HI everyone, i think i will go straight into the point. I am a 22-year-old woman and recently i am attracted by a man 20 years my senior. I am not a gold-digger per se, but he does have a lucrative career. He is single by the way.
I first met him about two weeks ago and started liking him after seeing his attentiveness to his job and god damn did he look so sexy. He is not classified into the hot guy category, but i can't stop thinking about him and want to have all his babies! i am totally sold and think he looks sexy in every way!
What should i do? Is 20 years too big of a gap? Will he be attracted by me? What should i do, as a younger person, to attract a man who has seen the world?

2 year different
i see no problem here

Read carefully, it's 20 years difference.

any idea what he thinks abt u?

So you are gold digger. This means he is 44 now. What will happen when you will be 44 he will be 66, have you thought about that. To be honest I think your attracted more the prospect of having a stable life. The only reason you could give for your liking of him is his career. So yeah your a gold digger who is denying she is one.

By the way younger women are attracted to guys older then them.

Maybe that guy was Hugh Jackman.

Oh if its wolverine than its ok.

I think so ? Based on TS description. Haha !

haha, you all making fun of TS.

what if TS imaging the man suddenly lost his job? would you still be there for him?

She will be diggin again

https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/2925603

Funny. Tarp/Dupe?

Love has no boundaries and age in not a barrier. If you think you loved him and vice versa go a head don't bother what others said. Life is yours two not them. Yes 20 yrs is big gap however you can try approach him and give him signal see how's his respond. Btw 40's have very good job but still single probably ghey?

If you really like ..go for it!
Gud luck anyway...
I assume tht guy will treat you like child or little sis

go for it,age is just a number

Yeah sis, you may wanna investigate first why such an attractive guy with great career isn't married yet by 44, there is a possibility he is gay or maybe other things, just to be on the safe side. Don't just jump in right into it, you only know him for two weeks, it is too early for anything.

this is the hangat hangat tahi ayam stage..
sooner or later, communication gap will begin..
then your family will object..

if you already know what happen as per above yet insists of going all out for that... umm.. just go ahead and don't regret..

Apuh! Want to troll also use back own gender in the story lah please. Where got female tell everyone "i wanna have all his babies" as her desperation wan?

thanks some of you for your replies. Well, hates gonna hate.
I am not entirely sure if i will still like him if he loses his job, but as of right now i really enjoy the thrill of the thought of being with him. I am sick of "guys" and now i need a "man," someone like him who can give me a sense of security and who can guide me. (he is a specialist doctor and is definitely not gay)

Please stop giving unhelpful comments. I don't think i mind the gap, because with him being 42 and me being 22, he is still relatively younger than my father.
With that being said, what do you think he will think of the gap, from a man's perspective? Any male's insights will be much appreciated. Also, i will be grateful if you can give me some tips on "seducing" (duh) him.

Ts u don't need a doctor to make you feel secure and guide you. A doctor specialisted in a specific knowledge for smart ppl eventually will boring. Find someone that flexible and stop judging someone by its cover.

42 years still single?
Either he is damn rich or he is too poor then, it not fit into this 2 category then probably he is married but hiding his status.

Better becareful.

I see nothing wrong with that. It's actually normal for women to go for older guys.

thanks everyone again! it looks like a majority of you are against the idea. may i know what is that? is not not common to see a younger lady with a much older guy? any older guys care to give me some advice?
also he used to have a few relationships but none ended up in marriage. maybe he is too obsessed with his work.

This post has been edited by choclover9: Aug 17 2013, 01:10 PM

maybe he just playing around with little girls, u can go try it out on your risk

22 is woman already? i tot still a girl

The reason he is still single even tho he's doing well is either.

1, he's gay
2, he's ultra picky
3, he's a playboy.

1 and 3 he might be carry aids and STD, if 2, then a desperately girl is sure not his cup of tea.

