I have known this girl, M for 4 years,she's was a student in a college in Damansara. When I was first introduced to her by my friend who came from the same hometown as her, at that time, I have no feelings and basically just treated as a hi-bye friend as she was already in a relationship and the bf was someone from her hometown.
She was usually alone on her 1st year in KL, being polite and concerned, my friend usually get her to hang out with us or include her in our gang's weekend outings or chilling sessions. Slowly the ice melt and whole bunch of us gelled well and i got to know more about her.

On her 2nd year, she broke up with the bf (reason nvr disclosed to us and we didn't wanna pry) and somehow I became her "rebound guy", she will always call me, ask me accompany her for meals and what-nots. We also have long phone conversations daily and etc (i guess stuffs that normal couples do) but nothing physical. Slowly I was attracted to her and thought to formally ask her to be my gf. When i finally had the courage to pop the question (not easy,I am apparently in the Stone Age in this love matters ), apparently I was 1 step late or whatsoever for her reply was she met a guy and she was about to break the news to our group of friends. I accept it as it is and contented to just being a friend again.
While she was with the 2nd bf, I noticed that she had changed, gaining self-esteem to take part in modelling shoots (she is one helluva of a beautiful lady),being more proactive in her college group,clubbing frequently and did not hang out with us that often anymore. She will only calls me whenever she is unhappy or need help or lonely.

She broke up with the bf after 7 months,I don't really know the details but i knew that the bf lose interest and slowly the relationship died off.I admit I was elated to hear that and I was looking forward spending time with her.Things was the same like the last time,we spend time with each other,I was there to help out everything and anything (her college assignments & thesis),fetching her around (her photo shoots,classes,her outings) and help her financially (Not often). I started buying her gifts for her birthday or special occasion like Christmas, Valentines etc or whenever I'm back from overseas traveling (it costs a lot). I display and gave hints i have feelings for her but she never did rejected nor openly reciprocate my advances.

Last year Valentine was the time I confess to her and her reply was she prefer the way things are and was not interested for a relationship but i have seen some of her sms reply to a male friend that were pretty mushy and lovey dovey.I, unfortunately, did not take the news well and I distanced myself from her for quite some time needing it to cool myself down. We usually just communicate by calls or sms but I always politely decline her request for drinks or hanging out. I still did shower her with gifts (couriered to her,not self-deliver). Early Oct last year, we started hanging out again and pretty much it all came back to the same pattern but I knew that she secretly seeing another guy (coincidentally bumped into her several time with the guy when she claims she was sick or busy). When I casually asked, she kept denying and said nothing is happening and I decided to take her word for it.

The last 3 months was pretty much a whirlwind for me,I spent a lot of my time with and money pampering her and I asked her the same question again on January. Needless to say, I got the same reply and I decided to just concentrate in my career and I stop contacting nor taking her calls. 2 weeks ago, she got a job at my friend's company (I introduced her to my friends company on December, apparently my friend decided to hire her on Feb), my friend had den told me that M told him that she have a bf and was in relationship for the last 2 years.

Can you imagine how disappointed I am that I got to know this from a friend who is not even a close buddy?and to be fooled and deceived for 4 years?the time i spent?the money i spent?the effort?my friends calls u a gold digger, a b*tch. I can't and don't want to believe that what they say were true.

I prefer to think that I am naive and u were not using me.

if go cheong with that money and that time also dont feel like a waste....

haiz....

Oh.. how nice to have a fren forever given me morale support, shower me with love, gifts and drive me around.. always be there for me.
Best of all.. this is just a fren.. not bf. I still have all the freedom to flirt around.. hahahaha. I don't have to love him.. as long as he love me..untung ya.

she like and felt comfortable around you, she dont want to lose you, she loves you, as a friend.

Sorry about ur case, i think u better ask clearly about what ur friends told u, if she admit, u can straight away throw the word "b****" toward her and move on. For i prefer thing to be clearer before it ended. At least i learn the lesson fully not partially. good luck~

why? What wrong did the girl do to TS?

nothing. She didn't lead him on.

TS wanted to be a doormat, chasing her like a goddess, thinknig one day she might just suddenly fall in love with her.

