Ayo,what type of mother? Parents should not curse their children. The Malays believe the curse can come true. Ceylonese can't get along with Tamils. In Sri Lanka the Tamil Tigers killed a lot of the Sinhalese (Ceylonese people). The hate is carried to MY also. I notice the Sinhalese will not talk with a Tamil.

What happened was the wife was having complications during childbirth of the second child. My friend's mom said 'nevermind if ur wife dies, as long as my grandson ia safe". Now that is the mother in law from hell.

Long ago Chinese mothers-in-law oso like that wan. They forget that they would be the first to die. Cis! org tua tak sedar diri. They forget it is people's d'ter,give birth to her own descendants. Aiyoh2 such mil's deserved to be hated.

this topic scares me.. i been planning my wedding ( traditional) for like 3 years after ROM..

So we finally to have enough money to plan for simple dinner and wanna skip all those tradistional and left Yam Char and Dinner...

and i tell my mum the good news..at 1st she support.. then few week later start to call me and as question about drowry . I just say we will give u.. u dont have to be worry.. lucky she didnt ask how much..

then she say the dinner table angpow is for parent to keep and i terus jump at her.. say sorry.. siapa keluar money for dinner siapa keep... she terus diam diam

I cant imagine when we talk about dowry ><"

... I been working countless of couple for wedding as their photographer.. Most of the time will wedding will become the bad side. You will saw arguement or sometimes even shout during dinner.. All because dowry and both family. I would suggest that try get someone else to settle you wedding like wedding planner and your sister bro to prevent stress between 2 family.. Seriously

This post has been edited by C.P.U: Jun 11 2013, 03:42 PM

Hey girl,3 years? Kesian. Pretty long time. DO NOT allow tradition to torture you and your hubby. Actually if young people insist on no dinner,no yam cha the parents can't do anything bcs ROM means legally married,can sang chai already. You do bcs you want to give them face for bringing you up so parents must appreciate this fact about young people. Better to have bcs it once in your life only bcs next time when you become rich you'll regret.

Just do the yam cha and dinner. No need 5 star hotel. Food at hotel not nice,just classy. Give good food at a nice restaurant. The angpow will sort of cover the costs. You and hubby handle the whole thing and keep the angpow. No need to get them involved. No parent should be so unreasonable and greedy. No need liquor/wine unless the two fathers provide. What are the parents for anyway? To make life difficult for young people? Please. If parents can afford they must be generous. giving face to our kids is also giving face to ourselves.

People here do not understand this concept of giving face and accuse me of being so concerned with face but in business it is all important. You'll lose millions if you don't take care of your clients' face/feelings.

The dowry no need that much. Just RM2k is enough bcs she might not even give back half and you might end up short if you give her RM8k. Some mothers think the money is enough to cover her costs of bringing up the daughter. Believe me,no amount is enough! The relationship you have with her for the rest of her life will pay for all the money,energy,time and love she spent on you. The relationship and love will be more important than the dowry. Good luck.

Argh, she not pretty but the girl's mother are friendly also... Just surprised me when I heard the dowry is the amount... One of my relative more pityful... The girl side request USD8k no more no less and must in USD cash as dowry... That was 8years ago which USD rate are quite high... The girl mother request the amount higher and higher that each daughter get married.... I heard the mother even tell the youngest daughter that must have rm50k if not no need married... We was like WTF... She must have forgotten that she have a son... Now the mother asking the daughter to divorce with the husband cos the earning less than rm2.5k

wow sad to say but ur mom is money minded

i feel that Chinese wedding ceremony is taking up a lot of money.
i understand from my friend that there is a market value for dowry. I guess at this moment the dowry will cause the guy 10k.
this is not inclusive of the wedding table provided to the lady side. usually, the lady side will take up 5 to 10 tables depending on the request from her parents.
besides, the guy need to provide the lady relatives with homestay if they are from different hometown.
During the wedding dinner, the guy is also required to provide ang pow to lady's relatives that attended their wedding. This ang pow is to cover the transportation expense incurred by the lady's relatives.
In addition, before the wedding, the guy is also required to purchase satu ekor barbie doll as well as biscuit for the lady side to distribute to their relative....
so, i guess without 50k cannot marry a chinese lady........hehe

i totally agreed with ur comment but the problem is not all girl's parent has dis kind of thinking.
there are girl's parent that wanna show off in front of their relative so they need to ask as high dowry as possible from the guy side.
if that guy side gif them 1 million, when they boost around and they can walk like a boss.....
if that guy side gif 10buck, they dun allow their daughter to get married already.
this is true story. there are parents like this.
asking so much from the young couple for wat.......i prefer my daughter to get a faithful husband than getting 1million from the guy side then after one week kahwin, that guy go n find other gal....

Betoi2. I'd rather he truly loves my daughter,takes care of her and the kids like they're precious and is hard-working/trustworthy. In future the man's family will look down on the greedy parents,esp the moms.

actually having this kind of mil is a torture for the guy cz this kind of mil is confirmed money face.
later on in the life, this mil will compare with other ppl and then complain to her daughter that u husband so lousy la.....u c other ppl using new car n buy big house d but ur husband still driving saga.....
end up the relationship between that couple will turn out to be sour if the wife listen to her mom....
difficult to control dis kind of mil and she will try to suck as much money from ur wife. if her daughter dunwan gif her money, the she will say that i raise u until so big now wanna get some money from u oso cannot.........biadap...
if wife give, then she will say that it is her duty to payback bcs she is the one giving birth and raise her....
i was like wtf is going on..........i feel that she is treating her daughter like an animal rather than her own blood daughter...

atleast rm15k

memang pun~ i dah tahu awal awal

not yet discuss the dowry yet.. if her demand is too high then i will tell her that we pospone the wedding again lo ( she is the one yearly nag about my wedding )

lol.dam scary heard this thread liao.. forever alone guy.

lol yahiko
saya nampak permainan kamu

yes...still have. I still remember my wang hantaran 30k . mcb . can mod so much on
my car . but anyway , wedding dinner still earn money

one way to make it peaceful is just tell them, tell, not discuss, that the gaining of the angpow money will be averagely divided to cover the cost of YOUR wedding. all unacceptable/wastage/not important/useless/silly cost will be beared by the dude who bought it, rest will be covered

sounds fair?

Speaking of tradition, is there any society that does the opposite where the bride' family have to pay dowry instead ?

Sorry to upset so many of you. I opened the tered bcs want to make sure. I didn't know this topic is so scary. I was also shocked with the RM40k,RM30k and RM28,888 asking price. Selling pigs meh? I never knew there are money-faced mothers-in-law around. Please lah,why must be like that?

Nanti satu hari sudah tua dan sakit mau anak dia jaga tapi menantu lelaki itu tak izinkan baru lah menyesal! I always believe in the happy come,happy go saying.