I have known many girls who were still quite attractive when they were in their 30s. Just like TS case, they were having a relatively good career, etc but somehow were not successful in the relationship department.

Many of them were also choosy,

John is a smoker – CANNOT
Paul has a beard – CANNOT
Eric still Lives with Parents – CANNOT
Raymond earns less than me – CANNOT (this is the 2 nd most popular reason)
David is younger than me – CANNOT (the most popular reason)

Today, all these girlls that I knew are all in their 40s and sad to say, past the shelf life already. As they are already past 40, it is unlikely than an eligible bachelor in their 30s would be interested in them and hence, their choices are Uncle in the late 40s and beyond which means either Divorced or got some problem that these guys were single for so many years. Even then, these Uncle can get Vietnamese wife in the 20s and 30s, why settle for an Aunty in her 40s.

So, for TS, I would say that since you are also not young, don’t waste time and confront (not confess) this woman again and tell her your intentions. Your intentions are no explore the potential of a romantic relationship with her but the two of you should get to know each other better. You have no intentions to ‘just be friends with the opposite sex’ and if that is something that she cannot accept, then she should let you know so that neither of you will be wasting your time.

Good luck though, I believe that you think you found your potential soul mate but she may think that its just friends only.

Maybe I missed this so let me comment on some of her reasons:

“Our Values are different”

If this are her exact words, it does mean a lot when a woman says these words. It means that she has accessed you (in a very quick and perhaps biased manner) and has concluded that the 2 of you have different goals and objectives in life.

Some examples are

- She wants kids and the you don’t
- She believes in taking care of Parents and you don’t
- She believes in financial planning and you are care free
- She believes is doing charity work, helping the less fortunate you don’t. I suspect that this is one of the reasons cos u mention that she likes to help the less fortunate.

So, I have to ask you to think long and hard, what are the values that you hold dear compared to hers and whether you think, if the 2 of you got together, would you be able to compromise on those values. Who would give and who would take.

“She older than me”

As mentioned, this is a favourite excuse but its out of fear really, as women age faster than Man. She’s afraid that after she looks older and you still look hot, you will start looking at other women. She may also think that you’re not serious and just flirting with her and will move on.

This reason could also be linked to 3 to 6 which is that she was hurt in the past and does not believe in love anymore.

The only way to counter this is to stick around long enough for her to realise that you are indeed serious about her and that you are different. The only questions is whether she is indeed worth all your trouble. After all, there are still a lot of fish out there.

She teasing you

This is the part that I don’t get, why is she teasing you and mimicking your behaviour. It does not take a genius to realise that most people don’t like it. But did you tell her, to her face that such actions are:

- Insulting to you
- Will damage whatever friendship is left between the 2-of you

As you can see, I deliberately did not want to use ‘hurt your feelings’ cos I think that you should avoid revealing your feelings anymore to someone who would deliberately hurt you.

What’s your Next Plan

I think that you should meet more people, join more activities. You seem like a Nice Guy, too nice that some people may even think that you’re a door mat. Join more social activities.

If you can afford, go for activities like Speed Dating, Lunch Actually, broaden your horizon and you may meet another nice girl.

Then you can tell this Girl about all these activities. Gauge her reaction. And then you decide who you want, this girl or the new girl that you just met.

the only teasing to enjoy is the sexual kind in nature