She didnt cheat on him, didnt do anything to TS.

TS buy/treat/gifts all by himself, she didnt ask anything from him too.

My advice

Can you imagine how disappointed I am that I got to know this from a friend who is not even a close buddy?and to be fooled and deceived for 4 years?the time i spent?the money i spent?the effort?my friends calls u a gold digger, a b*tch. I can't and don't want to believe that what they say were true.

I prefer to think that I am naive and u were not using me.

Added response @ 23.02.2012,11.56pm:- I think i owe it to answer some of your questions,some of the gifts are willingly given and some were requested.I don't keep tab on the items bought but I do remember some major stuffs like a Miu Miu bag,Iphones(yes,s is for plural) and a Oscar de la Renta evening dress(boy,the most traumatizing shopping experience in NY).

And to be honest,I am no rich kid,am not endowed with good looks,i weight tonnes in kg and apparently my IQ is lower than a police dog.

She's a man eater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, all of her love
She's a man eater
Make you buy cars
Make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all

To be fair, if she were smarter and more mature, she should have refused all those gifts. But considering how foolish and immature TS has been, he certainly has no right to blame her.

Somewhat reminds me of myself in the old days, but I did not throw any gifts like you. To be honest, i have few cases like these, sacrifice my own time for someone I think that might be worthy but that time I was blinded. When I finally come to my senses, its really impossible to begin with, reality hits u hard bro. Just live on and keep a distant

I have known this girl, M for 4 years,she's was a student in a college in Damansara. When I was first introduced to her by my friend who came from the same hometown as her, at that time, I have no feelings and basically just treated as a hi-bye friend as she was already in a relationship and the bf was someone from her hometown.
She was usually alone on her 1st year in KL, being polite and concerned, my friend usually get her to hang out with us or include her in our gang's weekend outings or chilling sessions. Slowly the ice melt and whole bunch of us gelled well and i got to know more about her.

On her 2nd year, she broke up with the bf (reason nvr disclosed to us and we didn't wanna pry) and somehow I became her "rebound guy", she will always call me, ask me accompany her for meals and what-nots. We also have long phone conversations daily and etc (i guess stuffs that normal couples do) but nothing physical. Slowly I was attracted to her and thought to formally ask her to be my gf. When i finally had the courage to pop the question (not easy,I am apparently in the Stone Age in this love matters ), apparently I was 1 step late or whatsoever for her reply was she met a guy and she was about to break the news to our group of friends. I accept it as it is and contented to just being a friend again.
While she was with the 2nd bf, I noticed that she had changed, gaining self-esteem to take part in modelling shoots (she is one helluva of a beautiful lady),being more proactive in her college group,clubbing frequently and did not hang out with us that often anymore. She will only calls me whenever she is unhappy or need help or lonely.

She broke up with the bf after 7 months,I don't really know the details but i knew that the bf lose interest and slowly the relationship died off.I admit I was elated to hear that and I was looking forward spending time with her.Things was the same like the last time,we spend time with each other,I was there to help out everything and anything (her college assignments & thesis),fetching her around (her photo shoots,classes,her outings) and help her financially (Not often). I started buying her gifts for her birthday or special occasion like Christmas, Valentines etc or whenever I'm back from overseas traveling (it costs a lot). I display and gave hints i have feelings for her but she never did rejected nor openly reciprocate my advances.

Last year Valentine was the time I confess to her and her reply was she prefer the way things are and was not interested for a relationship but i have seen some of her sms reply to a male friend that were pretty mushy and lovey dovey.I, unfortunately, did not take the news well and I distanced myself from her for quite some time needing it to cool myself down. We usually just communicate by calls or sms but I always politely decline her request for drinks or hanging out. I still did shower her with gifts (couriered to her,not self-deliver). Early Oct last year, we started hanging out again and pretty much it all came back to the same pattern but I knew that she secretly seeing another guy (coincidentally bumped into her several time with the guy when she claims she was sick or busy). When I casually asked, she kept denying and said nothing is happening and I decided to take her word for it.