Good luck

why is it in our society that we assume having no a significant other means that there is something wrong with the person? i am 22 and single and don't think i will ever get married until i am 40 or so. so does that mean if i am doing well but not married then there's something wrong with me?
haha, also, there is no risk, because i am the one on the sexual prowl this time around.
ok, now don't worry about me. I am instead worried about how an older man will think of being with a much younger lady.

I think the usual formula for checking these is actually his age divide by half and then plus 7

So since he is 42, then 42/2 = 21
21+7 = 28.

Usually Anything beyond that then people will start raising eyebrows

Of course don't have to take it so seriously. Perhaps go have a few casual outings with him first and see how things are like?

For the record, theres nothing wrong with being gay, ultra picky, and being a playboy.

Why do our society associate being gay, playboy and ultra picky as something wrong?

Keyword : not a gold digger, lucrative career, want have all his babies!!
Well done.. Wonder u fall in which categories...

well, let's just say i want to f*** this older man.

Dupe.. Show ur real identity..

One thing I assure you, you're 22 and still considered as fresh meat for me

If you're beautiful like celebrities confirmed he'll be attracted to you.

+10000

And he has money, can always piap with model..

i was actually writing to get support but most of you act as downers and judge me without hoping to really give me some advice. sigh, guess i will just have to make decisions myself.

This is called,"crush". You only admire him for reasons.

It is just a crush .. u admire him. You are not even sure if its love. So u have to take more time to know more about him

If u don't want to care about the age gap then don't have to but investigate more on his background .

At this age but still single. He might have some secret you don't know.

Just don't rush things.. getting into relationship is not a game or just like what kid will do like.. "eh i like this guy so i want him"
You must know more about each other 1st.

This post has been edited by Strawberry<3: Aug 17 2013, 06:48 PM

Younger women-older guy relationship is perfectly acceptable by society, provided the guy has some measure of financial success.

Love your post about "want to have all his babies"

Lots of older guys are single these days, especially Chinese. It's hard to balance a career/ambition with relationship/marriage, which is very time-consuming. So it's not fair to be overly suspicious.

Then, just go f*ck him la. Get a date with him and tell him your plan for the dinner, bar and hotel. He should get the drift. But, I don't think that's ur question. He might be financially capable but that doesn't he will spend on you. Your question is how are you gonna make him commit his wealth to make you feel secure. That's pretty much wat most women will wan but it didn't work out with other women, so, its unlikely that it will with you.

I will suggest just enjoy the sex and see how it goes.


And make the younger women guarantees her fertility?

OK if you confirmed he is 100% straight, not married, sexy, very attractive that make you want to have babies with him then start make your move don't wait else will snatch by other girl..... what is your profession anyway? What I know doctor normally (not all doctor) will find doctor as their life partner or lawyer they don't go for office job ladies anyway you can try.

I guess everyone is against your idea because we have seen it happened so often. An old, rich, successful man with playing with a young girl.

Personally I'd advise you not to do it. I lost my girlfriend when she stepped in to the working world because she was exposed to all those successful working men at her work place. What I'm saying is that she's just attracted to the success and maturity of those older men. And being old as they are, they have experience on "capturing" younger girls hearts. I'm not saying you are the same materialistic girl, but I suggest you think it through because as of now, it just seems like you are admiring him from afar and have yet to find out if you are both compatible.

To answer your questions,
Yes I feel that 20 years is a big gap. Yes I think he will be attracted to you (maybe only sexually). What you should do is think it through very carefully before doing anything, because it's very easy for a girl in her 20s to seduce a man in his 40s.

I have a friend who is with a guy about 10 years older than her. She's really happy because he can provide her with luxuries such as Prada, Hermes, Rolex good food, holidays etc. But I know those are in exchange for sex.

I'm not trying to put you down, but more often than not, we hear stories about how a young girl got used by older men. I find it rather distasteful for a young girl to be with a man from (almost) a different generation.

Well， i don't want to make any comment on the choices. Will focus on what would seduce the man.

