Of the two types of rape – random and date rape, almost all girls who are raped are raped by someone they know and often by someone they are either dating or have been dating.

It would be wonderful if there was a simple answer to this, but there isn’t. A lot
of rape is a crime of opportunity. We will deal with that first.

Rape that happens in a dark alley outside a bar by a stranger can be prevented
fairly easily. Nothing is fool proof but do be out alone, stay with friends -
preferably some guys you know so its not just girls walking. If you get a strange
feeling about a situation get away as fast as you can.

It isn’t rocket science to reduce the chance of randon rape. The problem is that
most rape isn’t randon.

Date rape, as in being raped by your boyfriend is very common and very under
reported. Its hard to tell if the guy you love will push too far and refuse to
listen when you say no. There can be some signs but often the nicest guys end up
going into your vagina even as you beg them not to.

Try communicating about sex and if you do or don’t want it. That will avoid
misunderstandings where he thinks you don’t mean no. If you think you will be ready
for sex at some point tell him. Then he knows its ok to try. And again, if you get a
bad feeling its time for a new boyfriend.

The last common type of rape is date rape by someone other then a dedicated
boyfriend. The date is this case is usually a party or rave. And the rape is often
aided by drugs. Watching your drink and being careful to not take anything you don’t
know the source of is important.

But… A guy who has decided you are his target at such a party is almost always
going to suceed. I was drugged and raped at 16 – I thought I did everything right to
avoid it but it still happened so easily. The only good news is that the drugs relax
you so the risk of physical damage is much lower. Some make it so you can’t remember
the rape which can help reduce the emotional damage as well. It is however
impossible to not be affected even if you don’t remember the rape.

Try to reduce the risk but also recognize rape is often a random thing. If you are
raped reached out and get some support. If you don’t have anyone in your life you
feel safe talking to, use the interactive help section of this site and I will be
glad to talk with you.