The last 3 months was pretty much a whirlwind for me,I spent a lot of my time with and money pampering her and I asked her the same question again on January. Needless to say, I got the same reply and I decided to just concentrate in my career and I stop contacting nor taking her calls. 2 weeks ago, she got a job at my friend's company (I introduced her to my friends company on December, apparently my friend decided to hire her on Feb), my friend had den told me that M told him that she have a bf and was in relationship for the last 2 years.

Can you imagine how disappointed I am that I got to know this from a friend who is not even a close buddy?and to be fooled and deceived for 4 years?the time i spent?the money i spent?the effort?my friends calls u a gold digger, a b*tch. I can't and don't want to believe that what they say were true.

I prefer to think that I am naive and u were not using me.

Added response @ 23.02.2012,11.56pm:- I think i owe it to answer some of your questions,some of the gifts are willingly given and some were requested.I don't keep tab on the items bought but I do remember some major stuffs like a Miu Miu bag,Iphones(yes,s is for plural) and a Oscar de la Renta evening dress(boy,the most traumatizing shopping experience in NY).

And to be honest,I am no rich kid,am not endowed with good looks,i weight tonnes in kg and apparently my IQ is lower than a police dog.

True. She just enjoyed having free gifts and a free driver. All of that just not easy to give up. But she was a beach yeah, typical whor

Did she ask you to spend money on her? Did she ask you to buy her gifts?

I don't think so. You were the one who treated her as if her affections can be bought. You were the one who never had the balls to show her how you feel. Now you're gonna blame her for your own cowardice? 

Other people cannot use you unless you allow yourself to be used, so you should blame yourself for being used as a doormat.

Did she ask you to spend money on her? Did she ask you to buy her gifts?

I don't think so. You were the one who treated her as if her affections can be bought. You were the one who never had the balls to show her how you feel. Now you're gonna blame her for your own cowardice? 

well it seems like girlz
haiz
i never had a thought to have a crush in Uni
it seems to be girls over cities are over-materialistic

when she broke up, she most likely got several rebound guys aside u to keep her company. she most likely going after few guys at a time.

next time don't go for pretty gals, they r some wat a liability.

dude, not accepting him is fine, but hiding that she had a bf for so long is nt. obviously she didnt wanna tell him cos she enjoyed the treatment

well it seems like girlz
haiz
i never had a thought to have a crush in Uni
it seems to be girls over cities are over-materialistic

She sometimes still calls or msg,I swear to God my hands gets sweaty,hahaha

Dont ressurect Ancient Thread

What you should do is up your game. You should bring to fine dining and buy fancy gif..... oh... it's you. nevermind.

Next week dinrar,same spot

Dayum... new paycheck means renewed experience. Good job bro! Don't forget to buy her a Galaxy S4, or the new Xperia, she'll be VERY impressed

I know how you feel bro. Happen to me before as well .......

She sometimes still calls or msg,I swear to God my hands gets sweaty,hahaha

i know that feel

apart from the showering girls with gifts etc.

My hands get sweaty too when they're between her legs in the cinema. What's up with that?

i know that feel

apart from the showering girls with gifts etc.

My hands get sweaty too when they're between her legs in the cinema. What's up with that?

it means she should be wearing a more well-ventilated dress

IKR,yeah,i agree i was too crazy,hahahaha,pengaruhromance movie kuat sgt
You always lucky and dude,the chicks you date are seriously hawt,mang!

P.S Don't compare with losers like me la

So I bangla la?

Is she a chinese girl? Just curious because I have seen many other similar cases and all of them were chinese girls. No racism intended,i'm chinese myself,just my observation of life in Malaysia.Hope things go well for you ts.

Some wimmin are sociopathically well in manipulation.
Kecian TS dulu bodoh like police dog but you should be recovered from doormat spell 

TS u trolling ka?

Yes, you're being used. Calling yourself 'fat and stupid' shows that you have no integrity and respect for yourself, how can you expect others to respect you? If you think you can make up for your shortcomings by throwing out money and gifts to buy a woman's affections, you're asking for it, digging your own grave.

Stop thinking that you can buy women's affections just by throwing out gifts and money. People like you treat women like they're so cheap and easy. Don't complain when you fail to "buy" her over, because you have become what you truly are - A doormat.