I am just 33 years old, may not be a good reference but at least you have something to refer to.

I will keep a lady in mind if:
- she is pretty,
- she looks like my cup of tea.
- she looks sexy

She would come into my mind often, if:
- have frequent physical touch (grab my hand when laugh and etc)
- She care about me.
- I feel like i need to do something like protect her or so.
- She can guess my feeling.
- She always look at me with 'fire' in her eyes.

once you passed above few criteria, mating with him would be not that difficult.

Happy humping

Maybe he's a gynaelogist that he totally lose interest after seeing countless of.....

All men that has careers will be attentive to their job btw not only him.

Okay my advise will be think of the future prospect like 20-30 years after.

If you are willing to be some nurse for some 70 year old guy when you are 48 then okay la.....

Tapi sakit sendiri tanggung ya.
Problem is, dia ada minat sama you tak?

Love him, don't care about what other people will say about you two. If he loves you back why not, you 2 are the ones who have to create family, not other people. As for me, I never cared about what other people say, I live in my own world

thanks everyone. God bless you guys! I will see as it goes

if you want, go lah, buat apa asking people advice ?

unless you know you are doing something wrong....
in this case also.... buat apa asking people for advice again ?

best fact is u r a gold digger n u dont realise it. that is so ****** up. ur one worst case scenario edi.

Normal, it's normal. Young men just couldn't impress much. Talk and act like an idiot most of the time.

Here are my 2 cents worth from experience. In my 20s I dated a few older guys, most casually, 1 seriously. The 1 I dated seriously is 12 yrs older than I am. It is easy to get older guys attracted to a younger girl cos u r still well, a young sweet thing. But to develop a serious relationship is really hard. Firstly, the age gap will take its toll after some time. Dif interest, dif social groups, dif problems. It is hard to understand him cos his experiences r dif. He finds it hard to understand u cos in a lot of sense he views u as a kid.

Secondly, respect and power. U will realise that u will have very lil if any power in the relationship simply because he doesnt respect u as his equal. This leads to frustration cos no matter how young someone is, it doesn't mean they cant make decisions or have good opinions.

Thirdly, ego and perception. No matter what the reason u decided to date the guy, people will treat u abnormally. His female friends either treat me like a gold digger or a lil sister that they wanna protect constantly. His male friends either treat me like meat or that silly girl that doesn't realise what she is getting into. My ego couldnt take the drama.

Lastly, bcos he is older and more experienced, u always wonder if u r being played out.

For a man, I have no issues dating younger women as long as she can carry herself and be mature about it. Some men spend most of their younger years concentrating on their career so unlike everyone else here, I don't really think there's anything suspicious about the guy(then again,I don't know him at all).Like they say, life starts at 40. As I posted earlier, go for it but don't really rush and don't be so 'desperate' or at least act like you are not.

The only drawback probably is I would feel a bit insecure about being with you as there are always someone younger and better that would probably suit you out there.

Honestly I am younger than you let me share my views from your experience the age gap is not only the challenge mental age is as well.

I close to never mix with ppl same age with me. Most of my friends and business partners are 30+ age about 10+ years different from me. That gives me knowledge and experience I eventually need to learn with that I have a head start.

My life partneris 5 years+ younger than me but my partner mental age is about my age.

So just imagine the age gaps in between worlds.

For your case due to your physical and mental age too far apart you think negative.

Example : why must you focus on whether he plays you?
Your question should be how do I benefit, learn and can leverage from this relationship?.

Does he make you a better person?
Does he leverage with your advantages and disadvantages?
Does he share his experience with you?
Does he share his networks with you?
Does his plans have you in it?
Does he celebrate his success with you?

You understand now why mental age is important? What you focus expands.

Let explain to you your so called power and respect
Its not they dont respect you they tell you so they want you to be a better person due to your mental age is younger than your age. I do that to my life partner as well I will advice and explain.

