, the reason why we went for IVF was because wife had both her fallopian tubes blocked, hence no other method besides IVF to get pregnant. But as noted earlier, we have gone through 2 failed rounds, hence we are thinking there are more than meets the eye (literally).
2. Round 1 : Sunfert around 30k-ish, including freezing of remaining embryo and a day-care surgery to remove some polyps.
Round 2 : KL Fertility and Xi TCM Fertility Center (they work together, one Western medicine and one Chinese medicine), 25k-ish and adding up, excluding upcoming FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) to transfer the remaining frozen embryo at a later date.
Total to date (more to come) : 55k with some spare change to pump petrol and parking, so be prepared...
3. So far my wife has been good throughout the IVF process. Not all women gets hot flashes. She did shed a tear though, when the pregnancy test results came about... so be strong, and encourage her. Speak to those who have gone through the experience, that would help a lot sometimes...
4. No. A few reason to keep it a secret :
4.1 They do not understand the process and what is going on, and will probably insult you for going through that process ("Why do u spend do much on it? Just go for a break la! Don't work so hard." or "SEE! Told you to marry the other women")
4.2 Without realizing themselves, they are actually a burden and a source of stress to your wife during the process. You and your wife needs a quiet time to go through this peacefully, not yapping or nitpicking aunts and mothers... Imagine if the IVF process fails, you'd need to answer to them too, in which the answer probably be "I don't know".
4.3 Further repercussion later on when the baby is born. I know coz I have cousins conceived via IVF, and they nicknamed her the "million-dollar baby". That is something that your kid had to go through unfortunately if they were to know.
5. Don't expect any answers from them. With 2 failed rounds, both doctors are unable to fully diagnose why it has failed (refer to 4.2 as well), although KL Fertility was better managing our expectations by helping us analyze where they think has gone wrong (and next steps to overcome them). There are still powers-to-be which controls human's destiny, and it does not come from the doctor's room or the operating table.
Good luck in your journey.. and all the best to both of you