She may not have said it, because if doing so would make her an even bigger b|tch, but your weight does matter.

Don't be lazy and start getting in shape!

The boy, Chi Wan Kim, sleeps in his mother's arms. He had not been able to sit still all afternoon, and he and his grandfather had shot at each other with plastic guns. The boy has a grandfather, a grandmother, an uncle and his mother. His father, Duk Koo Kim, a Korean boxer more famous in death than in life, is dead. He died seven months before the boy was born. Chi Wan Kim has his father's round face. He often asks, "Where is my father?" and his mother tells him, "He got on a plane and went to the States." There is truth in her tale. The father did go to America, five years ago, and that is where he died.

The mother, Young Mee Lee, was 21 and engaged to marry Duk Koo Kim when he went to Las Vegas in November 1982 to fight Ray Mancini for the WBA lightweight championship of the world. In the 14th round of the fight, Mancini hit Kim twice on the head. At the second blow, Kim collapsed, tried to get up and fell down again. After a blood clot was removed from his brain at the Desert Springs Hospital in Las Vegas, the doctor said Kim would not live long.

Kim was attached to a respirator, and his mother flew in from Seoul with his half brother, Jong Ho Lee. The half brother brought herbal medicine, and the mother brought acupuncturists. Kim lived on the respirator for four days before one of the acupuncture specialists finally said, "He belongs to the dead." The mother allowed the machine to be turned off.

Three months later, Kim's mother was dead. She had drunk a bottle of pesticide. Neighbors speculated that she killed herself because of all the fighting over the money the family would receive from her son's insurance. Four months after the mother's death, Kim's son was born. A memorial service was held on the first anniversary of Kim's death, and in time those who cared most about him went on with their lives.

Though he had won the Orient and Pacific Boxing Federation lightweight title at the time of his death, people do not speak of Duk Koo Kim as one of his country's great boxers. They remember him best for all but dying before a national television audience. His picture holds no prominence in his manager's gymnasium in Seoul, and the only poster billing one of Kim's fights is tucked in a corner, above a rusting bicycle.

Kim was 23 years old when he died. For most of his life he was poor. His father had died when he was two years old, and his mother married four times. Kim's first home of his own was a shabby room in a Seoul boardinghouse. When he started making money as a fighter, he dreamed of buying that house and of one day walking from it with his wife and child to the Olympic Stadium to see the 1988 Games. His legacy became the 14-round championship fight and a name that joined those of Benny (Kid) Paret, Willie Classen and Johnny Owen—other boxers whose deaths made people ponder the wisdom of the sport.

Kim was buried on a hill overlooking the fishing village of Kojin, in Kangwon Province, where he grew up and which he left at 16 to seek his fortune. He earned $20,000 for his last fight, but his fianc�e's portion of his insurance policy was worth far more, $60,000. In the month after Kim's death, Young Mee Lee was especially upset. On the mistaken assumption that she was a Buddhist, there were reports that she was going to marry Kim posthumously so his soul might rest easily. But Lee is a Christian.

After Chi Wan was born, she used her inheritance to help buy a new house for herself, her parents, her brother and her son. Describing the early days of her romance with Kim, Lee says, "It was love at first sight for him, so he used to chase after me. At first he asked me for a cup of tea, and after that he called for dates. That was in the fall of 1981, so the memory is not so clear. In the beginning I didn't like him too much because he was a boxer. He was serious, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. He kept on calling, but I turned him down. Finally he wrote me a letter."

She finds the letter and says, "It begins, 'When a man cries because his heart aches, the whole world cries.' Eventually I began to like his personality. He was very strong, very brave, manly and well-mannered. I visited where he lived—it was a poor area." He lived with a friend, the boxer Bong Sang Lee, in a room where Kim hung framed pictures of his fights on the wall and kept a scrapbook, his most valued possession. He also wrote slogans and pinned them up. One of them read, POVERTY IS MY TEACHER. It was written in blood. Lee says, "He showed me his journal."