Because we care so we teach and share but for people that are childish or young they take it as annoying and nagging. Those ppl after I try 10 times I will avoid because life is about growing and expanding. The world change regardless what you do technology advances everyday but why some human prefer stay the way they are or go backward in certain things.

Ts if you think you like him go for it but be prepared the challenges you will need to confront.

This post has been edited by aspire2oo6: Aug 19 2013, 09:35 AM

What sort of relationship are you looking for:

a) Short term - just a fling

b) Mid Term - until u find someone younger who is just as rich

c) Long Term - for Life, etc

If its (a) or (b), go for it. He's rich, you're young.

But assuming its ©, do u want to be tied down so young. How many men have u dated? Do u want kids, when? What about hin, does he want kids.

Btw, I think there is a good chance that your man may be GAY. So, do try to find out before jumping in.


Specific tips on how to seduce him / make him take notice.

1) Wear a revealing low cut blouse with a half-cup bra and pretend to drop something, pen, etc and bend down to pick it up.
2) Wear short skirt with G-String and same thing, drop something and bend down to pick it up.

After that, give him a cheeky smile and wink.

Btw, do u know how Monica Lewenski got Bill's attention. She was on the upper floor, wearing a mid-lenght skirt with no panties and Bill was at the lower floor and she called Mr President and when Bill looked up, it was the scene from Basic Instint. True Story

If he does not give you any specific look / stare, or contact u for drinks, that means, he's GAY.

This post has been edited by cfa28: Aug 19 2013, 12:22 PM

man im approaching 30, and i find that it is hard to click with girls your age. i find them too young, and we have different interests. girls your age love to go travel/club etc etc. my age we wanna save up for investments or family etc etc. different motivations.

you are actually very funny.

Your expectation is to get people to support you? come on, now is you or forumer want to get into relationship? if you have firmed up your mind to start with that guy, just go on and do not has to create a thread just to "gain unnecessary support"

When people give you -ve advice, you feel sigh and claim people not helping? Or you are just picker who only want to listen to positive response?

Be more realistic gal.

If you like him, then just hit on him. Why so many questions?

It is nice that u r positive but honestly not everyone starts relationships with such good intentions. Sometimes it is good to be suspicious of other people's intentions. And sometimes it is essential to plan for the worst. how many older guy/ younger girl relationships stem from sincere feelings?

The lesson i learned from that relationship is never doubt my instincts .

Thats my point never ever judge instincts especially having such negative perspective.

Its a skill you need to master its call fish for information/personality check.


Notice your character negative + negative = ?

Not everyone starts relationship with such bad intentions.

Lately i do trust my instinct then i decided to go against my instinct guess what it really worked. I didnt expect it to work out.

So key is knowledge what you focus expands if you focus on failing the probability is lots higher

To TS, I would like to be the perennial optimist and wish you all the best in your pursuit but the odds are stacked against you. My two cents would be for you to go out with someone your age and forget this older man if you are looking for a long-term relationship. Otherwise, for a fling, hey, you go girl!

If a player was so easy to read they wouldnt be players

of course its easy because you focus it to be hard so you are an expert in making it hard. Get it? I repeat what you focus expands? Notice at the moment you are an expert in being negative because you choose to master it. So just imagine whoever you mentor will be as good as you in being negative. Whoever mix with me will be positive because i focus on how to master that subject..

Have u heard of a saying? Who knows a thief better than a thief himself. So how to learn? Learn it from a player talk and be friend with a player.

Hope that clarify your confusion.

Nope, sorry. I have to disagree with u. If players were so easy to read, they wouldnt b players. Pls dont categorise players to be pretty boys or those with a lil bit of cash in his pocket that he uses to charm a girl. Those are amateurs. Even thieves have dif grades. U would never see a real player coming, he doesnt have to b good looking nor does he have to spend one cent on a girl.

This is nothing to do with being positive or negative. It is about being realistic about human beings. Not all older guys r players, not all pretty girls r gold diggers, but it wouldnt hurt to be cautious. Best case, it works and u run off into the sunset on his white horse. Worst case, u learn a lesson and move on stronger than b4. What's so bad about that?

