I actually read all 8 pages!    So here's my 2 cents now...

TS, I'm just wondering... really out of curiosity, which no one has really pointed out here other than munkeyflo... How many times have you actually met your bf's parents in these 9 years? Do you know how to contact them? If yes, I suggest that you go and contact them, speak to them yourself, instead of listening to whatever your bf said to you about what he claimed his parents have said. To be honest, something just does not gel here, can't you/anyone see this? I just sense something fishy... You said that his parents were okay with you when you visited them, yet they disapprove of their son (your bf) being with you, or even marrying you? Did you ever find out what's the real reason(s) behind this matter? I just find it really strange. Maybe this does not seem like a big issue here... But really, after so many years together, they still can't accept you? If they really disapprove of you, I think your bf would have either fought hard for the relationship, or you would have just broken up long time ago, especially since most guys would just submit into their parents' wishes. My friend's bf's parents also disapprove of her for the first 3-4 years, but after that, they slowly accepted her and now, she and her bf are getting married this year. It's either your bf has been making up the whole thing about what his parents said, or... it's just an unbelievable thing how the parents have disapproved of you, yet you have been together for so many years (unless it's an "underground" relationship, but it can't be, as you've said that he has told you about what his parents said)...

Now, back to the whole main point about his affair. One thing you should know is that everyone, man or woman alike, has their own desires and lust. I'm not being a sexist here, but it is a known fact that most men have cheated or will probably cheat on their partner at least once (I mentioned MOST men only, okay?)... And there will be temptation everywhere. Perhaps the colleague is the kind of no-shame woman for seducing your bf, but then again, like what some people have mentioned here, your bf was the one who gave in to her seductive ways. Your bf is a grown man, who has his own urges and needs. He could tell you whatever lies he wants, but most men can hardly keep it in their pants whenever they feel horny or see someone seductive around them. Maybe he did mean that only you can turn him on so much because he loves you, but then again, if he feels it, he can just get it on anytime anywhere, and possibly with anyone. There is a difference though, as casual sex between two mere sex partners will never equal up to passionate/real lovemaking between two people who are in a relationship. He tried to get into action with you after the affair, before telling you, has nothing to do with whether you are still hot or not to him, it's just simply because he has the urge to do it (no offence, but this is really true, though I believe that you are a beautiful woman).

He told you about what happened, you gotta at least give him props for that, if he really wanted to saviour the relationship and have an honest and open communication with you. Yet, he actually had the balls to ask you for break-up, with the lame excuse of not wanting to hurt you... I don't know, but I feel that deep inside, you already have the answer you need, or else, you wouldn't really post here for extra opinions anymore. I'm a woman too (same age with you), and I for one, rely strongly on my instincts. Female intuition can be pretty (scarily) accurate I tell you. Another example of my friend's experience. She was devastated when her long-term bf told her that he had a fling with his college mate. She asked me if she should just let go or accept him back. I told her to just bear in mind that there is a consequence to whichever decision she makes. If she can't accept the betrayal, then she's gotta let go of him and be sad till time heals her wound. Or else, if she really still loves him very deeply, and since he has admitted his mistake and asked for her forgiveness, she should just save the relationship. Which, she did. She forgave him and guess what? He did it again, with the same girl, but he still admitted to her, because he had really realised his mistake and promised not to do it again. At that moment, I felt so bad for telling her to accept him back, but after a long talk, we evaluated her feelings and decided that she still loves him very deeply so she forgave him once more and took him back. However, I told her to make that decision only if she could bear with the possibility of being hurt for the third time, as I feel that the guy has made my friend the "Queen", and the girl is just a "Concubine", that no matter what, the guy will still go back to my friend after each mistake. So what happened after that? He stopped hurting her, but really cherished their relationship, be a good bf and provider, and they are getting married soon. So, now, in your case, it's totally up to you. But of course, just keep in mind that "every action will have a reaction".

If he had wanted to marry you, he would have done anything he could to make it happen, instead of using his parents as another lame excuse. I think he's finally showing his true colours... He's probably losing interest in the relationship. Haven't you heard of the 7-year itch? You should be happy that yours has surpassed way longer than that mark. I know how you probably feel about losing the one person you have spent a big chunk of your life with, but you really can't and shouldn't let the duration of time blind/cloud your judgement of the right action. If he has really lost interest in this relationship, most probably he will just do something to hurt you again, in hopes that you will leave him first (so that he wouldn't feel so bad), or you are both gonna live in a partnership-relationship (maybe no feelings from either/both sides already, but still stick with each other after spending such a long time together). Don't let it be a one-sided thing, as you say you still love him very much, but once the relationship has run its course, there is really no use of trying to keep it. Either you find ways to spice things up, add the spark back and make your relationship alive again, or you may end up being the "Queen" but you will possibly be living in a denial, as your "King" goes to his "Concubine(s)" each time. It's not that I watch too much drama, but really, in reality, the sad truth is, there are women suffering in silence and choose to turn a blind eye to their cheating husband/partner all because they are too afraid to lose him. But then again, I still believe in long-term commitments. I have friends who have been with their partners for over 12 years, and still counting. The secret of their successful relationship? They give and take, forgive and forget. If you think you can stomach what he's done, then by all means, keep pursuing this relationship. Have a real heart-to-heart talk with him. Sort out your future together. Or else, it's time to move on already, and it won't be an easy road ahead, yet you're gonna make it because you are strong enough...

Perhaps you can just look at Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson... He still got back with her after her widely-publicised affair. Sometimes, you get back with that same person again despite what they have done because to you, only that one person can understand you best. Btw, no matter what the circumstances are, do not go and find fault with the girl your bf slept with. Always be the better person. It hurts, yes, but why stoop to her level? Right?

Sorry if this is too much for you, but at least please appreciate the time taken to type this whole wall of text for you to share my thoughts with you. Like you, I long for a loyal partner and long-lasting relationship too. I hereby sincerely wish you all the best! If you still need someone to talk to, you can PM me. I'm currently jobless, so I don't mind chatting with you. We can just have a girl talk or whatever you know? They say it's nicer to talk to strangers sometimes... Take care babe. Hope you'll get the happy ending you truly deserve!