The journal, which he was keeping at the time of his death in 1982, began with an apology. "With a mixed feeling of fear and excitement, I am afraid that, hardly knowing how to spell, I may become a laughingstock for writing this story.... On my second birthday my father passed away. Soon after, I suffered a disease which almost killed me.... My mother, Yang Sun Nyo, was a woman of great misfortune; she married four times.... Leaving me in her sister's care in Seoul when I was only an infant, she took all sorts of jobs, including a housemaid, but without much success. Come to think of it, she was only 25. No one can blame her for trying to seek happiness by remarrying. My childhood dream was having a bowl of hot rice."

Lee read how Kim's mother left her third husband, a bean curd peddler, because his grown son was cruel to her. Taking her two young sons, she walked a great distance and finally arrived in a fishing village, where she begged for food for her boys. There she met and married her fourth husband. He had three sons, who became Kim's brothers. Kim wrote, "One new brother used to drag me around, forcing me to fight with other village kids. The older kids enjoyed watching our fights, and I despise them even today for it. At the age of six I was learning to fight.... In those childhood days I could see the red sun rising from the ocean's horizon. I planned my future while watching the sunrise and the bright sunlight. I always repeated to myself that I shall live to make it big.... I used to catch and eat scallop and fish and swim out far, far away.... When autumn came, we used to catch locust to fry and eat.... In winter we'd go wild-rabbit hunting. With a stick in our hands, we'd climb a snow-covered hill where there were so many wild rabbits. Or we'd go sledding on frozen rice paddies. But there were more days of hardship than fun."

At 16, Kim left home and got a job in a bakery in the city of Sokcho, about 120 miles west of Seoul. After two years he moved on to the capital, where he worked as a welder in a steel mill. He left this job after he got into a fight with his boss. "When I was ignored or humiliated," he wrote, "I felt an unbearable anger. Even these days, I simply cannot stand being looked down on. Back then, I was not thinking about the consequences of my action. I never had a happy home, and I was deeply unsatisfied. And every now and then, I would become uncontrollably angry."

He left the mill with no money and had to beg a bus driver to let him on a bus. The bus took him to a neighborhood by a stream, where he found wood and made a fire. He slept under a bridge, ate crackers and drank water for two days and looked for work. Then, when his life was at its lowest point, he found a job selling palm-reading books in coffee shops. Although he considered it demeaning work and made less than a penny on each book he sold, Kim was no longer hungry. He wrote, "I know I cannot afford to be lazy.... I must create 'something' in order to realize my great dream.... I never liked my mother very much as a kid. I had wanted her to raise me on her own. I guess I was too young to know.... But now I understand my mother and feel sorry for her. That's why I want to be a good son and bring her happiness. In order to do that, I must reach the top.... A country boy named Kim Duk Koo [the correct order of his name in Korean] will show the world something.... I shall run and fight until I am covered with blood and sweat."

Young Mee Lee says, "I couldn't help but cry. He cried. I thought, 'Although he may not be rich or successful, he needs me.' "

By the time they were engaged in June 1982, however, Kim had begun to make a modest name for himself in boxing. He won the Korean lightweight championship in December 1980 and the Orient and Pacific title in February 1982. Lee never saw him box, but he did take her to see a fight so that, before they were married, she would have some idea of a boxer's life.

They celebrated their engagement with parties at her parents' home, in Seoul and in his mother's village of Kojin, a four-hour drive from the capital.

With only one loss in 19 professional fights, Kim had exceeded the expectations of his manager, who had not thought much of his talent when he first arrived and announced he was going to be a champion. Hyun Chi Kim agreed to train him but not to take him into his stable of fighters, who lived in the gymnasium dormitory and did not have to hold jobs. Kim worked and trained and still did not impress his manager. Among the new friends he made was Bong Sang Lee, who became his roommate. Once, when their manager told Kim that he did not think he was giving enough of himself to be a good boxer, Kim confided to Lee that he wanted to kill himself.

Still he won 29 of his 33 amateur fights, and when he became a professional the first present he bought himself was a pair of sneakers. He trained hard. He ran to the gymnasium rather than take the bus. He strengthened his neck by tying cord to a barbell and holding the weight with his teeth. In time he was invited into the boxing stable. Many of the other boxers were young men who also had come from the provinces without money but with lofty plans.