I am not a negative person, if i was i would have given up on love at bf number one itself. But i am not an optimist either. I have a very strict list of criterias on what i expect from a guy. While money and good looks r not on that list, i assure u the list is harsh nevertheless. And let's get real, even when a guy fits every criteria i have, there is no guarantee he will b like that the rest of his life. People change. Enjoy the good times, but dont lose sight that it could get bad. That way u always have a worst case senario contengency plan.

Maybe u r lucky that the guys u know r sincere and all that. But not everyone is like that. Ts needs to b careful cos she is dealing with someone much more experienced than her.

Seems like you got yourself confuse what a player is so the question is even you do not know what is a player how to do you identify one?

Thats the benefit of being stubborn they never learn so they keep getting cheated and trapped. For an amateur like yourself let me give you a lesson in life if everyone is so perfect you wont need to have teacher in school then lecturer in colleges and university. So when talking about players you are the teacher of yourself? HAHAHAHA

Its up to you to believe or not. I have said what i got to say. Remember your actions reveals your character and not what you believe you are. Seems like many guys got you for you to think like that. I wont explain to you how to identify its for you to find out. Its never about looks or spending its one essential tools that always reveal the answer.

You want the honest opinion from me you are very negative and i usually avoid ppl like that.

This post has been edited by aspire2oo6: Aug 20 2013, 02:43 AM

Dif people r dif. Best to respect the differences instead of getting personal when others share dif ideologies. The ability to agree to disagree makes for interesting conversations instead of being derogatory or insulting towards some random person on the internet.

Hmm must be sad in his shoe 42 years old still single. Cant imagine how he live his life. Try hang out as a friend lo see what is his reaction if overly romantic you better beware. If lack of confident just ditch him lol.

I'm 27 this year and had a few girls below the age of 21 (but still legal lah) expressed their interest in me. But the thought of being with someone more than 5 years younger than me makes me feel pedo-ish.

So yeah, you might wants him but he might be more comfortable with someone around his age.

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2013...rold-woman.aspx

Published: Tuesday August 20, 2013 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Tuesday August 20, 2013 MYT 7:31:02 AM

Daughter stumbles upon father in bed with 32-year-old woman

BY R.S.N. MURALI
MURALI@THESTAR.COM.MY


MALACCA: A seamstress who came back to her family home for Hari Raya earlier than scheduled had a rude shock when she stumbled upon her father in bed with his young girlfriend.

The 39-year-old woman, who works in Kuantan, had returned to her home in Felcra Lembah Kesang, Merlimau, about 23km from here, at noon last Monday.

As soon as she entered the hall, her 75-year-old father, who looked agitated, dashed out of his bedroom and questioned why she had returned earlier than expected.

The seamstress in her police report claimed that her father looked uneasy and was perspiring when he came out of the room, clad only in his sarong.

When she entered her father’s room to take something, she was taken aback by the sight of what appeared to be someone covered under a blanket on the bed.

However, when she asked her father about what she saw, he denied that there was someone in his room and told her that she must be hallucinating.

The woman became suspicious again when the father locked the room when he came out to greet a group of relatives who had come to visit the family about 20 minutes later.

Her suspicion was further fuelled when she saw a shadow moving around in her father’s locked room through the gap underneath the door.

She then forced her father to open the door but he claimed he had lost the keys and made some pretext of looking for tools in a store room to break the door.

The woman said one of her relatives, who lost patience, kicked the door open and found a 32-year-old woman cowering under the bed with her face covered in the blanket.

The man, who became angry, pushed his daughter and attempted to flee with his girlfriend, but they were overpowered by the relatives.

The man and his girlfriend were handed over to enforcement officers from the Jasin Religious Department at about 9.30pm the same day.

The man’s 69-year-old wife was not at home when the incident occurred as she was spending Hari Raya holidays in her village in Negri Sembilan.