His manager sent him to a commercial high school, and on his graduation day Kim stood in his black, high-collared school uniform with a garland of flowers around his neck. He fought in boxing halls of Seoul like the Munwha, a dark, dusty gym filled with folding chairs. Boxers were once great heroes in South Korea, then a poor country that lacked the sports and games of richer lands. Fights were the leading diversion. But by the last year of Kim's life, baseball and television had come to the country, and people didn't go to the fights as often.

People watched boxing on television, however, and it was on television that South Korea saw Kim's final bout. He and his manager left Seoul two weeks before the Las Vegas fight, stopping first in Los Angeles for preparation. Kim had never been to the U.S., but he devoted himself to little other than his training. He called his fianc�e a week before the fight to say that he had bought her a watch and some cosmetics.

At Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, where the bout would be held, Kim posed for a snapshot in front of a fight poster by placing a fist on Ray Mancini's face. He was confident he could win the match.

Four days after the fight, Kim's body lay in an open coffin in Paradise Valley, a Las Vegas suburb, dressed in a brown checked sport coat. His head was wrapped in a bandage. When the body was shipped to South Korea, 500 people came to his funeral at the Munwha Gymnasium in Seoul. His coffin, with one of his trophies placed inside, was wrapped in a South Korean flag. A movie of his life, The Tiger Who Does Not Cry, played in Seoul for 15 days.

The gymnasium where he trained no longer exists. Hyun Chi Kim now prepares his fighters in another gym. The manager has lined his office with pictures of his fighters, and in the corner is the photo of Duk Koo Kim standing in the middle of the ring, holding a trophy, a curious smile on his face, as if he is not letting himself smile too broadly. On a glass-top coffee table, there are three pictures of Ray Mancini.

The people who knew Kim hold no animosity toward Mancini, because, they say, he did not intend to kill anyone. Still, those who knew Kim best have distanced themselves from the sport. Bong Sang Lee, Kim's friend and roommate, gave up fighting and moved to a farming town. Young Mee Lee has decided her son will be an educated man, a politician perhaps, and will not become a professional athlete.

Lee has her fianc�'s photograph albums, his newspaper clippings and the diary he wrote in pencil. She has no plans to marry. She lives in her new home with her family, and sometimes she feels as though Kim were living there with them. Although she did not know him very long, 14 months, she believes she learned the sort of man he was. She says, "He always wanted to be loved more."

Yes, you're being used. Calling yourself 'fat and stupid' shows that you have no integrity and respect for yourself, how can you expect others to respect you? If you think you can make up for your shortcomings by throwing out money and gifts to buy a woman's affections, you're asking for it, digging your own grave.

Stop thinking that you can buy women's affections just by throwing out gifts and money. People like you treat women like they're so cheap and easy. Don't complain when you fail to "buy" her over, because you have become what you truly are - A doormat.

Please la, what's wrong with one calling oneself fat if she is fat? That doesn't mean no integrity or self respect. That is knowing one's place. Waffor wanna be like those whales who wear tube tops and tight mini skirt and walks around calling herself hawt?

But you're right though. Men shouldn't make up for their shortcomings by just throwing out money and gifts to win a woman's affection. They should also be funny, must be sensitive, must compliment her, must plan for the future, must be a good father, must not be calculative, and must be willing to sacrifice for her and the family unit.

Ikr,lifestyle problem

I should put in twice more effort to cover my shortcomings

I'm a guy but yeah,I don't wear tight fitting shirts or singlets

No wonder I lose la,most men already do that but since I got faceproblem and weight problem, I should put in twice more effort to cover my shortcomings

Apa punya lifestyle?
Be glad you can do something about your weight. I can't do anything about my height.

But what do you think of the whales who wear tube top and mini skirts and goes "I'm all that fabulous"?

Do you think they have integrity and self respect?

No comments...

What??? What kind of man are you? Women find unopinionated men a turn off. A man with a conviction in what he believes in are a major turn on for women! Be a man, do the right thing!

Ikr,lifestyle problem