It was understood that she rushed home the same day when told by her daughter of the father’s infidelity.

Go for it!!! Older men like MUCH younger attractive women, so your chances are bloody good. Unless you're missing the attractive part.

second that

or if he's elven like legolas i also ok

3,000 years old still looks like baligh baru sampai

Don't be silly laaaa... A thief steals, a robber robs, a player breaks hearts.

How difficult is it to spot a player? It's not like they're con men.

first of all.... do u expect the man of his age still single??? do your homework and investigate his background first....better safe than sorry....

to these replies, thanks for making me laugh.

20 years diff, too huge? but love can cross all seas climb all mountains jump all buildings. so no problem, go ahead

ha ha ha

Thanks to everyone who replied. I went on a few dates with him and things are looking up. He is amazing in EVERYTHING but a little bit picky, but i think i am up for the task hahha! I believe i will give it a try because without trying i will die regretful for sure.

A little bit picky? That's a red flag right there.

You're looking at things through a rose-tinted glass because you are infatuated with him and he's not showing all his bad traits because you two have just met not too long ago.

A little bit picky even at this stage means it will likely get worse as time goes by. Assuming he's a nice guy (not a player) and still single at 42 and just a little picky at this point could mean that he's way, way, waaaaaay picky if he's acting like his normal self. How do I know? I know of one 40 something single male who's pretty well off and not bad in the looks department. Even his own sister can't stand his picky-ness! That explains why he's still single.

ya, i will start from dating him casually. No rush, so i can observe him carefully while being with him. But seriously, being with him does direct my life to a much more interesting direction because he is so much more experienced in everything in life, and ya, the birds and the bees. I don't see myself losing anything as of right now.

Well I sincerely wish that things work out with both of u. Do let us know ya! :-)

Good start

Good luck.

That is good, a good relationship will make you happy and growing

if his machine still fully function u can consider

Thank you everyone. Haha! It's awkward to tell but his machine does function really damn well

Gay?

well if function well then u can hit on that ass girl!

Old enough to be your dad, that's not love but lust.

What silliness is this? So if there's an age gap, it's always lust???

You misunderstood, I meant he is old enough to be her dad. And the fact that she keep thinking of having sex with him is lust.

Ok. So what's wrong with lust then?

I did not say if anything was wrong with that. It is up to TS to decide herself.

Also, apologies if my earlier post caused your misunderstanding. Don't get so boiled up.

Am I reading lowyat forum version of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele?

Age difference aside, the kind of obsession TS described of him is so similiar

daamn wat a lucky old dck

20 years old is not a gap at all, is money..you need a stable life, even if the guys is only 1 year older than u, but he is some kind like lower stage worker only, u definitely feel the gap...

and yes, if i am the guy, i definitely wont choose u as my wife but sex lover okla...coz his money is always Appreciation, and you definitely Depreciate...i wont choose a wife that only wish to hv stable life and love my money....now she tot me is sexy, but when i am 66, she will get another guy secretly with my money.

sorry to be true..

2 week already fall on people...fall on his success and money instead

seducing him...easy...get him to hv some drink until 50% high, touch his cock right away with some breath on his ears...sure he got feeling unless he is gay

Good for you, he has taken the bait. You certainly have taken the initiative since your first post on Aug 16 (just 3-days). Wanted to tell u to take it slow but



Wow, that was fast (just 5 days after your first post) but if you can say that his machine functions damn well, is it serious or still casual. Cos you sound serious all this while. Is he serious or its just a physical thingy.

Hate to see a SYT get hurs

Hi guys, thanks for your concern. As of right now i think we are in the grey area as far as our relationship is concerned. It's both a physical and an emotional thing.
Sometimes, the gap in our communication can be real, but I think it's no big deal if we try to adjust and learn from each other.
We are not totally committed to each other yet but i can tell both of us are trying to make it serious.

Good luck for you then.

Good for both of you,I hope it works

What does "his machine" mean?